Title: A different version

Author: Darkbard0

Fandom: Popular

Pairings: Brooke/Sam

Ratings: PG-13

Warnings: F/f slash

Disclaimers: Popular doesn't belong to me, nor do any of the characters.

Author's Notes: A rework from the episode 'The news of my death has been greatly exaggerated'.  Also, in this fic, Mike and Jane are not a couple, simply because I don't like them as a couple.

Feedback Email Address: ShalFoxB@hotmail.com

‘’Sammy!  As to what do I owe this honour?  I haven’t dined with you since October.  What, did you get kicked outta the news office for a change?  Getting too many crumbs in the keyboards?’’

Harrison was his usual cheery self.  He smiled brightly at his beautiful best friend as she slid into the seat across the table.  His dough brown eyes lighting up immediately.  He saw the look that had pooled up in her penetrating chocolate eyes and he knew why she was here.  He watched the confused, awkward and concerned look swirl in her eyes and dance across her angelic features.  She was here about his email, and she was squirming.  Okay, not such a good sign.  Not at all the one he’d been hoping for.  She was clearly uncomfortable, so what did that mean?

Harrison hoped the brunette reporter was simply confused about how to go about talking through this.  That she’d say she’d been feeling the same, but never dared say anything or could never find the right time.  He hoped that she’d give him a chance, and he’d finally be able to hold her close.  The way a loving boyfriend could.

‘’Is er…is that why you sent me that email?  You want me around more?’’

Sam started carefully.  She had no idea how to go about this.  Especially when he looked so innocent.  If he knew what she was talking about, he wasn’t giving it away.  He just gave her that questioning look, which scared her.  It scared her because she was facing her best friend.  And she didn’t want to loose him over this.

Sam already knew she didn’t feel anything for Harrison beyond friendship.  She couldn’t.  And she knew her heart belonged to another.  But, she couldn’t tell him that.  First off, it would hurt him.  Second, he’d want to know whom.  And third, she wasn’t ready to tell quite yet him yet, even though she’d been giving the idea some serious thought lately.  So, she’d have to handle this the best way she could.

‘’What email?’’

The boy asked, shaking his head lightly with a dopey smirk across his face.  Secretly, his heart was thumping so hard in his chest that he didn’t know how the object of his affections couldn’t hear it from where she sat.  He watched her flick her tongue out against her lower lip effortlessly.  It was something Sam did, a lot.  But she didn’t notice.  And she didn’t know how alluring and sexy it was either.  Like she was tempting people somehow.  His eyes watched her intensely.  The tiny frown that moved in over her perfect forehead as she cleared her throat before leaning forwards slightly, joining her delicate yet strong hands on the tabletop.

‘’Okay…er…maybe these words will jog your memory; ‘Dear Sam.  I love you.  This much I know is true.  Harrison.’’’

Un be known to herself, the brunette held in a breath.  Confronted by his own words, Harrison seemed to freeze.  An intense look seemed to settle into his face and his eyes as he stared at her.  This look was confirming his words and the longer he held it the faster her heart seemed to pound.

‘’Sam…’’

This was it.  This would be when everything changed between them.  Their whole friendship, pouring into a one sided love.  She almost wished he could have a different outcome.  But for that wish to come true, she’d have to change her own feelings.  So she up-dated her wish.  She wished that Harrison could love someone who could return it.  He’d been through so much and he deserved some happiness.  It just wouldn’t be with her.

‘’That was so a joke!  April fools!’’

Harrison’s sparkling eyes turned from intense to amused quickly.  So quick that Sam almost lost the transition.  Now, he was filled with laughter.  A ‘gotcha’ look smeared across his face.  His acting skills must have been excellent, because he watched as relief poured out of Sam as she let out a breath and gained a wide smile.  Rubbing her head slightly, she laughed lightly at the discharged situation.

So she was relieved?  Again not a good sign.  He wondered now if he’d done the right thing or not.  He wasn’t sure if he could handle her rejection if she had one.  So for now, he’d deny it and let her bask in knowing he’d played a prank on her.  That she had nothing to worry about.

‘’Can you imagine if that had actually been true?  If…I…I had actually gone to that desperate place of regret and…and…and actually meant those things?  Can you imagine if I was like, erasing all my deathbed musings and accidentally hit send?’’

At first Sam laughed.  Letting out her held breath as relief surged through her.  He didn’t love her.  He didn’t love her.  This was good.  Everything was going to be fine.  She pondered to herself for a moment on how she could have actually entertained the notion.  This was Harrison for crying out loud.

But it came crashing down.  His mistake had been his last sentence, and as soon as she’d heard it, her face fell.  He however, was still chuckling.  Why had he lied?  Why hadn’t he just admitted it when she’d recited his own words to her?  It just told her one thing.  If he did that, it had to be true.

‘’That’s what you did?’’

The reporter asked seriously with a distinct weight to her voice.  Narrowing her shining brown eyes, she told him silently that he’d made a mistake, and now he was busted.  And as she did, the dopey-eyed boy dropped his gaze into his original passionate one.  His expression portrayed the fact that he knew where he’d slipped up, and he knew she knew.

‘’Yeah.  That’s what I did.’’

Both of them felt the enormous weight that settled in as lumps in their stomachs.  Harrison’s voice caught in fear, regret and uncertainty.  It had all been fine and well putting it in an email, but talking face to face about it to Sam was beyond hard.  They were stranded out into a new territory with no map, life support or instructions.  That scared him.  Part of him just wanted things to be like they were.  Safe.  It was safe being Sam’s friend.  She’d always been there for him.  Especially when he’d been sick.  But the other part of him was screaming for things to change.  He needed to take the chance.  To risk it just in case his dreams could become reality.  So that he could hold her, kiss her, touch her, and tell her things that she’d love him back for.  All these things he dreamt about, night after night.  And after Clarence had shown him who she could end up with?  He couldn’t bear to see that.

‘’Um…do you…?’’

Sam didn’t know if she could bring herself to say it.  The lump in her throat was threatening to stop her voice, and the reporter hated that.  Again, this was Harrison.  She was meant to be secure and protected with him.  Friends.  So how did she do this?  Again she had no idea.  And as she realised this, she also realised she hadn’t actually formed a plan.  With the exception of confronting Harrison and saying no, she hadn’t planned a single word of conversation.  Her, the journalist.

At this, Sam’s expression resembled a bunny caught in the headlight of a car.  And the lump was swirling with a mix of anger, regret and guilt.  She didn’t want to be the bad guy that had to break his heart.  She didn’t want to watch the confused disappointment that would engulf him.  But she was angry.  She didn’t know why exactly, she just was.  Who was he to put this on her?  Who was he to go and change their perfectly fine friendship?  Damnit this was confusing.

‘’Still think that I love you?  Honestly?  Yes.’’

At least he’d decided to be honest.  And he’d taken the burden of saying it away from her and onto himself.  Harrison’s way of being noble.  And, without noticing, Harrison’s decision had been made.  It had dawned on the lanky brunette that he was to go after what he wanted.  And that was Sam.  He was tired of waiting around on the sidelines; he needed to play on the field.  Honesty was good, and he believed the reporter deserved at least that much.

‘’Harrison I don’t…’’

This was it.  The moment Sam had to shatter her best friend’s heart.  He didn’t notice, but her hands were shaking slightly.  She was scared of his reaction, and how things would end up between them.

‘’You’re not with anyone.  And I’ve known you longer than anyone.’’

Sam was stopped mid sentence, her mouth still open as she frowned slightly at his words.  She’d hoped he wouldn’t do this.  Drag it out.  Sound pleading.  Of course he believed it was pitching for what he wanted, which was usually something Sam admired.  But this, it was just falling on her ears as needy, desperate and pathetic.  Plus given the fact he’d started with ‘you’re not seeing anyone’ made her madder than hell.  Surely he knew that wasn’t the point in any of this?

‘’Excuse me?  What does that have to do with it?’’

She demanded huffily.  She’d found herself un-expectantly asking that.  The reporter had meant to stay rounded and gentle, but she guessed it was something she perhaps needed to work on.

‘’I’m just saying that I’ve known you longer, and I know you better than anyone else.  There’s nothing stopping you, you’re wide open.’’

Well that was it.  Harrison, with his expectant, enthusiastic and adoring eyes and expression, had raised his hopes to the sky.  He couldn’t see one problem now because he was right.  He’d known her longer, and knew her better than anyone else.  It was perfect.

Of course, Sam didn’t see it that way.  The brunette saw some rather huge flaws in Harrison’s line of thinking.  Like she didn’t feel for him.  Like she didn’t want him.  Like he didn’t actually know her better than anyone.  Like she was with someone else.  Like he hadn’t actually calculated her own feelings into this.  He just expected her to fall into his arms.  Was her friend that naïve?  Did he really think just because he loved her, and that she was ‘single’ then she’d love him back?

‘’I’m so angry with you right now Harrison.’’

Sam stated furiously.  But it was that kind of calm furious.  The silent seething one, but it came through her chocolate eyes and stabbed him.

His face fell, which the reporter had expected.  It only served to make her madder.  He didn’t see did he?  The boy had no idea what he’d done.  How he’d just over looked her feelings.  How he’d assumed things about her.  So now not only had he dumped them into a difficult place by confessing his love, he’d just abused their friendship by offending her and slightly hurting her too.

‘’Why?’’

Harrison was beyond confused.  How could Sam be mad at him?  He’d been honest.  He’d pointed out the obvious truth.  How could she be angry?  Did she not realise that nothing was stopping them?  He wasn’t sure he could make it any clearer.  So instead, he asked for an answer.

He watched the exasperated look she threw his way.  One that was disbelieving that he didn’t understand.  Plus, Harrison thought he glimpsed flashes of something else in those gracious eyes of hers too.  But he couldn’t place them.  What he could place was that she was racing to find exactly what to say.

‘’You’ve just ruined, a wonderful friendship.’’

Sam needed out.  And she needed out now.  The aspiring journalist didn’t think her friend had ever worked her up as much.  Which in turn lead Sam to the point where she couldn’t handle the situation anymore.  If that meant she was a bad friend too, she’d have to carry that burden for a while.  For now, the brunette bolted up from her seat and made a beeline for the exit.

Storming past every student that were lurking the halls Sam didn’t look at anyone or speak to anyone as she tore in the general direction of the news office.  Burning around the corner Sam felt relieved to see the door to her trusty safe haven where she spent many of her hours.  The place represented her accomplishments, and everything she aspired to be.  It represented the start of her flourishing career as a journalist.

Flinging herself inside, Sam slammed the door shut and leaned forwards onto it slightly as to try and calm herself.  It didn’t work though.  Her mind still raced.  So the brunette chose to take liberty of her high-ranking position and locked the door.  No one would be disturbing her for a long while, especially not Harrison.

Turning, she looked around before stalking through the room and into her personal office.  Again, the place represented many things to her.  She was proud to have it.  Given that she’d earned it at a younger age than anyone else before her at Kennedy.  So once again, for good measure, the brunette locked the door.

‘’Hey!’’

Letting out a rather un-flattering, high-pitched yelp Sam turned around quickly to see who was hiding in the dull shadows of her office.  Her shock made her slam her back against the door un-gracefully, preparing to…well she didn’t know what but something.  She watched Buffy, she was sure she could think of something or other.  Never the less, she faced her would be attacker.

‘’Jesus Brooke!  Feel free to give me a heart attack wont you?’’

The out of breath brunette snapped as her startled chocolate eyes took in the blonde standing in front of her.  She knew Brooke hadn’t meant to scare her, and she knew that the cheerleader didn’t deserve to be snapped at.  But Brooke had caught her at a very odd time.  However, as soon as she settled her eyes on Brooke, her face started to betray her by showing the mass of emotions she was desperately trying to fend off.

‘’I’m sorry.  Hey…hey…come here.  What’s wrong?  What happened?’’

Brooke, to say the least, was surprised by Sam’s reaction.  Granted she’d been lurking around in her office, but still Sam didn’t have a reason to snap at her like that.  Things had been working out so well, Brooke didn’t want any of that to change.  Didn’t want anything to slip back to the way it was before.  She’d invested a lot into changing things between her and Sam, and there wasn’t any going back now.  She’d crossed a line that she’d never be able to walk back over.  Then the blonde took in how desperate Sam looked.  How badly she was struggling.  And to say that Sam McPherson wasn’t the most emotionally available girl was a complete understatement.  The brunette tried her best, but sometimes despite her efforts she would still keep things in until she’d be ready to explode.  But Brooke had gotten past the wall somehow.  It had started when they’d finally admitted that they didn’t want to fight anymore.  With a lot of time and effort, things had changed considerably between them and the blonde had learnt the brunette’s looks exceptionally fast.

Closing the small gap between them, Brooke pulled Sam forwards into a tight, comforting embrace.  She felt the reporter respond immediately, leaning into the embrace and latching onto Brooke for all she was worth.  This was good.  A warm, safe embrace.  One Sam was glad for.  She felt herself begin to calm a little, due to the soothing vibes Brooke was giving out.  The cheerleader’s hand ran through soft brown hair gently and slowly as Sam just buried herself into the blonde’s shoulder.

At first to Sam, the fact that Brooke started to be able to read her was worrying.  Being known was a huge step for someone who didn’t endlessly parade around her emotions was somewhat hard.  And she’d been a little surprised on how patient Brooke had actually been.  But the whole experience had been something neither of them would give up.

‘’I just spoke to Harrison because he sent me this email telling me he loved me.  I thought he was joking…but he’s not.  God Brooke, he wound me up so bad.  First he goes and changes the rules, and then he expects me to jump on the bandwagon!  I mean, is he and idiot or something and I’ve just never noticed?  He thinks I’m gunna like him back ‘cos he’s known me forever and to the naked eyes I’m single.  What kind of logic is that?  And further more, he didn’t even get it!  And not once did he ask how I felt.  I didn’t even get a change to utter no.  So I’m a little worked up.  I’m sorry for snapping at you.  You smell nice!  Where’ve you been all morning?  What you doing creeping in my office?’’

Brooke had to strain to catch all of Sam’s rant.  Apparently the brunette had forgotten that she was still buried in the cheerleaders shoulder!  But still, Brooke heard.  She silently let the reporter carry on her ramble, even though she wanted to share her thoughts.  But that could wait.  Sam needed to vent, and after she did her voice took on an apologetic, embarrassed and slightly vunerable tone.  Once she stopped, Brooke pulled the brunette back slightly, lifting up her adorable and ever so slightly pouty face with her hand.  As her glowing green eyes sparkled into Sam’s chocolate ones, she smiled lightly as her free hand brushed one or two rebel dark brown strands of hair back.  Then, still keeping a soft silence, she leant forwards and brushed their lips together lightly.  Then, as Sam responded they both turned it into something deeper and more passionate.

‘’Better?’’

The cheerleader asked slightly out of breath as they pulled apart and came to touch foreheads.  Sam let one hand play with Brooke’s silky hair as the other entwined with the blondes.

‘’Much.’’

Was her simple reply before she kissed Brooke again lightly another couple of times.  Yes, indeed, a considerable amount had changed between them.  They’d both known for a long time how attracted to one another they were.  It was part of the reason they’d fought so much.  The fiery arguments had sparked the passion they felt, just not in the right way.  So it was a good job they’d ended up calling a truce.  Surprisingly Sam had made the first move, and their friendship had flourished.  Into something better.

Sam was being honest when she said to herself her heart was already taken.  For some reason, she was hopelessly addicted to Brooke.  Her beauty was unparalleled.  Her personality held love, creativity, humour, craziness and more endless quirks that the reporter found astounding.  She’d confessed a million things no one would ever hear but Sam.  And it was Sam that got to see the blonde through everything.

‘’Good.  Now, you wanna sit down and talk about it properly?’’

 The cheerleader offered.  Without waiting for a reply Brooke began to lead her girlfriend towards the small but comfy couch at the far side of the room.  Girlfriend.  She loved thinking that.  And saying it too.  So many times she’d laughed, as she’d sweetly order Sam to do something and call her girlfriend, or lover, or honey or baby or any other pet name she could think of.  Sex slave had come into the fold until she earned herself a light slap on the arm with an ushered threat of ‘you’ll never get lucky again if you don’t stop that!’’ attached!  Granted, they had been in bio class at the time!  Brooke had been bored so her obvious target to gain amusement had been the gorgeous journalist sitting besides her!  Was it her fault Sam was so damn distracting?  Sitting there, smelling like she did, looking like she did.  Brooke hadn’t been able to think about anything else.  The class had been about some ant or another that she’d forget about as soon as her assignment was over, so she figured that she’d let her mind think about things she wouldn’t forget about.  Like Sam.  Her dark haired girlfriend that she’d ended up teasing in hushed whispered.  Sam had tried to keep a level of seriousness about her, pretending like she was interested in the class.  However, Brooke hadn’t failed to notice the stupid, lop sided smirk her girlfriend had been unable to hide.  Plus she’d been answering the comments the cheerleader had been dishing out.  All in all, the blonde had figured that Sam had wanted a playful distraction too.  Though, at her mischievous threat it was needless to say that Brooke did indeed knock it off.  Just in case!

‘’Okay.  It all started when I got an email from Harrison.  He told me that he loves me…and he does.  And when I tried to talk to him about it, he just expected me to feel the same.’’

The brunette started slower this time.  She sat close to Brooke, happy to feel the warmth coming from her.  Plain and simply put, she knew they were besotted with one another.  She loved every detail of the blonde, mind, body and soul.  She felt things she’d never felt or ever expected to feel. 

Brooke quashed the urge to let a slightly protective and jealous look over her face, knowing it wouldn’t help Sam right now.  Seeing her so mixed up after talking with Harrison, whom she’d decided to be annoyed with and keep and eye on, was hard enough.  She didn’t want to push the brunette any further.

‘’How so?’’

She asked lightly instead.  Her hand had lifted up to play with Sam’s glorious hair once again, as she let the reporter play with her free hand.

‘’He said because he’s known me for longer than anyone, and better than anyone he’s good for me.  Also, because I’m single and I quote ‘wide open’, then nothing’s stopping me.’’

Sighing, Sam dropped her head onto Brooke’s shoulder.  Now, after most of her anger was drained she had no idea what her next step would be.  She had to be extremely careful about this.  She had three people to think about.  Brooke, Harrison and herself.  And she didn’t want anyone hurt.

‘’Except of course you’re not single and he didn’t consider that your feelings were pointed elsewhere.  Oh say for example me!’’

Brooke planted a soft kiss atop her girlfriend’s head as she began to see the conundrum Sam was in.  She could tell the brunette was a little hurt already.  Most likely due to Harrison being a self-involved idiot.  The guy was great, but sometimes Brooke couldn’t help but think what a fool he was.

‘’That’s right!  Urgh, I don’t wanna talk about him anymore.  Much more interested in you.  Haven’t seen you all day.  Hi!’’

Turning slightly, after pushing Harrison from her mind, Sam leaned into Brooke and kissed her again.  She’d come to find that kissing the blonde was one of her most favourite pastimes.  There was just something about the way Brooke kissed that had her hooked.

‘’Hi!  I’ve been around.  Mainly with Carmen and Mary Cherry, we went to see that counsellor.  Scary!  Anyway, I er…I know you’ve probably had enough confessions for one day, but can I make one more?’’

Brooke’s tone had gone from light to serious and slightly shaky.  This only meant one thing to Sam, Brooke had something on her mind and needed to share.  So the brunette moved slightly to show Brooke she had her up most attention.

‘’Sure Princess, go ahead.’’

After hearing a verbal go ahead, Brooke nodded and cleared her throat.  Nerves swept around her body, threatening to stop her upcoming statement.  But one look at the brunette beauty in front of her was enough inspiration to spur her on.

‘’I was thinking earlier, how short life is and how suddenly it can end.  April Tuna’s tragic demise showed me that.  And then I started thinking about regret after you asked us in the car.  I don’t think I have any Sam.  Especially not with us…’’

Taking a breath as she saw Sam smile brightly at her words she was glad her speech was going so well.  Not that she’d tried to practice it or anything!  But trying to run over her speech in front of the Novak mirrors wasn’t an easy thing with Mary Cherry yabbing in your ear!  So the blonde was just winging it.

‘’And…I wanted to tell you how amazing you are to me Sam.  As a friend, a lover, a confidant and guide.  I don’t know if you know how much of me you have, or how deep you’ve gotten in me.  Sam, I love you.  So, so much.  I’ve known for ages.  But when I first realised was at the clinic.  When the nurse told me a girl had already taken my bag to the car, I thought it was my Dad’s bimbo bitch!  But I came out to find you.  Leaning on the front of your car waiting for me.  And the first thing you did was hug me, and then you kissed me and all I could think was ‘I love her’.  So I do, I love you.  And I couldn’t not say it anymore.’’

Not a second had passed by that either of them broke eye contact.  Chocolate brown eyes mixed with rich green ones, both staring so deep they were startled by the intensity.  Startled, but not scared.

Sam felt like her heart was about to implode.  She felt the stirrings deep inside her soul, the ones that told her she was alive and this was why she was living.  Her head had reached the highest cloud a while back, and she knew her eyes must have glazed over by now.  Brooke was starring at her with such sincerity and love it almost felt like some kind of dream.  But it wasn’t.  Sam was sitting here with the most beautiful and amazing girl in the world.  And said girl was declaring her love to her.  This, she couldn’t help thinking, was like some sappy movie she’d swoon over!  Her breath even told her that much as she fought to keep it under control.  So, as she let her eyes burn a hole into Brooke’s as the blonde waited for a reply anxiously, Sam licked her lips lightly and cleared her throat.

‘’Brooke…I can’t tell you when I started to have feelings about you exactly.  I guess it was just always there until I worked it out properly and I dealt with what it all meant.  But love?’’

The reporter had to try and keep back an evil grin as she saw Brooke begin to panic and squirm slightly.  All the signs told her that the blonde was cursing herself for moving too fast.  That Sam didn’t feel the same way, and might not ever now because she’d just laid it on too thick.  But the stricken expression wore Sam down easily, and she couldn’t play with her girlfriend about this.

‘’I can tell you exactly when I realised that too.  When Harrison was really sick and he’d thrown me outta the hospital room because he was so angry, that was the day I had a huge row with Carmen and Lily.  The day when Nicole threw some of her best at me, and I couldn’t handle it.  And it was the night that I had a huge row with my Mom too.  I was a complete mess.  And you, you just came over and I ripped you to shreds.  You’d hardly said a word to me and I just went off on one.  You didn’t shout at me, you didn’t storm out; you made me let you hug me and you let me cry so much that we had to change your shirt.  I still want my top back by the way!  But on the other hand, it looks better on you, keep it!  Anyway, what I’m saying is you saw me at one of my worst points and you held me so tightly and you told me you’d take care of me.  You made me feel so wanted and special, and that’s when I knew I love you.  So, girlfriend-that-looks-better-in-my-clothes-than-I-do-especially-if-they’re-on-the-bedroom-floor, I love you too!’’

Brooke swore she could have smacked Sam if she wasn’t so brilliantly dazzling.  That good for nothing, okay everything, sneak and underhanded temptress had made her heart leap into her throat with fear and self-anger.  The brunette had intently phrased her words to make it look like she didn’t feel the same, and she was going to pay.  Sometime in the near future, Brooke was going to get her own back.  But right now, she was far too taken away by the nicer words her girlfriend was saying.  And the memory of that night had flooded back to her like yesterday.  It was true Sam was a complete mess, and it was true that she’d yelled and yelled at Brooke as if they were still in their fighting days.  But, indeed she’d taken none of it.  Like Sam said, she’d just pulled her into a hug and rocked her as she’d cried and cried.

Blinking as she came back to reality by the feel of Sam’s hands on either side of her cheeks, bringing her in gently to kiss her.  This one was full of the emotion they’d just put on display.  She didn’t mind that Sam leant into her a little more, making herself lean back more on the couch.  She loved the contact and frankly she craved it.  And all she could think about was the sexiest girl alive was on top of her, kissing her fully, strongly and passionately.

‘’No so really you smell so good!  What is that?  A new let’s-drive-Sam-crazy-cos-she-cant-get-lucky-in-school brand?  Because it’s working!’’

Brooke could only laugh as Sam suddenly started about the smelling good thing again.  The spontaneous comment was said playfully yet seriously, and Brooke could tell Sam meant what she was saying.  And it made her laugh, which in turn made Sam laugh too.  That was until they ended up kissing again.  And that’s exactly how they stayed for the entire of lunch.  And it’s what would make them late to class too!

‘’Sam?  Hey…Samson!’’

Lily smiled as she called out to gain her friends attention as she saw her heading down the hall of the busy, morning halls of Kennedy High.  Sam, as usual lately, was completely on one of her space cadet missions.  Completely gone with the stars.  The brunette had a distant, but sparkling look in her deep, chocolate coloured eyes.  They radiated with something that Lily had never seen in them before, and couldn’t quite work out despite her trying to.  And not only was she radiating a look in those stunning eyes of hers, oh no!  She was oozing out this elusive look, set into her beautiful features.  Written plainly across that silky smooth skin of hers, but never to be worked out.  But did it stop there?  Of course not, this was Sam!  Last but not least, she was glowing.  Almost literally! 

All this radiating, oozing and glowing had completely fascinated, bewildered and scared Lily.  She’d never seen Sam like this, and the brunette journalist would normally talk to her about anything.  If there were something so important on Sam’s mind like there so obviously was, she’d have usually spilled it by now.  And the only reason Lily hadn’t pinned her against a wall and beaten the information out of her yet was because she seemed to be so damned happy.  So, she figured that whatever it may be, it was good and Sam would tell her in her own time.  Meanwhile, it didn’t hurt to try investigating some!

‘’Lily!  Hey…sorry.  Got caught in a world of my own there!’’

Sam smiled and waved foolishly towards her friend and then began to weave in and out of the passing students artfully to try get to the other side of the hall.  This was a dangerous job in itself.  Leaping and swerving the other students was a job of work.  Especially when you had to dive past groups of girls, or a small group of jocks.  Still, Sam made it in one piece, smiling brightly at her friend as she came to a stand.

‘’Ah, the world of Samson the Mighty!  And what devilish plots and uncovers are going on in that head of yours this good morning?’’

Sam chuckled lightly at the smaller brunette as she shook her head.  If Lily only knew what was going on inside her head indeed.  Devilish may be a word that could be used, but there’d be plenty more too.  But Sam didn’t want Lily to start spewing profanity left right and centre in the middle of the hall, so she decided to curve the smirk that was about to land onto her face any second and go with the light banter.

‘’There are a couple of things on the go.  Samson the Mighty may be looking at a big score in the paper any day now.  Watch this space!’’

Giving instead her friend a cryptic yet optimistic and enthusiastic smile and look, she laughed as Lily high fived her.  The animal activist grinned widely with an impressed glint in her eyes.  That meant that Sam was finishing off some kind of masterpiece.  Which she thought, could be put down to the different land she’d been visiting recently.  When the brunette concentrated on something news related, it had her undivided. 

‘’A woo and a hoo for Miss McPherson!  Listen, are you headed to English right now?’’

Sam nodded as she frowned a little, wondering why Lily was even asking.  She knew she was headed to English because she took it with her.  But she nodded anyway, as she pushed a rebel strand of brown hair back into its original place behind her ear.  She wasn’t intent on keeping an image, unlike certain people at this school…mentioning no names Nicole…but the strand had started to bug her some.  But, she did look good today.  Dawned in a long, red form fitting skirt along with a purple and red v-neck top with elbow length sleeves, she looked striking.  She suited her own style, even if the elitist trendsetters from the popular ranks did blast her for it.  And Sam used trendsetters in a very loose term of the word.

‘’Great.  I have a few errands to do, could you make my apologies?’’

Lily wondered pleadingly.  Sam nodded once again, assuming that Lily was on yet another quest.  This one possibly something to do with April Tuna.  Or perhaps her significant others hair.  What had Josh been thinking?  That was a question that many people were probably thinking to themselves.  Lily was a brave girl indeed.  Though, Sam couldn’t help but smirk to herself at that.  If Lily was brave for dating a popular guy, who currently needed a good hair cut, then what was she?  Dating the most popular girl in school who was drooled over and admired from afar?  The Audrey Hepburn of Kennedy High!  And the buzz Sam got from knowing she was the only one Brooke looked at with those intense, green eyes over everyone else, well it was overwhelming.

‘’Sam?  You okay in there?’’

Lily smirked as she waved her hand in front of Sam’s face, trying to get her friend to come back to reality again.  There it was, that sparkle in the eyes.  The radiating, oozing and glowing.  Sam never seemed to stop, but when she went off into her own little world she seemed to do it even more.  Lily couldn’t say that it was a bad thing.  The fact was, she’d never seen Sam so happy in herself.  She’d never seen her…float before.  Of course, Sam was a happy person most of the time.  Self assured, confident, smart and unique.  They were all qualities Lily admired in her friend.  Even when Nicole threw her best at her, Sam seemed to just rise to the challenge then walk away mostly unaffected.  Of course she had her bad days, her dark side and every now and again she could be the most irritating girl in the land!  But everyone had those kinds of days.  It was all part of life, Lily understood that.  But the fact that Sam seemed so high that she’d never hit the floor again intrigued her enough to decide to ask about it.

‘’Sorry Lil!  Of course I will.’’

Sam shook herself out of her Brooke appreciating daze quickly, realising that Lily was staring at her with fascination.  She had to stop doing this in front of her.  Otherwise, she would end up getting busted.  Not that telling Lily would be an extremely bad thing.  Just that so far, neither she nor Brooke had told anyone other than Carmen and George.  And even that had been an accident.  The new couple of the school had decided to surprise Brooke with some chicken soup after she’d declined to go to the movies because she had the ‘flu’.  And the pair had thought, since her Dad had been out of town on business they’d go check up on her.  Trust Sam to open the door.  Wearing not so much.  Brooke hadn’t heard the door, and had come through the house asking Sam a question that had ended in ‘baby’.  Oh they were so sprung it was shocking!

Since then, they’d made Carmen and George swear not to tell anyone.  All they wanted to do was live in their own little bubble.  Undisturbed by anyone at school.  They knew that eventually, it would pop.  That someone would find out sooner or later.  But for now, all they wanted to do was enjoy dating in private.  With the exception of one other person.  Jane.  The one person Sam hadn’t been able to lie to.  The truth was, her Mother had known about Sam’s sexual orientation since she was fifteen.  Sam had come clean about her confusing feelings, because she hadn’t been able to handle it on her own and the obvious person to tell, that she could tell anything to, was Jane.  And being the kind of person and Mother Jane was, she supported her daughter.  She was proud of her daughter.  And when Sam had told her that she’d started to date Brooke, she’d been happy for them.  Of course, she’d seen that coming from a mile off.  That’s what Mother’s did!

‘’Okay, what is it?  Sex, drugs or rock and roll?’’

 Lily demanded as she crossed her arms suspiciously.  She watched her friend drop her jaw slightly, squirming on the spot as she tried to think of something to say.  Now Lily really knew there was something.  And it only gave her extra fuel to find out.  She just watched the reporter struggle in amusement, raising an eyebrow in silent challenge.

‘’W…I…L…Huh?  What’re…what’re you talking about?’’

Sam stuttered as her mouth tried to catch up with her mind.  Which was telling her to act cool and just shrug it off.  But no, she couldn’t do that could she?  She had to look so damn guilty and sound even guiltier.  Maybe it was because she didn’t want to lie to Lily.  She’d understand right?  It was Lily.  But that’s what had stopped her in the first place.  Lily had been having a hard time adjusting to Brooke being friends with everyone.  Granted, it had gotten a lot better.  But what if suddenly finding out that Brooke was a little more than a friend to her sent her spinning?  Into that of a lack of friendship?  That was Sam’s underlining fear of telling Lily; otherwise she would have done it in a heartbeat.  She knew that her friends wouldn’t leak out any personal information even if they were tortured by Satan herself.  It was Brooke that had the real problem in that department.

‘’Sam, c’mon.  You’ve been walking around with you’re head in the stars lately.  Anything you want to tell me?’’

The smaller brunette demanded lightly.  She couldn’t help but still smile.  This was brilliant.  She had Sam in an unusual position.  Lost for words, guilty and squirming.  Oh how the tables turned.  If she was seeing someone, or crushing on someone, she’d be happy for the girl.  Lily hated to admit it, but she felt sorry for Sam in the romance department.  Out of the three girls of their circle, Sam was the only one without a boyfriend.  At one point, she believed something would happen with her and Harrison.  It was obvious that Harrison loved her.  And Lily knew that on some level, Sam had always known that.  But she just didn’t seem interested.  So who else could there be?  And, as she thought about that, Lily realised that it must be someone who was at least able to return her feelings.  Or already was.  Because otherwise, she would be moping for crushing on someone she couldn’t have. 

Lily grinned wider at her realisation.  She seriously had this detective stuff down.  She knew Sam wasn’t foolish enough to be into drugs.  Like that was even a notion to think of.  Rock and roll?  Sam loved rock and roll.  She was a girl of a vast taste in music.  Many a time she’d been sprung thrashing about her room, rocking on an invisible guitar, or singing into a pretend microphone.  That was simply Sam.  So no way she was so happy because of that, otherwise she would have changed.  No, it was definitely someone.

‘’Of course not.  No.  Not at all.  Don’t be silly; I’m just happy is all.  And I’m going to class now…bye!’’

The brunette editor squeaked, tried clearing her throat but ended up squeaking again.  Talk about giving herself away.  So brushing off Lily’s questioning glance, she began to back up.  It was the only thing she could think to do.  Back up and run for the safety of English class.  Where there’d be Brooke.  Brooke was good.  She’d settle down with Brooke there.

This had been a very odd day she’d decided.  And it had started with such a pleasant sight.  Brooke.  The cheerleader was pretty much living at her house for the next two weeks.  Jane was off on some business trip, again.  Sam really didn’t mind.  She knew her Mom loved her work, and she knew she was trusted with staying at home by herself.  But Jane had agreed that Brooke could stay for the duration of her absence if it was okay with Mike.  She wasn’t too keen on the idea of Sam being home all alone for the whole two weeks.  Plus, she thought the gesture would be a significant one to Sam.  Telling her that she trusted her and loved her enough to let her make her own decisions.  And the gesture had been greatly appreciated.  So Sam had woken up with Brooke, and she’d never realised before just how special that was to her.  Going to sleep and waking up next to her.  Now she understood why everyone said that.  In the movies, on TV…she’d thought it was stupid.  How such a little thing could be so special.  But now she understood.

Then, Brooke had gone to cheerleading practice.  Only to call Sam on her mobile phone when Mary Cherry had crashed her car.  Typical.  So, that’s how they’d all ended up in the car together this morning.  Lily had been giving Sam a ride into school because she’d wanted her to see how cool her car was!  And it’d been fun.  It had been nice because all the walls had been dropped.  Even with Mary Cherry.  The crazy, southern blonde had slowly been taking after Brooke’s lead of becoming friends with them.  Much to Nicole’s obvious distress but who cared about that?

But then driving past that crashed car, only to find it was April’s, that’s where the oddness of the day had truly started.  The sudden realisation of the shortness of life had been drummed into them.  The realisation that they were guilty of brushing off April and her friends.  It had come crashing down.  And that had brought a rush of emotions of their own up to the surface.  Like Harrison’s.  And Brooke’s.  Both had been spurred to admit to Sam that they loved her.  And now this.

‘’Bye!’’

Lily waved as Sam made her excuses and almost flat out ran down the hall.  Shaking her head as she chuckled lightly, she turned slightly to see Harrison and Carmen walking up to her.  Harrison’s eyes were following Sam as she’d left, a confused look within them at her sudden disappearance. 

‘’What’s going on?’’

He wondered lightly, finally looking towards Lily with a raised eyebrow.  Carmen just smiled lightly, shaking her head just like Lily had.  She knew what was going on.  And frankly she wished she’d hurry up and tell the other two.  She knew she was scared of loosing them because of it, but it was just Lily and Harrison.  What would they do?  Shout that it was a disease and run away?  Of course not!

‘’She is so seeing someone!’’

Lily divulged with a knowing look and tone.  She almost felt like strumming her hands together and doing a cheesy evil laugh like Mr Burns.  But she resisted the urge.  Her friends already thought she was crazy enough.  However, she did gain their full attention.  Jaws dropped, eyes wide, both stepped back slightly.

‘’What?’’

Came their chorused reply.  The pair looked at one another briefly, and then paid their attention back to Lily.  She viewed them each in turn.  First Harrison, as he was nearer.  He looked…well he looked completely deflated.  This was unsurprising, given his ‘secret’ feelings towards her.  But there was something else.  Something she couldn’t pin point.  As if his eyes were shining in sudden realisation and that realisation was upsetting. 

Carmen however, looked startled and alarmed.  Almost nervous.  Her usually warm, kind eyes turned into that of surprise and fear.  And in Carmen, that only meant one thing.  And that was she knew something.  She knew something she wasn’t supposed to tell and that’s why she began to look so nervous.

‘’Don’t be absurd!  She’s just…’’

The cheerleading brunette began to squeak, much like the girl in question herself had.  But she was only to be cut off by Harrison, who held up a hand to silence her in her sentence.  He’d been staring numbly at the floor for a moment, but now he looked back up and between the two of them.

‘’No, Lily’s right.  She got all defensive about being single earlier.  Like she was hiding something about it.  I think she might be seeing someone too.  Any idea on who it is?’’

The token male of the group wondered of them.  Lily shook her head, shrugging with a sigh.  Not yet she didn’t.  But she was glad that Harrison agreed with her.  She was still a little bit suspicious of Carmen though.  Her friend was just too ancy to not know anything about this.

‘’No, but I’m working on it.  Why would she hide it from us anyway?  We’re her friend’s right?’’

She asked softly.  Why indeed?  She’d ask Sam that when the time came. Till then, they needed to find out the truth.

‘’Guys, c’mon.  Leave her alone, it’s just Sam.’’

Carmen ordered pointedly.  Shooting them a warning look, she didn’t give in until they nodded in agreement.  Lily actually holding up her hands in surrender under the scrutinising gaze.  Maybe Carmen was right.  Maybe Sam was just being Sam.  She was confused now.  So, as Carmen broke off to go to class with Harrison in tow, she slipped off to go do her errands.

‘’Omelette sound okay to you?’’

Brooke asked lightly, already opening the fridge to inspect what was on offer.  They only had a limited time before they had to be on their way to April Tuna’s memorial, and Sam was a lot more ready than she was.  The brunette, being home earlier, had already gotten showered and changed for the event.  She looked adorable.  Suited her dark, smart clothes and the crinkled hair.  Then again, when didn’t Brooke think that?

‘’Yeah…whatever…’’

The brunette replied distractedly.  She came up to stand close behind Brooke, nervous chocolate eyes looking at her intently.  She pulled at the sleeves of her top anxiously, wondering how Brooke could be so calm. 

‘’What am I gunna say to Harrison?  Or Lily for that matter.  I hate lying to her in the first place but she’s making me nervous routing around and asking questions.’’

She continued her babble fest about her friends.  Brooke really didn’t mind listening.  She was happy to listen.  But after hearing the tale four times over in the past forty minutes from Sam was so enough.  She understood her girlfriend’s anticipation, she felt it herself.  They were close to being busted.  And seeing as Harrison was utterly head over heals for Sam, she wondered if he would react badly enough to let cat out of the bag to everyone in school after he found out the truth.  And recently, she’d been thinking a lot about that issue.  The whole school knowing that she, Brooke McQueen, was dating Sam.  Did she care?  Would it affect them?  Would it affect her?  She wasn’t exactly sure if her image was so important to her anymore.  Being friends with Sam had been liberating.  She felt better within herself being friends with someone who wouldn’t turn around and stab you in the back to gain your title.  And dating Sam had been even more liberating.  She’d found that having this kind of friendship and relationship had done wonders for her self esteem.  Sam loved the way she looked, with or without any make up.  Sam loved the way she looked without her having to starve herself nearly to death.  In fact, Brooke had realised that after coming out of the clinic and as she’d been eating properly Sam had told her even more how sexy she was.  So Brooke was getting a handle on that.  Being nervous at first about putting a little bit of weight on, even though she was still slender, but then her fears had died down because Sam hadn’t walked away from her.  So her image of herself was being put back into place.  And Sam listened to her.  She listened and remembered all the stupid, little things Brooke could think of to say.  She listened to her fears, her memories of when her Mother left, her left over pain of that.  And she listened to her happy memories, her dreams and expectations and her fantasies of life.  Something which her current friends just never did.  It made her feel special and wanted.  So she began to gain more confidence.  Again because of Sam.  So did it really matter than she kept up the perfect ‘All American Girl’ act at school?  Did it really matter that the head cheerleader was dating a girl?  And did she really care about the opinion of anyone else?  There’d be people who just wouldn’t care, there’d be people who’d be okay and there’d be people who wouldn’t be.  That was going to happen for the rest of her life.  And the blonde had begun to think about how she couldn’t just live her life in secrecy just because of other people.  She’d done that too much so far.  Lived for everyone but herself.

‘’Are you actually listening to me?’’

Sam demanded, stamping her foot lightly as she pouted rather pathetically.  Brooke laughed lightly as she stood up properly, and turned ever so slightly to face the brunette.  She really was adorable when she got all pouty.  And she probably would’ve been doing the same in Sam’s position.

‘’Yes, I’m listening to you Sam!’’

The cheerleader responded affectionately.  Leaning forwards, she planted a soft kiss on Sam’s lips.  The reporter still frowned slightly, but accepted it.  Then, she watched as Brooke turned back to the fridge and start pulling out ingredients.

‘’Okay, so what should I tell them then?’’

Sam wondered again watching Brooke try to balance everything.  Stepping in, she took some of the items, including some water that she had to stuff in her mouth.  Brooke just laughed lightly and she turned away and they shut the fridge with their feet.  Then, making the short distance over to the counter they dumped the stuff.

Brooke took in a breath and let it out again decisively, brushing her rebel blonde streaks out the way of her face.  She looked at Sam with a smile and a glint in her eyes that Sam hadn’t really seen before.

‘’How about the truth?’’

She suggested sweetly.  Sam just looked at her for a moment, wondering if she’d actually suggested it.  Brooke herself had never been too vocal on the coming out issue.  The blonde was happy with their current situation.  She enjoyed having the freedom to just get along in their relationship without any obstacles.  Sam understood that.  Her girlfriend had the most to loose here.  But she knew that Brooke wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed about her or their relationship.  That much, they had talked about.

‘’The truth?  Like ‘Lily you’re right I’m seeing someone and it’s Brooke.’ Or ‘Harrison, I can’t return your feelings because I’m gay and I’m going out with the only other girl you’ve ever displayed affections for.’  That truth?’’

Sam just had to be exactly sure of what Brooke was saying here.  The whole truth.  Which she actually hadn’t thought of until now.  She’d just breezed over that thought in her mind, assuming that they were still playing the secret game.  She’d wondered what Brooke had been thinking about lately.  So this must have been it.  She knew the blonde was having a serious change in feelings.  About herself, about the world, about school.  Maybe Brooke had come to the conclusion that being popular wasn’t the most important thing in life?

‘’Yes, that truth!’’

The cheerleader agreed as she began to unscrew the bottle of water she’d picked up.  Again Sam gazed at her for a moment, thinking about it.  She gave her a little credit, because it wasn’t like she’d been expecting it.  Brooke hadn’t eased the conversation around to it; she’d just dumped it onto her. 

‘’Are you ready for that?’’

The reporter asked softly.  Though the tone behind her voice was that of the highest seriousness.  She wasn’t stupid, she knew that if they set off the rolling ball then everything could change rather quickly.  And thus far they hadn’t wanted to change anything.

‘’Well, it’s just Lily and Harrison.  But if you’re asking about the bigger picture…yeah I think I’d be ready for that.  I’m with you, and I don’t care who knows.  Because I’m finally done with living up to other people’s expectations.  I want to live up to my own expectations and values.  I’d like to be a police officer or a paramedic; I think war shouldn’t be an option.  I think our country should be making a greater effort to help others.  I don’t believe in capital punishment, and I’d like to learn how to play the drums.  Those are my expectations and values.  I’d also like to be free to be with who I wanna be with.  So I am.  I’m making it that simple.  So no, I don’t care who knows about us because at the end of the day, I like being your girlfriend.  I want to be your girlfriend.’’

Brooke really had thought about this, in a big way.  Sam was a little shocked, but not in a bad way.  It could never be in a bad way when someone said that to you.  She was proud of the cheerleader.  Not all that long ago Brooke would never have even thought about admitting that.  She wouldn’t really have let herself think many things.  But now?  She wasn’t as scared to be herself.  So how could Sam deny her that?  And when Brooke had put it like that, Sam knew she felt the same.

‘’A girlfriend with brains and beauty.  Lucky me.’’

Smiling brightly, she conveyed to Brooke through her eyes that she agreed.  Brooke just smiled back and prodded Sam in the side getting a little squeal from her.  Oh the fun with ticklish spots.  Brooke knew every spot she could get Sam with and always used that knowledge to her advantage.  But she couldn’t help but accept Sam’s offered hug rather than torturing her with a tickle fest.  She’d prefer a hug right now.

‘’Hey, what’s this about being a police officer?  No, no…bad Brooke.  Far too dangerous!  No!’’

Sam realised what Brooke had just said.  She’d known nothing about it and she didn’t really love the sound of it.  Brooke, a uniform and handcuffs sounded okay.  Just not the gun, danger and quality times with scum part.  She didn’t want her girlfriend running around the streets of California chasing bad guys or worse, being chased by them.  That was just unacceptable.

Brooke leaned back and shook her head as she placed her hands on each side of Sam’s face.  She really didn’t want to talk about this now.  Even though Sam opened her mouth to say something else about it.  So Brooke did the only thing she could think of to stop her talking, she kissed her.

‘’Oh…’’

Sam hadn’t actually seen Harrison heading for the memorial at the same time as her.  She’d been too busy looking around, and making sure she looked okay.  The fact of the matter was she hated things like these.  She hated memorials, or wakes or funerals.  They were a horrible and painful memory of the one funeral she wished she’d never had to attend.  Her Father’s.  She remembered every single detail like it was just this morning even though she’d been young.  So she’d been a little distracted on her way in here.  And that’s what had caused her to bump into Harrison.

‘’Hi…err…’’

Like Sam hadn’t seen Harrison, Harrison hadn’t seen Sam.  And he seemed genuinely startled because he’d startled her.  And seeing her obvious discomfort, he wasn’t quite sure what to say.  This was the first time he’d seen her since she’d walked out of the cafeteria.  And even though he’d done nothing but think about every detail of that incident since then, he had no idea how to approach it yet.  He hadn’t planned on anything.

‘’Hi…hi…’’

And so it seemed neither had Sam.  It seemed evident to him that she was struggling at being here.  Of course she would be.  Her Dad’s catastrophic demise had altered her world forever.  And he knew for a fact that she was still spinning from that, and probably always would be.  However much she denied it, he knew that she thought of him more than she’d ever admit to anyone.  See, he really did know her.  Who else could boast they saw that in her?  Who else knew her that insightfully and could offer loving arms for her to cry in?

‘’Hi.  Okay, you first.  Still mad at me?’’

The dough-eyed boy wondered nervously.  He looked down on her hopefully, his anxiety pooling up into his chest where it caught his breath ever so slightly.  He didn’t mean to do this here, it was inappropriate.  But he couldn’t help it.  He needed to know.  And he needed things to be sorted out with her.  This was Sam he was dealing with, someone he needed to be honest with and he needed the same honesty from her too.

‘’I was never really angry…I was just a little…’’

Running a hand through the front of her hair to push it back, Sam let her eyes roll around the room and then back up to Harrison as she began to speak.  It was true.  She wasn’t angry anymore.  How could she expect Harrison to control his feelings?  It wasn’t his fault.  She knew out of personal experience that feelings couldn’t be controlled or changed.  So if he loved her, he loved her.  She just wouldn’t accept his naivety about her abundant lack of feelings for him.

‘’Shocked?’’

He suggested helpfully.  There he went again.  Getting a little too enthusiastic for Sam’s taste.  It was sort of sweet, in a pathetic kind of way.  Of course she couldn’t help but feel a little flattered.  But with flattery came the feeling of being smothered.  That was Harrison’s problem.  He was so excited about it that he was smothering her with it.  But again, she didn’t think that was his fault.

‘’Yeah.’’

Finding herself unable to do anything else but agree, she nodded.  Shocked?  That was a mighty fine word to what she felt.  Scared would be another one.

‘’Look Sam, I don’t wanna sell you on how to feel.  But I think if you’d just give us a chance that it could work.  I think we have a great relationship.’’

Harrison couldn’t help it.  Standing here, in front of her he’d feel like he’d fail if he didn’t try his best.  And maybe that’s what she needed?  For him to prove to her that he truly wanted this, that it wasn’t just some superficial crush?

‘’Harrison, we’re best friends.’’

The brunette exasperated as she flailed her hand softly.  Sighing again, she rolled her tongue over her lips as she cast another nervous glance into the memorial.  She really didn’t love where she was right now.  In the doorway of a dead girl’s memorial, in front of someone she could never love, and looking at the one person she did love who was already sat down.  This was not a hot situation.

‘’We can be more than that.  I need an answer Sam.  So do you.  We can’t just have this hanging out there.  I don’t wanna pressure you but after the memorial I’d like to know where you think this is going.  And whether you accept my offer…to erm…be together.’’

Feeling like she was about to pass out any second, Sam just nodded as she let her hand sneak up to rub her neck.  This was so not the time to tell him.  So all she could do was accept what he’d said.  At least it gave her some time to think about how to break it to him.  Until then, as she stepped into the room with a serious light-headedness she plonked herself next to George.  He turned to smile at her warmly, offering a hand out towards her.  Maybe Harrison wasn’t the only one who’d worked out why she was uncomfortable about this? 

Sam took his hand gratefully and turned back to the front.  Brooke and Carmen had both turned around, each looking concerned.  Smiling at them with a reassuring nod, they turned back too and that’s when all the confusing fun began!

It had started as fooling around.  Just a little joke to lighten the mood after they’d gotten home from the not quite so memorial memorial.  The situation put before the two girls was playing over their minds, and both of them could tell.  Sam had been almost silent on the drive back home, and Brooke had made pointless chit chat about things that Sam didn’t even understand. 

The brunette couldn’t help but think about the predicament she was in with Harrison.  He’d given her his ultimatum and now she had to think of some way to tactfully do this.  And tell Lily at the same time.  It could start there.  But she knew whatever happened, Harrison was going to get hurt.  More so than he was expecting.  She regretted that, but she couldn’t help it.  She loved Brooke.  And she knew she was completely settled with Brooke.  Her Mother was supportive of their relationship and so at least were Carmen and George.  Whatever happened, she was sure of her feelings and felt the relief of having at least two of her friends and most of all her Mother behind her.

The blonde couldn’t help but try to think of some easy way for Sam to do this so she didn’t have to go through the obvious struggle she was in.  She couldn’t help but being mad at Harrison.  Not only for putting her girl under this kind of pressure, but also for trying to steal her.  The rational side of Brooke’s mind kept telling her that Harrison didn’t even know he was stepping on her toes, but then again she was an irrational cheerleader.  Plus, she’d gotten to know Harrison well enough lately to know that he was going to react badly.  And that wasn’t taking into a count how he’d acted with his own Mother.  No, he was going to be crushed and the only way he’d be able to express it would be to blow up.  So the blonde was expecting to be outed.  The problem was, she needed to figure out a way to tell at least Nicole and Mary Cherry before that happened so they didn’t have a chance to try and kill Sam.  Also, serious thoughts of having to sit her Dad down and tell him all that had been going on were flitting through her somewhere.  All in all, it was rather scary.  But like she’d said to Sam earlier, she was done living for everyone else.  She wanted to be and liked being Sam’s girlfriend and that was the end of it.  College wasn’t so far off the horizon, and soon enough they would be able to lead their own lives in peace from anyone else.

So all this serious thought had broke Sam first.  The brunette reporter had rolled her eyes and sighed, pushing the thoughts from her head after getting sick of them.  And she couldn’t stand the look on Brooke’s face for much longer either.  So, as usual she’d made some dumbass comment about something or other.  She couldn’t even remember now.  But it had caused a reaction from Brooke.  As a prod to the side.  That one prod had snowballed into a fully-fledged tickle fest/pillow fight.  Squealing, running, prodding and pillow hitting had ensued!  Stopping only for a couple of seconds for Sam to hit play on the CD player.  If anyone could have seen them then, they would’ve thought they were just a couple of silly girly school kids!

Now?  They didn’t look quite so innocent anymore.  Since the mutual attack had led them all around the house, Sam had slipped out of Brooke’s view and managed to sneak outside.  It had taken the cheerleader all of two minutes to catch up and the fun had poured outside.  Holding up a hand as she bent over with laughter, Sam stopped the insanity, if only for the purpose of taking it to another level.  Plus she may have gone running most mornings, but the sudden burst of giddiness was catching on her.  So she stopped the proceedings.

‘’Awww, does Sammy need a rest?’’

Brooke teased as she laughed; ever so slightly glad they’d stopped too.  She made her way over to Sam and caught the hand she’d raised in surrender in her own and gently pulled her to stand up properly.  Inching a little closer, Brooke had them standing mere inches apart.

‘’No actually, not at all.  Sammy just wanted a kiss!’’

Sam responded raising an eyebrow at the effectiveness of her cunning plan.  Brooke thought about withholding the request due to the sneaky and underhanded way she’d been played, then thought better of it.  Who was she to turn down her dark beauty?  So she complied and leant forwards to place a tender kiss on Sam’s lips.

‘’Sammy also wanted a hug!’’

Sam whispered, head reeling a little bit from how soft the blonde had just been with her.  Brooke brushed some dark locks back with a smile, before leaning in and wrapping her arms around Sam.  She didn’t know how to describe the feeling of holding Sam really.  Apart that it was so safe, and electric.  Sam gave the best hugs ever, but she probably thought that because Sam hugged her differently than anyone else.  Like a girlfriend would. 

‘’Sammy also just wanted to see you get wet!’’

Brooke should have realised the look in the reporter’s eyes before.  But suddenly it was all far too late.  With rather well hidden strength, Brooke was turned around quickly.  She didn’t even try to stop herself from falling into the pool.  But she couldn’t help but smile inwardly as she kept a good hold of Sam.  If she was going in, she wasn’t going in alone!

So that’s how it had started.  A let loose from their serious thinking had landed them into the pool.  Not that either one of them particularly minded.  Even Sam who was in her own clothes rather than the Glamazons uniform.  All she wanted to do was let off steam and standing in the cool water with a very wet and gorgeous Brooke was a good way to do that.  Especially when she was standing and making out with a very wet and gorgeous Brooke.  She didn’t know how long this had been going on now.  Time had been lost and all she knew was she had her back to the pool wall, with Brooke pressing into her comfortably and they were going for it better than they ever had.  And they made out a lot.

‘’I think when you go for over 20 minutes without air it’s a little unnatural don’t you?’’

Brooke all but screamed as she jumped apart from Sam.  Slapping a hand over her chest as she tried to control both her breathing and her heart, she looked up at Sam.  The brunette was frozen for the moment, dark eyes focused souly on her with a ‘this is not happening’ expression covering her paling features. So Brooke looked instead. 

‘’L…Lily…Josh…I…we…oh my god!’’

Really the cheerleader couldn’t think of anything to say apart from that.  Biting her lip slightly, she looked down at the water like it had become the most interesting thing on earth.  This wasn’t the plan.  The plan had been…well they hadn’t formed one yet but she was guessing if there had been a plan, it wouldn’t include Lily and Josh discovering their secret like this.  What were they doing here anyway?  Walking into Sam’s house like they lived here?  Or, it could have possibly been that they were too distracted to notice.  Or the fact that the music would have prevented them from hearing the knocking. 

‘’Sam?  Can I talk to you inside please?  Alone?’’

Glaring icily towards Brooke as she made sure she punctuated the alone part, Lily crossed her arms.  Gulping slightly, Sam looked at her for the first time.  She was in so much trouble.  Getting that death glare from Lily was never a good thing.  And she knew she didn’t have a choice now.  So, slipping away from Brooke she pulled herself out of the pool only to get a large towel thrown at her.  Oh this was going to be so much fun!

Inside conversation 1!

Lily

‘’I don’t even know what to say Sam.  I’m assuming that she wasn’t just attacking you out there?’’

Sam

‘’That’d be a good assumption.’’

Lily

‘’I came over to make sure you were okay.  You looked upset at the memorial, I figured that it had something to do with your Dad.’’

Sam

‘’I was and it did…’’ 

Lily

‘’It really looked like you were upset Sam.  And oh, you have nothing to tell me right?  You lied to me.  You actually stood there to my face and said there was nothing going on.  So imagine my surprise when I walk in to find you with her.  We even had enough time to get you towels because you didn’t seem to come up for air.’’

Sam

‘’Lily you have no idea how sorry I am.  And the only reason I lied to you was because I panicked.  I’ve wanted to tell you so many times, and we talked about it and we had decided to tell you the truth.  But with everything that happened I just didn’t get the chance.  I didn’t want it to happen this way I swear.’’

Lily

‘’God I am so pissed at you right now Sam.  Why didn’t you just trust me with this?’’

Sam

‘’I wanted to.  I really did.  But you never gave me a reason okay?  I know you; I know you would’ve been fine with the gay thing.  But the Brooke thing?  Lily, you’re attitude towards her is like trying to predict a pregnant woman’s moods.  Sometimes you like her, sometimes you don’t.  How was I supposed to tell you that I’m dating someone you seem to hate?’’

Lily

‘’You still should’ve said something.’’

Sam

‘’Yeah well I thought I would loose you just like I’m loosing Harrison.  Cut me some slack here okay?  I was scared that you would hate me for it too.  That I was some kinda traitor or something.’’

Lily

‘’Harrison knows about this?’’

Sam

‘’No…no that’s a longer story…’’

Lily

‘’Sam you’re my best friend and I love you.  Of course I’m not gunna fall out with you over this much less hate you.  And I don’t hate Brooke either.  I could just never work her out that’s all.  I thought she was still after Josh or something.’’

Sam

‘’Ya well…no problem there!’’

Lily

‘’No I guess not.  How long has this been going on?’’

Sam

‘’Remember George’s first day?  With all the taboo stuff going on, we sorta asked each other out then.’’

Lily

‘’Sam that’s almost all year.  How could you have kept it a secret for so long?’’

Sam

‘’I don’t know.  I really don’t.  I guess we were on some kind of rollercoaster ride!  I just wanted things to be set between us before we told anyone, and before I knew it we were here.’’

Lily

‘’Who else knows?’’

Sam

‘’My Mom.  She knows everything and she’s great as usual.  Besides her just Carmen and George.  And before you get all indignant, it was an accident.  I got caught red handed at Brooke’s in a very compromising lack of clothes!’’

Lily

‘’How far has this all gone?’’

Sam

‘’Are you asking if we’ve slept together?’’

Lily

‘’As crude as it may seem, yes I am.  I don’t know why I just…I need to be secure about what’s going on here.  I need to know that this is good for you.  That she’s good for you and what your relationship is like.’’

Sam

‘’Then I’ll answer anything you can ask.’’

Lily

‘’Are you still a virgin?’’

Sam

‘’Not by a long shot!’’

Lily

‘’Does she know you?’’

Sam

‘’She got me to open up about stuff not even my Mom can touch anymore.’’

Lily

‘’Do you know her?’’

Sam

‘’Let’s just say I could write a book if I hadn’t promised to take the secrets to the grave.’’

Lily

‘’Are you happy?’’

Sam

‘’Extremely.’’

Lily

‘’Is it love?’’

Sam

‘’Yes, it is.’’

Lily

‘’You told each other that?’’

Sam

‘’Yes.’’

Lily

‘’Who said it first?’’

Sam

‘’Brooke did.’’

Lily

‘’I’m really happy for you Sam.’’

Sam

‘’Really?’’

Lily

‘’Yes really!  It’s a shock but hey, I’ll get over it.  As long as your happy.’’

Sam

‘’You have no idea what that means to me.’’

Lily

‘’You think I could have a word with Brooke?’’

Sam

‘’Lily…’’

Lily

‘’I just feel like I owe her an apology that’s all.  Nothing bad.’’

Sam

‘’Okay, I’ll go get her.’’

Outside conversation 1!

Josh

‘’Well…’’

Brooke

‘’Yeah…’’

Josh

‘’So Sam?’’

Brooke

‘’Yeah…me and Sam.’’

Josh

‘’Good choice!’’

Brooke

‘’I thought so.’’

Josh

‘’She treat you good?’’

Brooke

‘’Like a queen.’’

Josh

‘’That’s all right then.’’

Brooke

‘’You okay with this?’’

Josh

‘’Sure.’’

Brooke

‘’Cool.’’

Josh

‘’How long?’’

Brooke

‘’Start of the year.’’

Josh

‘’Happy?’’

Brooke

‘’Very.’’

Josh

‘’Cool.’’

Brooke

‘’Yeah!’’

Inside conversation 2!

Brooke

‘’Hey.’’

Lily

‘’Hey…’’

Brooke

‘’So…’’

Lily

‘’I think I have an apology to make to you.  Whereas I’ve never gone so far as to hate you Brooke, I made assumptions and was suspicious of you.  I guess I felt a little threatened even though I knew that wasn’t your intent.  You’re just a little hard for me to work out.  So I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable or anything.  But I do like you.  I guess we just have to make an effort to build on that.  Especially me.’’

Brooke

‘’Lily it’s not just your fault.  I can understand your suspicions and I’m sorry if I ever gave you reason to feel threatened.  It’s not like I gave you any explanation about myself or why I wanted to be friends with you guys.  And it wasn’t just because of Sam.  I felt like we were at war for no reason.  That we could all get along perfectly well.  I knew that would probably take time.’’

Lily

‘’If it helps, I think you’re good for her.’’

Brooke

‘’You do?’’

Lily

‘’I’ve been trying to figure out what’s been putting that extra glow in her lately.  And I mean serious radiance has been going on.  Bounce in her step, colour in her cheeks, glow in her eyes…you know all that happy stuff!  And now I get that it’s you.’’

Brooke

‘’I promise you Lily, I’m not gunna do anything to hurt her.  I love her.  She’s pretty much rocked my world!’’

Lily

‘’Sounds like Sam.  It’s not like I can blame you.’’

Brooke

‘’I’d really like it if we could be friends.’’

Lily

‘’Me too.  You fancy starting by giving me a hug?  I mean, I’m already wet from the last one so what can another hurt?’’

Brooke

‘’Sure!’’

Lily

‘’Brooke, I feel it’s my duty to say this.  But you better stick to that not hurting her promise otherwise I’ll kick your ass!’’

Brooke

‘’I’ll remember!’’

Outside conversation 2!

Sam

‘’So…I take it you talked with Brooke already?’’

Josh

‘’I didn’t give her a grilling like I’m guessing Lily gave you, but yeah!’’

Sam

‘’Yeah I did get a little roasted.’’

Josh

‘’You okay?’’

Sam

‘’We really didn’t want you guys to find out like this.’’

Josh

‘’Yeah I know.  On the other hand it was a very…interesting show!’’

Sam

‘’Josh!’’

Josh

‘’What?  I’m a guy and Brooke’s my ex I can’t help it!’’

Sam

‘’Well I’m glad we could please!’’

Josh

‘’Yo seriously though, it’s all good.’’

Sam

‘’Thanks, it means a lot to have that support.’’

Josh

‘’Hey, all I know is that if she’s happy and you’re happy then that’s all that matters right?’’

Sam

‘’Right!’’

Josh

‘’But you better take good care of her though.’’

Sam

‘’I promise.’’

‘’I’m gay!’’

There, she’d said it.  She’d finally pushed those words out of her mouth and now she couldn’t take them back.  Her heart pounded so hard it almost hurt.  She’d expected that.  And the clammy palms, and the sheer terror of telling the truth.  Sitting across from her Father, Brooke couldn’t help but tremble nervously.  She couldn’t even look at him.  Not out of shame but out of fear.  She didn’t think she’d be able to live with the look that would probably be on his face this very second.  And she could feel his eyes trained on her too.  Like they were trying to burn holes in her.

As scared as she was though, Brooke knew she was doing the right thing.  After last night she’d felt so much better.  Lily and Josh had been great about it.  There had been a few questions, but she hadn’t minded one of them.  It had been nice, to tell them stupid stories about what had happened between them so far.  Like the time Sam had just about knocked herself unconscious trying to get dressed!  Brooke had nearly split a lung with laughter even though it had been a risky situation.  Sam had been trying to get dressed as quickly as possible because Mr McQueen had been home early.  And the brunette really hadn’t felt like being caught violating his first-born daughter.  It hadn’t been too high on her agenda.  But, through careless putting on of the pants, she’d tripped and fallen head first into the door!  In hindsight, Sam had been able to laugh about it.  But at the time it’d been a different story!

Both the blonde and her girlfriend had found it liberating to be able to be so open.  And Brooke had realised that she simply didn’t want to live her life in secret.  Especially from her own Father.  She saw how Jane was all the time with Sam.  Open, supportive, understanding.  She wanted that kind of honesty with her Dad, so she’d decided to try and get it.  It was just scarier than people imagined.

‘’Oh thank god!’’

The unhidden relief caused Brooke to look up sharply, taking in how happy her Dad seemed to be.  His kind eyes were pooled with the relief and there was a dopey smile across his face.  Chuckling to himself lightly, he ran a hand through his hair and let out a breath as if he’d been holding it in.

‘’Daddy?  Did you hear what I said?’’

Brooke asking warily, lifting an eyebrow as she regarded him carefully.  She was a little confused herself.  Because out of all reactions that had sped through her mind before she did this, they hadn’t included relief and happiness.  Maybe he was in denial?  Maybe he’d heard whatever he’d wanted to hear?  Maybe he’d gone crazy?  Or maybe he was really relieved?

‘’I heard you fine honey.  I thought you were working up to telling me you were pregnant or something.  Don’t get me wrong; I would’ve handled it.  But I like gay better.’’

Brooke just blinked.  As if she was trapped and staring at her captor.  Did he really just say that?  Why would he think she was telling him she was pregnant?  Did that really matter?  No!  No what mattered was he’d said he liked gay better.  Did that mean it was the lesser of two evils?  Or did it mean that he was really okay with it?  Why wasn’t he over reacting?  Why was her head full of so many stupid questions?

‘’You like it better?’’

Brooke repeated dubiously.  With her mind thinking of so many questions and generally hurtling round like a twister, she’d completely blanked out somewhat.  Still staring at her Dad with a blank expression across her face.  Apparently frozen in her seat too.

Mike leaned forwards slightly, frowning a little as he waved a hand in front of his daughter’s eyes fearing she’d burst a blood vessel or something.  He thought he might have been handling this better than she was.  Which was highly unusual.

‘’Honey?  Are you okay?’’

Still thinking that he should be the one looking like Brooke was looking instead of making sure she was all right, Mike just nudged her lightly.  The movement at least made her blink first, then snap out of her momentary daze.  Deep green eyes focused on him properly again, but the confusion was still there.

‘’Listen Brooke, before you say anything I’ll explain.  I don’t care that you’re gay sweetheart.  You’re my daughter and I’ll love you no matter what.  Being gay isn’t a big deal anymore and you know I’ve never been prejudice against stuff like this.  All I care about is you being happy.’’

Mike cut Brooke off in whatever she had been about to say when she’d dropped her jaw to speak.  He wanted to say that before she hurled questions towards him.  And he wanted to alleviate any confusion and residual fear she had left swirling in her stomach.  He knew his daughter, so he knew how nervous she would have been about telling him.  He had to admit that he was rather reserved about a fair few things.  Not in an overstated bad way but he was a little more of a traditional man.  But he wasn’t prejudice.  And he wasn’t about to let something so perfectly normal stand between he and his daughter.

‘’I am happy Daddy.  Thank you.’’

Smiling gratefully, Brooke moved forwards and enveloped her Father into a tight hug.  She couldn’t believe how cool he was.  Sure he wasn’t the most hip Dad in the world, but he was the best.  Sure he’d married some bimbo that she hated, but he was still a good Dad.  Plus she’d gotten a little brother out of the deal, so Brooke really couldn’t grumble too much.

‘’Are you with anyone?  Got all the girls lining up around the block?’’

He wondered jokingly.  But then, he’d expect nothing less.  He wasn’t stupid.  Whenever he’d take Brooke out anywhere, he’d see the looks cast her way even if she remained oblivious to them.  He loved her for that.  Her gentle and innocent manner.  But he still saw them.  Why wouldn’t she have a line waiting for her?

‘’Whether there’s a line or not Daddy I don’t know.  But I do have a girlfriend.  And we’re very happy together.’’

Brooke shrugged lightly, bushing some disobedient hair back behind her ear as she examined the carpet for a moment.  Again she found herself a little nervous.  The whole dating issue with her Dad could be a little touch and go sometimes.  He growled at any jock stupid enough to approach her most of the time.  Though, he did see a perfectly legitimate threat from them.  Maybe he’d be okay with Sam.  He liked Sam.  He thought she was a good example of a well rounded teenager.  He liked that she strived to be herself, and seemed to have a good influence over her.

‘’And who is this lucky lady then?’’

He wondered raising another eyebrow.  Why on earth would he assume his daughter would be single?  Brooke was the social bell of the school wasn’t she?  Or something like that?  She didn’t do single did she?  Or wasn’t supposed to?  He wasn’t too sure.  He didn’t get all these rules about teenage life, especially in school.  His own teenage years had been confusing enough.  But he thought he’d come out of it okay.  He knew Brooke would too.  Surely this was a good step?  Obviously her having boyfriends in the past had come from a place of denial and fear about her sexuality.  So her accepting it and telling him as well as having a girlfriend was a really good sign that she was getting over some of the image issues?  And hopefully whoever this other girl was would be encouraging her with that.  It sure looked as though she was.  Mike had noticed a change in Brooke lately.  Although she’d slipped back into her eating disorder, she seemed to be coping well.  There was a shine about her, she’d put a healthy amount of weight back on, she was eating properly and she’d relaxed a lot.  So yes, Mike could get very used to this very quickly.

‘’Sam?  Sam McPherson?’’

Brooke wasn’t sure why she phrased that as a question as to wonder if her Father remembered Sam.  Of course he would.  She’d come home from school on countless afternoons bitching about her.  She’d bent his ear over the dinner table about how annoying and hideous Sam was along with her band of friends.  Then she’d started coming home and being polite about her.  And then she’d come home with Sam as her friend.  Of course he’d remember her; he’d thought it was funny that they seemed to be best friends instead of mortal enemies now.

Mike didn’t look too shocked.  As his daughter had said the name, he could swear a little light bulb switched on in his mind.  Okay so the signs had been there.  The change in them both was there.  And since Brooke had started to make friends with the schools editor she’d started to change.  It was like connecting the dots.  Especially when Sam had suddenly started to get very nervously polite around him just a while back.  He never knew what had caused her laid back attitude to change but now he assumed it must have been fear of him not liking her if he found out.

‘’Well at least it’s a girl I like.  This why she’s been so…skittish around me lately?’’

Smiling amusedly, Mike couldn’t help but ask and also put Brooke at some ease.  She couldn’t help but laugh lightly at the question and ran a hand through her long blonde hair as she nodded.

‘’Pretty much.  She thinks you might have a hidden weapon somewhere!’’

Mike laughed and shook his head, leaning back in his chair.  A weapon?  Him?  Well yeah but not to use on Sam.  As he cleared his throat to speak again, he was halted when he heard light patters in the hall.  Light patters that got nearer, until the door was flung open suddenly making Brooke jump a little.

‘’Brooke!  Brooke!  Where’ve you been?’’

The culprit was the four year old, podgy blonde angel that Brooke had the delight to call brother.  He might have been the son of the witch, but he was every bit like his Father and herself.  Much to her joy.  She’d never realised how much she’d been missing being an only child until he’d come along.  Even when she was pounced on in bed in the mornings. 

‘’Hey Eli.  Why, you miss me or something kid?’’

Brooke couldn’t hold back the ear-to-ear smile as she saw her little brother run into the room and made a clear beeline towards her.  Expecting the jolt as he ran into her, she picked him up easily and plopped him back down onto her knee.  Turning as best he could, he gave her a tight hug.

‘’Yeah.  Will you play with me?’’

Eli wasn’t very private about admitting his emotions.  If he was sad, he’d let you know.  If he was happy, he’d let you know.  And if he missed someone, he’d let them know too.  That’s how affectionate her brother was.  It was part of the reason he was so damn cute.  And she couldn’t resist ruffling his hair.

‘’I can’t sweetie I hafta go to school now.  But I tell ya what.  How about after me and Sam’ll come pick you up and we can do whatever you want okay?  You can even stay over, if it’s okay with Dad?’’

Putting her offer to her little brother he smiled widely and jumped off of her and virtually threw himself at his Dad.  Mike laughed and picked him up too and Eli turned so he could regard his Father.

‘’Can I Daddy?’’

He begged sweetly.  Now that face he’d learnt from Brooke.  Who could get around that kind of cute?

‘’Sure you can!’’

Both his children smiled happily at his decision.  Brooke cleared her throat and stood up slowly.  Reaching back, she picked up her jacket and began to slide it on.  She didn’t think one single thing could pull her down today.  Not even any concoction Bio Glass could come up with.  No, this day was going to be great.  Her family were behind her, Sam’s family was behind her and their friends so far were behind them.  What more could a girl ask?

‘’Well…I will see you guys after schools out.’’

Leaning forwards she kissed Eli and did another ruffle number on his hair, then she leaned in further and did the same to her Dad.  Chuckling triumphantly to herself, Brooke aimed for the doorway.  Still smiling all the way out the house, she knew that she was being followed by her Dad with Eli in his arms.  Sam would love that.  She was probably going crazy in the car.

As Brooke walked down the drive, she could already see the brunette with her head tilted back onto the seat rest and looking up at the sunroof.  She was either talking to herself, or singing to the radio.  Either way, she looked rather funny to Brooke from this angle.

Opening the door quickly, Sam nearly yelped as she snapped out of her singing daze.  Lurching forwards with wide eyes, she was obviously thankful that it was only the blonde.  Reaching out an arm the reporter switched the radio off as Brooke got into the car and started putting her seatbelt on.

‘’So?  What he say?  Was there weapons?’’

Sam demanded quickly.  Brooke just laughed as she shook her head as Sam began to start the car.  She’d sit until Brooke had told her the story but if they didn’t start moving now they weren’t going to make it into school in time for homeroom.  But a good sign was Brooke waving as she peeled the car out of the drive.  That was a good sign right?  Brooke wouldn’t be waving with a smile unless things had gone well right?

‘’He’s fine about me.  He doesn’t like you though.  Wants me to stop seeing you.’’

Brooke responded seriously.  She managed not to laugh as Sam’s face dropped white.  Glancing from the road to Brooke once or twice her mouth dropped open and shut as she tried to think of something to say.  She couldn’t describe her state of mind apart from an analogy of her heart splitting and sinking to the bottom of her stomach.  Why didn’t he like her?  What had she done?  Would Brooke do what he said?  What would they do if he made her?

‘’I…why…oh my god.  Why?’’

Was all she could splutter out in the end.  She felt that overpowering sum of fear crawl back into her making her feel sick.  Maybe she should turn the car around and go speak to him herself?  They couldn’t stop seeing one another.  It was a hideous notion and she couldn’t do it.

‘’Sam, I’m kidding!  He was fine about it all.’’

Brooke’s amusement was evident in her voice.  She smiled at her girlfriend like the cat that had caught a very big fat mouse.  Sam looked at her for a second, taking in her face to see whether she was telling the truth or not.  Having decided that Brooke had indeed been joking, the brunette let out a slow breath.  She still felt sick though.  The aftermath of being so upset she supposed. 

‘’I hate you!’’

Giving Brooke an icy glare Sam turned her eyes to watch the road indignantly.  She was so going to milk this one.  The joke hadn’t been a fair one at all and she was going to make Brooke realise it no matter what.  Even if she had to ignore her all day.  Which would take some doing but Sam was sure she’d manage it somehow.

‘’That’s not what you said in the shower this morning!’’

Brooke further teased her raising a smug eyebrow.  Sam couldn’t believe she was still teasing her.  And she couldn’t believe she was bringing in this subject.  That just wasn’t allowed.  It caused for further stropping.  And further indignant glaring.  And further contemplation on just how to get Brooke back for it.  The thought would come to her at some point.  But for now she had to listen to all the happy chirpings of times that Sam didn’t hate her.  She had to admit that the recall of the story was distracting her from her master plan of payback, but she was strong.  She’d use the force.

Finally lunch had come over the Kennedy High school campus.  Both first and second period had seemed to linger with a cruel and unwanted boredom.  And so far, things had been somewhat ordinary.  April Tuna was seemingly back and stalking the halls as always.  A happy sight to Sam seeing as a fellow student wasn’t dead.  And she’d seen Emory Dick fawning over her a couple of times.  She’d laughed and shaken her head, thinking it kind of cute in an odd way.  She liked the thought of couples right now. 

One couple that was doing better was definitely Lily and Josh.  Finally he’d had his hair cut properly again.  And Josh Ford was back and in his natural style once again.  Even though he’d left a small group of mullet wearers behind him.  Lily was happy though.  And also ecstatic about the money they’d raised.  Sam had laughed out loud seeing Mary Cherry virtually accosted too.  That had been fun.

The best thing of the day so far however, had been the Glamazons decision on letting April be their choreographer.  Sam had to admit to herself that she didn’t care one way or the other if she was or not.  What she cared about was this dance they’d been practicing for her.  And being the big reporter that she was, she’d managed to get a viewing of the surprise for April.  Mary Cherry had been suspicious of her as to why exactly she’d been sitting at the back of the room grinning like an idiot but her excuse had baffled the blonde back into silence.  So they had continued to do their little dance, and Sam had loved every second.

So maybe in that respect the first half of school hadn’t been so bad.  Things seemed to be running as normal and everything was back into place.  Well almost everything.  Sam still had the nagging issue of Harrison in the back of her mind.  And whilst she’d been bored during math, Sam had come up with a plan.  She’d decided to herself that she’d seek Harrison out at the start of lunch and lure him somewhere quiet.  Maybe one of the lonely spots by the sports field?  She wasn’t sure and she didn’t care as long as it was rather secluded.  This wasn’t the kind of thing to do by the lockers or in the cafeteria.  And she knew Harrison would appreciate that.

Therefore here she was.  Walking down the hall, making sure she was breathing.  She could see Harrison down the hall waiting for her like she’d asked him to even though he was stood with the others.  They’d understand though.  It was still fine, and she could still do this.  Even though she could already hear her heart banging against her chest.  But she could do this.

That had been her last thought before panic.  Suddenly, she was encompassed by a firm grip that bound her arms together.  A hand was slapped over her mouth too before she could even think of screaming for help and she was dragged off to the side and into the Novak.

Regaining some kind of thought pattern, Sam instinctively raised her foot and stamped on her kidnappers foot.  Hearing a yelp she pushed back and then broke her arms free.  As a final escape, she pushed whoever it was backwards and spun around furiously.

‘’What the hell do you think you’re doing?’’

The brunette near enough screamed hysterically.  Glaring at Nicole with the power of a universe full of white hot suns, she stepped back a little, crossed her arms and waited for an answer.  A side of her was rather satisfied that the blonde bitch was sitting with her foot in her hands, pawning over it delicately.

‘’What the hell do you think you’re doing Spam?’’

She spat back, throwing a death glare of her own.  Clearing her throat as she gained some of her calm back, Nicole stood up again.  Her foot was in some discomfort after the elephant stamp she’d received, but she could put that off for now.  Right now all she wanted to do was gain some upper hand on Spam McPherson.  So she too crossed her arms and lifted her chin up high.

‘’Well how was I supposed to know it was you?  I thought it was someone trying to kill me or something.’’

Sam pointed out once again indignantly.  This was a great day for that so far.  Stepping back as Nicole neared her, she gulped a little as the other girl raised an eyebrow with an unwavering look.  And still she gained on her, so Sam kept on stepping backwards.

‘’If I wanted you dead Spam, you’d be dead.  Sit.’’

Just as Nicole barked her order, Sam felt the back of her legs come into contact with the chair and she fell back into it ungracefully.  Gulping now that Nicole was standing above her, she just waited for things to unravel.  This sure felt like the time Mary Cherry had kidnapped her.  But speaking of Mary Cherry, she couldn’t help but notice the cheerleader in question flat out on the floor. 

‘’Why is Mary Cherry sprawled out on the floor like that?’’

She asked weakly.  Nicole glanced at her friend for a moment as she whimpered upon hearing her name.  Sam just frowned, seriously wishing she wasn’t here right now.  What kind of scheme were the two up to now?  And why did it always seem to involve her?  She didn’t want to be part of anything. 

‘’Oh, she’s recovering from Brookie’s little declaration a few minutes ago.  That’s right cretin, we know the sordid truth.’’

Suddenly it all became clear.  Sam’s mouth went a little dry as she realised that Brooke had spoken to them like she’d planned to.  Great, and now they wanted to beat the living daylights out of her.  She knew Nicole wouldn’t take the pill easily.  She was no friend to Brooke, not by Sam’s standards anyway.  She hadn’t helped her with anything obvious at all.  And after the beating was done with, she would probably declare it all over school.  That part was the easiest part; it was the pain that came first that was scariest.

‘’Look Nic…’’

A stamp of the foot and a hand gesture shut Sam right up.  Nicole glared at her questioningly, as if to ask how she dare speak without being spoken to first.  That was a high-class girl for you.

‘’I’d remain quiet if I were you hun.  It’s in your best interest.’’

She warned quietly.  Sam nodded silently, deciding to do just that.  But she couldn’t help but jump slightly as Mary Cherry decided to hurl herself up by the chair and off of the floor. 

‘’That’s right.  You listen to what Nicky and I have to say.’’

She agreed, giving Sam one of those horrible insane looks that sent shivers down her spine.  How Mary Cherry had gotten so adapt at being so psycho was beyond Sam.  A nice big institution was possibly a good way to go after high school.

‘’Brooke seems adamant that you’re a worthy choice Spam.  I think she hit her head myself.  Still not a time to butt in Spam.  I can’t say I’m surprised about you.  But Brookie?  No that came from way down left field.  What I am confused about hun is you.  Why you of all the girls she could pick from?  This is where the head trauma comes in of course.  So I’m pondering to myself, what shall I do about this new situation?’’

Sam moved her head every time Nicole strode past her.  Back and forth back and forth.  She had Mary Cherry’s undivided too.  Sam felt like a hostage again.  This time her captor was deadlier and even more sinister than Mary Cherry.  No, this particular dictator had vital information at her fingertips and she knew exactly how to use it.  That’s what Nicole was all about.  Ruthless domination.  Anyway she could rise to the top, so be it.  If that meant stabbing her friends in the back?  She’d do it of course.

‘’Yes, what to do with this information?  The sordid story of the captain of the cheerleading squad and the fashion blind paper editor.  Although, personally speaking, you’re not so bad.’’

Mary Cherry joined in the torturing of Sam McPherson.  Prisoner to the bitch and the psycho and with the silver bullet offered to them.  Though, it wasn’t herself she was worried about.  She’d survived her entire school life dealing with these two and their antics.  And every other popular student around here.  She’d learnt how to survive whilst still being herself.  Brooke hadn’t.  She had no experience of being on the bottom.  All she’d ever known was what it was like at the top of the social ladder.  Sam’s one fear would remain with her.  What would it do to Brooke?

‘’Shut up Mary Cherry.  You know exactly how I could use this against you both.  And I would.  If Brooke wasn’t my friend.  And yes that may shock you Spam but never the less, recent happenings have caused me to value Brooke’s friendship.  If she must choose the runt of this school to be her girlfriend, then so be it.  But understand this; I’m not happy with it.  Her being friends with you, only just acceptable.  Her dating you is blasphemy.  It’s like a mortal and a Goddess.  I will be watching your back every step of the way to make sure you do nothing remotely harmful to Brooke.  You will not tarnish her good name.  Do you understand?’’

Sam really didn’t know if she understood.  She had to get this clear in her mind first.  Mary Cherry seemed to like her, despite her apparent fault in fashion.  This was good.  She seemed to love all this scandal too.  So inevitably she’d let the cat out of the bag.  Which was bound to happen with or without her.

Nicole still regarded her as luncheon meat and now a runt to boot.  Which was always nice.  But despite this, she wasn’t going to do any bodily harm to her.  But instead stand behind her friend?  Something rather unique for Nicole to do.  Sam supposed it came out of this whole Mother issue she had going on.  Brooke had been extremely supportive through that, and over mostly every other drama Nicole had going on.  So maybe there was an inch of loyalty in there somewhere?  After all, she had donated marrow to Harrison.  Sam had even admitted to the she devil herself that it had thrust her up into higher reigns of respect.  Maybe she just wanted things to be okay around here?  Maybe she knew that she’d have to stay behind Brooke to remain popular and make sure she stayed ruler of the school?  The mind boggled at what exactly Nicole Julian could actually be thinking.

The one thing Sam did understand was the threat of being watched.  Like some leper or something.  Like she was actual danger to Brooke.  It wasn’t like she was about to turn around and give her some ungodly disease.  Or convince her to do something stupid.  Or leave her after getting the biggest one over her.  And that made Sam a little mad.  That all she seemed to be getting were warnings to do right by Brooke.

‘’Look Satan.  Whilst I value your offbeat and shocking support of the relationship I have with Brooke, I will not sit here and be insulted.  She hasn’t hit her head.  I am worthy of her even though I do marvel sometimes at how Goddess like she is.  I am neither any potted meat or a runt.  You may not see that but she does.  It’s her choice to be with me, I didn’t coerce her.  And whilst I respect you’re only trying to do right by the one person who’s ever extended the arm of friendship to you, back off.  I will not be threatened to be watched by you.  There’s no tarnishing going on, and I’m not doing anything remotely harmful to Brooke.  Unless of course you consider loving someone harmful?  So as I welcome your support and I would be grateful for it, I won’t let my life be terrorised by you.  Leave me alone.  Leave her alone and leave us alone okay?  Real friends don’t wait in the shadows for prime opportunities to strike.  Just support us or leave us alone.’’

Nicole stepped back as Sam rose slowly out of her seat.  She stood glaring into the other girl with a firm, confident and penetrating look.  Her voice had it too.  She was angry and she wasn’t about to let Nicole walk all over her.  Not about this.  She could put up with all the other dramatics, but this wasn’t going to be trivialised into something about her.  The truth was, Nicole had no control over this and she wanted to compensate for that.  Well it wasn’t happening.  Sam acknowledged that having her on their side for when the news hit the school would be a very good asset.  But she wouldn’t stand for her games.  So, she’d stand up to her.  It was make or break time.

Mary Cherry herself seemed truly aspired.  Sam huffed as the insane blonde grabbed hold of her from the side and clung onto her as if it were a hug.  The brunette didn’t really know what to do.  At least Mary Cherry was okay with it.  If worst came to worst, she could be their personal bodyguard.

‘’That was beautiful Spam!’’

She cooed as she snuggled into Sam’s arm.  Looking at Mary Cherry Sam just didn’t know whether to smile or scream.  Nicole was taking the ‘she’s pathetic’ look herself.  But it was still Sam caught in her grip.

‘’Well…erm…thanks…I guess!’’

Sam uttered as she blinked.  Then, she looked back towards Nicole.  The blonde looked her up and down as if inspecting her, and then shrugged.

‘’Well well, the runt has a spine.  You only remember one thing in that peanut head of yours okay Spam?  I’m only interested in Brooke’s welfare, not yours.  Clear?’’

Sam knew that was as good as admittance to acceptance as she was getting from Nicole.  By declaring that she would only be supportive for Brooke, the debunked cheerleader didn’t have to admit she actually cared.  Sam knew there was a heart in there somewhere.  It just had sparse appearances.

‘’Yeah, I’m clear.  Now if you’re done terrorising me I’d like to go speak to Harrison now?’’

At that Mary Cherry released her grip of Sam.  A deranged but glowing smile gracing her features as she thought about Harrison.  Who knew, maybe Harrison could fall for her.  As strange as she was Mary Cherry seemed to hold him in high regard.  She wasn’t all bad.  She just had the nasty habit of falling behind Nicole’s footsteps sometimes.  Like now.  She was still creepy, but in a funny kind of way nowadays. 

Nicole stepped aside and gestured her hand towards the door.  Sam nodded a thank you and sighed with relief as she was allowed to walk free.  With her two captors in tow of course.  She had a suspicious feeling they were about to try and view the show.  Well they had another thing coming.

‘’Harrison that was so out of line and you know it.’’

Or not.  Sam looked over to where she was meant to be meeting Harrison by the lockers as she heard the raised voice.  Instantly she knew it had been Brooke’s voice.  And just as instantly she felt her heart lift into her throat.  What else could happen this lunch time?  She’d had enough already and she hadn’t even eaten yet.

Brooke was standing in front of Harrison, and the only way to describe their postures was offensive and hostile.  They were right up in each others faces.  Great, Harrison had to have found out.  It was the only explanation possible.  He just simply wouldn’t be like that with Brooke about anything else.  Which meant there was an impending war hanging over their heads.

‘’What’s going on Joe?’’

Mary Cherry asked innocently, wondering why the man of her dreams was looking rather ready to pounce on one of her best friends.  It was also the dizzy cheerleader that caught his attention before Sam could ask more or less the same question.  He, and all of her friends looked at her as she headed towards them.

‘’Well it’s really a party now.  You come to do some more lying to me Sam?’’

Harrison demanded, obviously struggling with the crack in his voice.  Deep, dark and hurt eyes centred on her making her feel a rush of guilt.  Her plan had gone to hell.  If only Nicole hadn’t chosen when she had to kidnap her.  She might have been able to spare at least a few of Harrison’s feelings about this.

‘’I am so sorry Sam, he overheard me.’’

Lily admitted straight off.  It had been as simple as that.  She’d been happily informing Carmen that she was now in the loop of the goings on and no one had noticed that Harrison had been lingering.  It was an easy mistake.  It wasn’t like she’d intentionally shouted it out or anything.  And why would she have suspected one of her best friends of all people to freak out or to be lurking about?

‘’It’s okay Lily.  Look, Harrison.  I know this is a shock…and you didn’t deserve to find out like this but please, just let me talk to you about it properly?’’

Sam begged him calmly.  Stepping nearer, she stood at an angle away from Brooke so that Harrison turned away from her.  Instead he was now face to face with Sam, and that had been exactly what she’d wanted.  Brooke however still looked as mad as anything.  Carmen stepped up behind her and placed an arm on her shoulder just to show she had back up.  And plus in all honesty Brooke looked like she was about to need restraint.

‘’Talk about it properly?  You actually know what that means?  Because when we were talking yesterday, nothing about this came up Sam.  What, it just so happened to slip you’re mind or something?’’

He demanded unsteadily.  A little calmer now though.  He felt a little bitter about himself that he let her have such sway on him, but he couldn’t help it.  She’d always been his friend above his love and she’d always been able to affect him like this.  That’s what made them such good friends in the first place.  But he’d have expected her to tell him.  After he’d sat there and pointed out that she was single, why couldn’t she just have told him the truth?  After he was sitting there and putting his heart on his sleeve?  Telling her the utter truth of how he was feeling because he thought that as a friend, she deserved to at least know. 

‘’No, it didn’t.  But I didn’t know how to do it then Harrison.  You caught me off guard and I copped out.  I’m sorry, I was a coward.  Please Harrison.  I think this is a subject that we could both agree on needs to be spoken about in privacy?’’

Given the highly delicate nature of the conversation they had to have, Sam really didn’t think an audience was necessary.  No one but Brooke knew about his feelings towards her.  Well, and Nicole because she’d been there when she’d read the email.  But still, she really thought the last thing Harrison needed right now was to be outed as the puppy dog that loved his best friend.  He knew he wouldn’t want that on display right here and right now.  And as she looked at him pleadingly, she could tell the same thoughts were going through his mind.

‘’Okay.’’

He conceded eventually.  There was almost a literal sigh of relief from everyone watching.  Especially Brooke.  She wasn’t sure if she’d ever seen him that angry.  But again, she wasn’t surprised.  This was over Sam after all.  And now she got the distinct impression that she would have to disappear along with everyone else.  Not that she was too happy with that idea, but she’d respect what Sam was wanting to do.

‘’Lets go to the cafeteria shall we?’’

The cheerleader asked no one in particular, but told everyone.  Catching on quickly, the small group nodded and started to head down the hall.  Giving Sam one last look, Brooke followed behind them and soon they were gone.

Okay so Sam had thought alone was better why?  No, no she couldn’t start thinking that.  This was just Harrison.  She needed to be honest with him now and then she’d know she did her best.  She was right in saying that he’d deserved that at the start and she did regret not just telling him.  But she’d also been honest in saying she didn’t know how.  Well she still didn’t know how, so she’d just have to stay honest.

‘’I am so…disappointed in you right now.  You betrayed me.  You betrayed our friendship.  And essentially Sam, you lead me to believe there was some hope for a chance between you and me.  You dating Brooke McQueen, the only other girl I like, is what I’d call share material.  I put myself out on a limb for you, and you didn’t even have the curtsey to do the same with me.  That was the real slap in the face.  Obviously you hold getting Brooke into bed far more important that a lowly friend like me.’’

Harrison started the impending conversation and didn’t hold any bars.  His disappointment was coming through loud and clear in his tone, joined with the furious one.  And she may have deserved all of that.  But only some of it. 

‘’You’re walking on dangerous ground there Harrison.  Don’t.’’

The brunette warned sharply.  She’d take the rest of it but not cracks about something he knew nothing about.  And he didn’t know anything about her and Brooke.  She may have deserved to be pulled over the coals for the rest, but simply not that.

‘’Well there’s not much else to be said without me walking on this dangerous ground.  I need to know what it’s gunna be?’’

Sam knew what he was asking her and she didn’t like it.  She didn’t want to change her friendship with him.  Sure they were on patchy ground but all friendships went through that.  Why did he have to make it so hard?  She loved him. 

‘’Harrison please don’t do this.  You yourself admitted that sending that email was a big mistake which means you’ve had second thoughts…’’

The love thing had to be dealt with first.  And even though Sam knew she was essentially grasping at straws, she had to give it a shot.  He felt betrayed not only because she hadn’t been his best friend, and not only because she was seeing someone else, but because she couldn’t love him back.  Even though that wasn’t her fault, he’d still feel betrayed over that.  It was just how Harrison was.

‘’I lied.  I didn’t mean to send that attached one to Nicole.  But the one I sent to you, I sent that Monday on purpose.  You know with all this talk about denial swirling around?  And I realised that I don’t wanna be in that state anymore with you.  And the reason I’m so forthright and so stupid about my feelings is that…when I almost died I realised, love is all that matters.  Sam, choose.  I’m dying here.’’

Once again Harrison cut her off with another of his profound reasoning’s.  He was still pitching for what he really wanted.  Even after being faced with the fact she was dating Brooke.  That again was just how Harrison could be.  But he wasn’t just asking for a choice between lovers.  No, Sam knew that much.  And it was breaking her heart that her life long best friend was forcing her to choose between him and someone she loved in a completely different manner. 

One thing though did strike her about what he’d just said.  ‘Love is all that matters’.  If that was true, why was he doing this?  And if that were true, he was almost telling her to choose Brooke.  And if that were true, should she choose Brooke?  Should she break the cardinal rules of friendship and let a lover come between them?  All friends did it, made pacts that a girlfriend or boyfriend would never split them up.  But was this exactly what was going on here.  It wasn’t straight forwards that was for sure.  Harrison was in love with her despite the fact she couldn’t love him back, even if she wasn’t involved with Brooke.  So none of this really had anything to do with her.  It was about Sam being gay.  It was about telling him that she couldn’t ever do anything but pick Brooke over him.  But she still hated it.

And if she was such a terrible friend for not telling him in the first place, what kind of friend was he for forcing her to do this?  Then it would all be her fault, and she’d have all the guilt for it.  It was a sneaky and underhanded way for Harrison to duck the feelings that came with all of this.  It would give him something to hate her for, and if he could be angry at her it would lessen his love for her right?  Maybe or maybe not, but that’s how his mind saw it.  So again, he was being a sucky friend and putting all the pressure on her.  Why shouldn’t she pick Brooke over him?  She’d never ask her to choose.  And neither had anyone else, not even Nicole had done this.  So what value was Harrison as a friend if he could turn on her like this?

‘’Okay.  Okay, if its gunna be that cut and dry…then I hafta choose Brooke.  Harrison don’t do this…okay…this is horrible but we can fix this.  We can go on.  We can still be best friends…’’

Yes he was being a sucky friend.  And she was beyond angry with him for doing this to her.  But he was Harrison.  She felt like he was somewhat of a brother to her now.  She’d lived her whole life with him by her side.  And he did know her very well, just not as well as he’d thought.  But he was one of the first people she’d go to for anything.  Surely that was all worth working at to keep?  A lifelong friendship couldn’t just be cast aside could it?

But as he turned away, she felt like she was being desperate again.  He didn’t want her to see the tears that were forming.  He didn’t want her to see the unbelievable pain that he couldn’t conceal.  And he couldn’t look at her for a moment.  It was like to look at her just then would have been torture and another slap to the face.  So he turned away.  And he would’ve walked away too.  If she hadn’t have continued.

She was right, they could go on.  He knew it.  He knew that eventually they’d get past it and they’d go on being friends.  That it would take work and effort but somehow they’d manage it simply because it was Sam and Harrison.  It’s what they did.  But he didn’t have the energy right now.  He didn’t want to be happy for her, or Brooke.  He didn’t want to work at being her friend.  He didn’t want to do any of it.  Because all the life and energy had just been ripped out of him.

‘’You know what…erm…maybe you can Sam.  But I can’t.  You’ve made your decision.  Now I hafta make mine and er…I can’t see you everyday with her.  I can’t talk to you about stupid superficial things when what I really want to say is why couldn’t you have at least tried with me?’’

Sam knew she couldn’t address why she couldn’t try with him.  He knew why.  But he’d needed to vent that.  It would take him a while for him to accept that she couldn’t possibly try because of her sexual orientation, if he ever did.  But it was part of the lash out process.  Maybe he really thought he would’ve made some difference in her decision?  That he’d be her Holden and she’d be Amy?  Life didn’t work out like a Chasing Amy movie all the time though.  And they ended up splitting up anyway and Amy had still been with a girl.  Did Harrison really want to go through that?  Both of them pretending everything was fine until the inevitable happened and Sam ended up with Brooke or someone like her anyway?  Maybe he would have, but Sam didn’t want that to happen.

But she knew what else it was he was making clear.  The friendship was broken, and he was more or less blaming her.  Even though they’d both done wrong against each other, she admitting hers was worse.  But he was leaving this on her.

‘’So what are you saying?  Huh?  That…that’s it?  We’re over completely?  You’re sorry but you regretfully never wanna speak to me again?’’

She demanded for clearance.  If he was insisting on doing it, she was going to make him say it.  He owed her at least that much.  There was nothing she’d be able to say that could change his mind.  He’d either have to do that himself then come to her, or he’d stick by his choice.  This was just an easy way to blame her.  Blame her for not loving him.  When he was telling himself that he was punishing her for being a bad friend to him.

‘’Yeah.  That’s what I’m saying.  Bye.’’

And just like that, Harrison turned around again.  Only this time he walked away.  No words were desperately trying to stop him, because Sam didn’t really have any.  What could she say?  How could she really make things better for him?  She’d lied to him, yes.  That could be patched up again.  It wasn’t like he’d never lied to her before.  And it wasn’t like she hadn’t done the same cover up to her other friends.  It really wasn’t reason enough to completely end their friendship.  But it was in his world.  Because yes, she’d betrayed him.  For more things than she could take responsibility for.

At the end of the day, she loved Brooke.  She wanted to be with Brooke.  And if Harrison wasn’t willing to accept that for now, then that was his problem.  She’d tried with him, expecting more of him than to just walk away from her.  But she guessed everything couldn’t be perfect for her.  He was in pain and shock too.  She understood that.  But most of her still wanted to know why that had been enough.

There were a few facts left that Sam knew.  The first was that she loved Brooke.  The second was that Brooke loved her.  The third was she was watching her best friend walk away from her because of that.  Essentially that’s what he was leaving for.  Hiding behind false truths.  As if it would help his pain.  Harrison would be hurt no matter what.  It wasn’t her fault she’d fallen for someone else.  And it wasn’t her fault she was gay.  He of all people knew that it wasn’t an option.  She wished he’d change his mind.  Come back and make the effort with her to pick the pieces up.  So they’d hurt each other.  Couldn’t they call it equal now?  Just start fresh and be honest?  She could be tolerant of his feelings for however long they lasted because he’d been there for her so much in the past.  But she wasn’t willing to follow him around begging for that.  If Harrison wanted to be her friend, he’d have to come to her.  She refused to take all the blame for this and she refused to be the one that ended up with all the guilt.  In her heart of hearts, Brooke was someone she couldn’t let go of.  She was someone who could make the rest of her life happy.  Brooke was someone she could have a life and family with.  So in her heart of hearts, she knew Brooke was the right choice.