Hurt Before

Alki's 'In Blue' Challenge# 14- Hurt Before

by Erin Griffin

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Millicent/Hermione

Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling. Nor do I know her, nor do I plan to meet her in my lifetime, nor do I plan to stalk her and try to meet her, nor do I want to do any of these things. But I would love to be a rich writer like her.

Author's Note: This is post everything, a big battle w/lots of character death. Pretend that everyone you don't hear mentioned in this story was killed off in that big battle of good and evil. It was that bad.

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Eight years. Eight years since it all ended. The wizard world will never be the same. The great Harry Potter is dead. The whole world lost a hero that night, and most Muggles didn't even know what was lost to save us all. It is my job to make sure this remains true. I make sure that those Muggles who do know anything stay quiet, otherwise I am forced to put them in a housing facility designed to hold them in a way that no one would believe them, anyway. In other words, a nuthouse. Most days, I want to enter one of those solitary cells, give Justin Finch-Fletchley the keys and never look back. Maybe shout out about the thousands of withes and wizards who died, my love among them, just to prove my sanity or lack thereof. She was so reluctant to fight, my love, especially after everything we had experienced, but she did. We'd fought face to face, then back to back, and in the end everything had been lost. So much so that our victory over evil felt small. With all of my knowledge, my booksmarts and studying... With all of my experiences as part of 'the trio' and even Dumbledore's Army, nothing prepared me for this. I'd failed them. All of the spells I needed were right there in my head, but I'd gotten so scared, it all got jumbled up there... and when they pointed their wands at her, I couldn't find the spell to block it. I had forgotten the spell to shield us. She didn't, but she'd fallen out of that shield when she'd been hit. She'd been too late to save herself and she knew it, but she'd saved me. She went down, and had only nodded one quick nod before her life ended. I still don't know exactly what it'd meant. Was it okay with her how it all ended? Well, it wasn't okay with me. I wish every bloody day she'd come back and show me the way. I feel so lost when I used to know everything. Perhaps the nod meant she knew. Knew how I felt about her, that she'd somehow known all along. I wish she'd have clued me in. "Millicent..." I say her name, a summon to emptiness. I spend my nights thinking of her, wondering where her soul was now if not with me.

"Hermione..." I am startled by the sound of her voice, soft and almost not at all the way it has been in my mind for most of the decade. I look up from the scrolls on my desk. It was long since time to go, but where was I to be? Lost in my own thoughts in a flat that barely met Muggle health standards? It was nearing ten at night, and I did feel a bit tired. Of everything.

"Millicent?"

"Come with me." It is then that I see her, so beautiful like the early morning she died. I swallow, my mouth feeling as if it doesn't work. My heart had almost given up on ever seeing her again.

Finally I ask, "Where?"

To that, she just shrugs. "Does it really matter where?"

Good point. She reaches out her hand, her eyes telling me not to be scared. I feared nothing after that night. I take her hand without hesitation.

End

Hurt Before Lyrics
The Corrs

She's a girl in a world, she's moving as fast as she goes
Loves her mum and her dad, the only secure that she knows
But at night, she's alone, she's dreaming of somebody new
Her someone for to hold, she's praying the dream will come true

Show me the way - show me, show me how
Help me be brave - for love
Show me the way - show me, tell me how
What do you say

There's a pain in her heart, she's trying so hard to unwind
Makes her cry in the night, when visions so real make her blind
Wants to break through the the fear
Erasing the scars from within
Start a new kind of being - she's down and she's praying again

Show me the way - show me, show me how
Help me be brave - for love
Show me the way - show me, tell me how
What do you say

You see she's -
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the rollercoaster world
Stepping outside, with body and soul
Taking whatever future holds
Turning the key, unlocking the door
Embracing the rollercoaster world
Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five
And you know we've all been hurt before

[Violin solo]