Title: When Love Comes Running Back

by Balticbard

Email: balticbard@yahoo.com

Disclaimer; Popular is copyrighted to Touchstone. No infringement meant; for entertainment purposes. No profit will be made.


Leslie Bibb; Brooke McQueen (Samantha's step-sister, and secret lover)

Carly Pope; Samantha McPherson (Brooke's step-sister, and secret lover)

Lisa Darr; Jane McPherson (Sam's mom)

Scott Bryce; Mike McQueen (Brooke's dad)

Tammy Lynn Michaels; Nicole Julian (Brooke's best friend)


Act 1; Brooke Runs Scared

Scene 1;

Opening scene; Brooke's room. Brooke is packing a suitcase that she has on her bed. Sam is standing in the doorway of Brooke's room. Brooke is preparing to go on a trip to Europe. The two girls have recently become lovers after having been rivals for the love of several boys, and enemies in their highschool's social scene.

Sam; (angry) Why are you doing this, Brooke? (crosses arms, tries desperately not to cry) Why are you running away from us?

Brooke; (packing quickly, in a disorganized fashion; throwing things into her suitcase) I just can't handle this right now, Sam. I need some space.

Sam; But why do you have to go so far away?

Brooke; Please, Sam...I just can't handle what we have right now.

Sam; Don't you love me?

Brooke; I love you so much, that it hurts. That scares me.

Sam; But why?

Brooke; I don't...I just can't explain right now. I just need time.

Sam; Time for what?

Brooke; I need time to decide what I'm going to do with my life.

Sam; I can't believe this. Your life? What about me, Brooke. Have you even thought about how I might feel?

Brooke; I'm so sorry, Sam.

Sam; That's certainly not enough, McQueen. I thought you were my life. I never doubted this for one moment. I guess I was just wrong.

Brooke; Look, Sam...I have fifteen minutes to get to the airport.

Sam; (desperate) Brooke...please talk to me...please...before its too late.

Brooke; I have to go.

Sam; You have to decide YOUR fate in Europe?

Brooke; Nic invited me to go with her.

Sam; (angry, exasperated) Well I certainly know why.

Brooke; Its not what you think, Sam. Nic, and I are just friends. Okay?

Sam; Whatever...I really don't care!

Brooke; Sam...

Sam; You know what, Brooke? I don't have to take this. I have pride too. I have a life...I don't have to...

Brooke; (feeling guilty) Please, Sam...I just need some time away from us.

Sam; (enraged)I have the perfect solution for this, Brooke; take all the time you want! Just go to hell! (storms out of Brooke's room)

Brooke; (stops packing, and stands in doorway) Sam, please come back!

Jane, Brooke's pretty stepmother enters the girl's room.

Jane; Are you ready, Brooke?

Brooke; Yeah, mom (suddenly depressed)

Jane; Another argument with Sam?

Brooke; Um...(frightened that Jane might know about her secret tryst with Sam)

Jane; Its just that despite her fights with you, Sam has gotten used to having you around. She's just going to miss you.

Brooke; (relieved at seeing that Jane obviously doesn't know about her, and Samantha) Yes. That's it, mom. Sam was just in here complaining.

Jane; Don't worry, Brooke. She'll be fine. Now, close that suitcase, and come downstairs.

Jane helps Brooke close her suitcase, and Brooke gets her purse. Mike, Brooke's father enters his daughter's room.

Mike; Are you ready, Brooke?

Brooke; Yeah, dad.

Mike; I'll take the suitcase. Let's go. (Mike carries suitcase out of the room, and down the stairs)

Jane; (knocking on the door to Sam's room) Sam...come on. We're driving Brooke to the airport.

Sam; (comes out of her bedroom, her face expressionless) Go on without me.

Jane; What?

Sam; I can't go with you guys. I have something to tend to.

Jane; But...

Brooke is coming down the hall, but stops when she gets to Jane, and Sam, who seem to be arguing.

Sam; Please, mom...just go with Brooke, and Mike.

Jane; Samantha...you are coming with us! What will Brooke think of this?

Sam; Mom...I really don't care. Just leave me alone right now.

Brooke; What's going on? (she is now standing before both women) Sam?

Sam; Have a good time in Europe with Nicole, Brooke.

Jane; She doesn't want to come with us to the airport, Brooke.

Brooke; (shocked) You have to come, Sam. You have to see me off.

Sam; (kisses both Jane, and Brooke on the cheek) Later. (leaves room, and rushes down the stairs) I'll be back later, mom. Enjoy yourself, Brooke.

Jane; (shaking her head) Sometimes I just don't understand that girl!

Brooke; (on the verge of tears) I know.

Jane; (suddenly chirpy, grabs Brooke by the arm) Come on. Let's go.

Downstairs, Mike is waiting at the door, and Sam passes him.

Mike; You're always early, Sam.

Sam; I'm not going with you guys, Mike. I have to go to the library.

Mike; (amazed) Now, Sam? Can't it wait?

Sam; (kisses her stepfather on the cheek) Can't, Mike. Besides, you know that its never to good to have me, and Brooke in the same place for too long.

Mike; Yeah...I know (smiling).

Sam; Brooke won't even miss me.

Mike; Maybe she will.

Sam; It really doesn't matter. See you later, Mike.

Sam rushes out of the door, and gets into her rust-colored, 1973 Volkswagen Beetle, and starts to back out of the driveway.

Jane, and Brooke have reached Mike at the door of the house.

Jane; Mike, why didn't you stop Sam from leaving?

Mike; Why?

Jane; She didn't want to go with us.

Mike; Sam is a big girl, Jane. I can't force her to go with us.

Jane; (rolls her eyes) Let's just get going.

Brooke gets to the door in time to see Sam backing out of the driveway in her car.

Brooke; (ashamed, guilty, waves at Sam in desperation) Sam!

Jane; Don't bother with that brat, Brooke. Let's get into the car.

Brooke; Yeah, mom (looks at Sam driving away with longing in her eyes).

Brooke, Mike, and Jane get into Mike's Mercedes Benz, and drive away.


Scene 2;

Opening scene; Brooke, and Nicole Julian, her best friend, are both seated in the airplane, which is almost empty, waiting for it to take off. A flight attendant comes by, and stops briefly beside them.

Flight attendant; Girls, fasten your safety belts. The plane takes off in five minutes.

Brooke; (gloomy) Sure.

Nicole; (excited, ecstatic, chattering aimlessly) Yeah. (she obeys the flight attendant, and fastens her safety belt, and continues to babble to Brooke) We are going to have so much fun, Brookie. Italy, France, Spain, Germany. Six months of shopping, parties, drinking, exploring. You're gonna love Europe with me. (stops talking when she sees Brooke's forlorn expression) What is it, Brookie?

Brooke; (depressed) She didn't come. She didn't even really say goodbye to me! I wanted a hug from her.

Nicole; Who?

Brooke; Sammy.

Nicole; (sighs, rolls eyes in apparent boredom) Oh.

Brooke; Yeah (sighs, then broods, and looks out of the window beside her).

Nicole; I'm glad that you're getting away from her, Brooke. Sam is a bad influence on you. You are much too young for a permanent lover at seventeen.

Brooke; (shocked) You know about us? How?

Nicole; Its written all over your face, Brooke. Its in the way that you look at her.

Brooke; It doesn't bother you that I'm gay, Nic?

Nicole; You're my best friend, Brooke. I don't care if you're gay or straight. But I am glad that you're leaving Sam behind.

Brooke; I'm in love with Sam, Nic. But...I don't know...I'm just so scared. I just need some space for a while.

Nicole; You don't have to explain anything to me, Brookie. I understand. And I think that you should see other girls. Where we're going, there are lots of beautiful girls for you to date.

Brooke; I don't know if I should, Nic.

Nicole; You're running away from Sam because you're not really sure you love her, Brooke.

Brooke; (suddenly angry) No, I'm not! I do love Sam!

Nicole; Just trust me, Brookie. I've been in love too many times. You're only seventeen. You're too young to tie yourself down right now. You have to wait, and live life. Leave commitments for when you are older.

Brooke; (unable to deny the truth; that Nicole is right) But...

Nicole; Shut up, Brooke. We have six months of fun ahead of us. Don't you dare ruin it by moping over Sam! (shakes her finger menacingly at Brooke)

Brooke; (smiling) Whatever you say, Nic.

End of Act 1.


Carly Pope; Samantha McPherson

Tamara Mello; Lilly Esposito (Sam's best friend)

Sara Rue; Carmen Ferrara (Sam's other best friend)

Mario Lopez; Paolo, studly star of "Sinful Passions," soap opera


Act 2; Sam's Dark Angel

Scene 1;

Opening scene; one month have passed since Brooke left for Europe. Sam is having dinner with her two, best friends, Carmen Ferrara, and Lilly Esposito at a local, popular restaurant called; "Lorraine's Loft." All three girls are discussing how Brooke abandoned Sam.

Lilly; (fuming) I just can't believe that Brooke just left you like that, Sammy...after saying that she loved you so much! She is just a damn bitch!

Carmen; (confused) Didn't she give you any explanations, Sam? I mean...you two looked so firm together.

Sam; Nope. She just up, and left. She ran like a blasted coward. I can't say that I'm completely sad about her leaving.

Lilly; But why? I just don't get it.

Sam; I don't know why, Lil. I just don't know.

Carmen; Sam?

Sam; Yeah, Carm?

Carmen; Please do me a favor. Please, Sam?

Sam; What, Carm?

Carmen; Just stop moping over Brooke. I mean...will it fix anything to keep obsessing over her?

Lilly; Carm is right, Sammy. There are other fish in the sea.

Carmen; And don't you dare give me that old tired line about how you can't see other people because you are deeply in love with Brooke, Samantha!

Sam; But...

Lilly; No buts, Sam. You have to try, and get over Brooke. Try hard...for us. I mean...we do mean something to you...don't we?

Sam; You, and Carm are like...my life right now.

Carmen; So?

Sam; Okay, okay...no more Brooke-brooding.

Lilly; (breathless) Hey, guys...look at what just walked in!

The three girls look toward the entrance of the restaurant, and notice that a tall, dark, tanned, handsome, well dressed young man with wavy black hair, and a wild look about him has just walked in.

Lilly; I may be married...but wow...what a hunk!

Carmen; He looks familiar. (with furrowed brow, as she concentrates) I know...that's Paolo...he's that studly actor on that daytime soap opera..."

Lilly; Yeah...I remember now. Its called "Sinful Passions. Wow. What a babe!

Sam; (smiling, as she licks her lips, and her eyes rake up, then down the young man's body) He really is fantastic!

Carmen; Sam?

Sam; Yeah?

Carmen; (puzzled) Why are you staring at him like that? Aren't you gay?

Sam; (not taking her eyes of Paolo) Uh...not really. No.

Carmen; But what about you, and...

Lilly; (through gritted teeth, as she jabs Carmen in the ribs with her elbow) Don't say that name. Don't remind her.

Carmen; Ow! Hey! Stop that!

The three girls quiet down, as the young man walks by their table, glancing at them briefly. Then Paolo sits down at a nearby table, and signals the waiter to come to him.

Lilly; So Brooke is in Europe, Sammy?

Carmen; Hey! You told me not to say that name! Why did you just say it?

Lilly; Shut up, Carm (she is more interested in Sam, than in Carmen) so, Sam...Brooke is in Europe.

Sam; (dryly) With Nic.

Lilly; Not good at all.

Sam; You got the same impression that I did, Lil?

Lilly; Yeah. Nic wants Brooke for herself. Betcha anything that it was Nic that talked Brooke into leaving you.

Sam; I don't doubt that one bit. Nic is a bitch...a snake!

Lilly; But I don't expect you to just stand by, and wait patiently for Brooke to come back.

Carmen; Yeah, Sam. You need to get a new lover.

Sam; I'm not a cheap whore, guys. I can't just sleep with the first person who I think likes me.

Lilly; (glares at Carmen) That's not what we meant, Sammy. What we mean to say, is that you can't let Brooke just leave you, be unfaithful, then expect you to wait for her like a virgin. What we mean is, that you just need to find someone new; slowly.

Sam; Oh. I think that I can live with that.

All three girls start laughing, but stop when they see a figure standing close to them; Paolo.

Paolo; (looking intently at Sam, and holding his hand out to her) Hi.

Sam; (startled that such a handsome man would notice her, and looks around her as if to confirm it) Um...

Meanwhile, Lilly is smiling, Carmen is dazed, and Sam is blushing.

Paolo; (still staring at Sam) Yeah, I'm talking to you. What is your name?

Sam; My name is Samantha. But please call me Sam.

Paolo; (smiling) Hi, Sam. My name is...

Sam; (taking his hand) I know what your name is (her eyes are filled with mischief, as she looks intently at him). Your name is Paolo. I've seen you before on TV.

Paolo; I noticed you since I came in here, Sam. You are so very beautiful.

Carmen, and Lilly watch in bewildered silence the way Sam, and Paolo look at each other; as if they had just fallen in love, or in deep lust, but with a burning passion that glows in their eyes.

Sam; Thank you, Paolo (blushing)

Paolo; Sam...I would like to see you again. Will you go out with me sometime?

Sam; Sure.

Paolo; (still holding Sam's hand tenderly in his own) And I would like you to audition for a role on the soap that I work on... "Sinful Passions."

Sam; But I'm not an actor.

Paolo; You have the looks for it, and the rest will come by itself, Sam. Will you do it?

Sam; Yes. I will.

Paolo; (putting his business card in her hand, as he lets it go) I want my agent to see you as well (he then leans down, and kisses Sam on the cheek).

Sam; (blushing hotly) Sure.

Paolo; I have to go; but I will see you soon (he bows to Sam, then turns, and smiles at both Lilly, and Carmen).

All three girls watch the handsome Paolo walk out of the restaurant.

Sam; What just happened?

Lilly; You go girl! (slaps Sam's shoulder playfully) You are so lucky!

Carmen; Yeah.

Sam; I guess that's the nail that will pull the other nail out.

Lilly; Well...we have to celebrate; NO MORE BROOKE!

Sam; Most definitely!

The three girls start giggling, and gossiping.

End of Act 2.


Leslie Bibb; Brooke McQueen

Tammy Lynn Michaels; Nicole Julian


Act 3; Brooke Gets a Dose of Her Own Medicine

Opening scene; Four months have passed; Brooke, and Nicole have been all over Europe. The two girls have finally settled in Italy for a while, just a brief respite before they go on to Sweden. Both girls have been partying almost non-stop for four months; Brooke is tired, because all that she has done is go partying with Nicole, drink, and have one night stands with different girls. Nicole has done the same as Brooke, but with guys instead of girls. It is now early afternoon, and both girls are walking in a huge marketplace somewhere in Sicily.

Nicole; Feel better, Brookie?

Brooke; That was some hangover, Nic. I don't want to do that again.

Nicole; The drinking, or the sex?

Brooke; Both. I don't even remember who I slept with last night.

Nicole; That's why its called a one night stand! Its sex with no strings attached; animal sex. You're not supposed to ask for names.

Brooke; Well I'm sort of tired of it, Nic. I need to stop partying for a while.

Nicole; Are you still thinking of Sam?

Brooke; Yeah.

Nicole; You are such a sicko, Brooke! You don't even know how to have fun anymore! Here you are in Italy...away from the parentals...a teenager...surrounded by beautiful girls...and all that you can do is think of...Sam! That is just so damn stupid!

Brooke; You really hate Sam a lot!

Nicole; Yeah.

Brooke; Oh.

Nicole; Wake up before its too late, Brooke! She has ruined you. You are a free spirit. You are superior to her. You are here with me, in Italy, but you want to go back to that depressing little bitch, and her drab life? This is it, Brooke; you are a queen. You deserve a woman equal to you, wealthy, refined.

Brooke; That would be you, Nic?

Nicole; You bet. I'm the perfect lover for you.

Brooke; Despite that you prefer men?

Nicole; I swing both ways.

Brooke turns her back on Nicole, to hide the tears in her eyes.

Brooke; I can't do that, Nic. I can't use you. I don't love you that way. I was so wrong to run away from Sam. I'm still in love with her.

Nicole; (rolls her eyes, yawns, and becomes disinterested, as she begins to casually look at the magazines that are at a nearby magazine, and newspaper booth) Yeah. Whatever. I expected that kind of shit from you. Well, okay. At least I tried.

Brooke; Nic, please...I...

Several seconds pass, and Brooke with her back still turned to Nicole, suddenly finds it strange that her best friend has not spoken to her.

Brooke; Nic?

Nicole; (leaning over to look at the magazines on the news-stand) Wow! I just can't believe this!

Brooke turns around to see Nicole bent over to see the magazines on the racks. Nicole is looking at the front covers of several magazines.

Nicole; This is unbelievable! Elle. Cosmopolitan. Seventeen. She's on every one of their covers!

Brooke; What is it, Nic?

Nicole; I don't think that you're going to get Sam back so easily now, Brooke. Heck...I think that I might want her for myself now!

Brooke; (goes over to where Nic is) What are you looking at?

Nicole; I'm looking at a real hot babe! Hell...I think I just spilled my own saliva just now. Wow! What a woman!

Brooke; (shocked at seeing who is on the covers of all the magazines) Sammy?

Sam's face is on the cover of every one of the magazines on the racks of the news-stand.

Nicole; (eyes glowing with evident lust, as she grabs several magazines from the racks, and pays the man in the booth) I just can't believe this! Spam! Spammy!

Brooke; (suddenly feels dizzy, because the shock is too great for her to take) I can't believe it! Why didn't she say anything the last time I called home?

Nicole; (hardly listening to Brooke, as she greedily leafs through her magazines, looking for pictures of Sam) Stop lying, Brooke. You haven't even bothered to call home since we arrived here in Europe.

Brooke stands beside Nicole, looking over her friend's shoulder, at the magazines the girl is holding, feeling dizzier by the second. Suddenly, Brooke sees three, pretty, teenage girls approach the news-stand, and look at the screen of a small, black, and white tv set that the man in the booth has on his counter, and is also watching.

Three Girls; Samanta! Samanta!

Nicole; (suddenly interested in what is on the screen of the tv set) Oh...wow! This is just too much!

Brooke; What?

Nicole; Brooke...look who is on the tube over there!

Brooke; It can't be...but how? That's my Sammy on television?

Nicole; Well I'm not too sure that she's your Sammy anymore. Oh...wow. That's studly, sexy Paolo that she's kissing. OHWOWOW. WHAT A PAIR OF BABES!

Brooke; Sam is kissing someone else?

Nicole; Oh get over yourself, Brooke. Sam is free for the taking now!

Brooke; (glares angrily at Nicole) Shut up, Nic!

Nicole; (ignores Brooke, and goes up to the three girls that are fawning over Sam) Hey! That's Sam. I know her. I'm...I'm...HER BEST FRIEND!

Three Girls; (screaming with glee) You know Samanta?

Nicole; Yeah!

The three girls swarm all over a very delighted Nicole, as if she were a movie star herself.

Brooke; My Sammy a supermodel, and kissing some...guy?

Brooke is so overwhelmed, that she just faints.

End of Act 3.


Leslie Bibb; Brooke McQueen

Carly Pope; Samantha McPherson

Tammy Lynn Michaels; Nicole Julian

Lisa Darr; Jane McPherson

Scott Bryce; Mike McQueen

Michelle Phillips; Hellacious Ackers

Mario Lopez; Paolo

Redhead Television Interviewer; Herself


Act 4; Hellacious Ackers happens, and Nic gets lucky

Opening scene; inside airplane. Nic and Brooke are on their way back from their trip to Europe; cut short after only four, and a half months because Brooke in a jealous rage insisted on going home. Both girls are in their seats, but seem to be a world away from each other.

Nicole; (softly humming to herself, as she leafs through a pile of magazines that she keeps greedily, jealously to herself, that she won't let Brooke touch, or look at. Nicole is enjoying reading about Sam, looking at her pictures, and sighs often, looking dreamily ahead of her) Wow. What a body...oh Brooke...did you see this pic of Sam? She is wearing the sexiest, leather pants...

Brooke; (angry, and jealous) Stop that, Nic.

Nicole; What? (looks up quickly from her magazine)

Brooke; Stop sighing, humming, drooling, and anything else that resembles getting horny over Sam!

Nicole; What the hell do you mean, Brookie? You are being such a bitch lately. I don't even know what you're talking about (goes back to sighing, and smiling goofily over Sam's pictures in the magazine that she is holding).

Brooke; Stop fawning, and moaning over Sammy. You're supposed to hate her, Nic.

Nicole; Are you kidding? Of course I hate her! I hate her enough to get down on my hands, and knees, crawl on all fours, and ask her to MARRY ME! (goes back to looking at her magazine) Sam is so hot! So fantastic.

Brooke; You're doing it again, Nic. You've been like this for the entire last seven days, and this entire plane trip, and I am sick of it!

Nicole; (dazed, then confused for a second) Wait a minute. (smiles in sudden understanding) Oh. I get it. How sweet, Brookie. You're just jealous.

Brooke; (angry) You are so damn obnoxious, Nic! I am so not jealous!

Nicole; (delighted to see her friend's obvious mental torment, and willing to milk it to the end) You are too jealous; so much that you are already pea soup green!

Brooke; Shut up, Nic. I am not so. I just got sick, and tired of Italy.

Nicole; Heh. Yeah, sure. (rolls her eyes with evident sarcasm) You've only been foaming at the mouth with pure rage since you saw pictures of Sam posing almost in the nude in Cosmo.

Brooke; (finally fed up with pretending, crossing her arms) Okay! I admit it. Are you happy? But just the same; SAM IS MY GIRLFRIEND! So stop drooling over her!

Nicole; Since when is Sam your private, personal property? You ran out on her. Remember that one, Brookie? (Nicole sticks her tongue out at Brooke) That fab girl is up for grabs now; Sam is public now; free and clear! Well I think she is, unless that Paolo guy hasn't already gotten his dick inside her already, and I don't care cause I want both of them!

Brooke; SAM IS MINE! Keep that Paolo creep if you want. But stay away from my Sammy. (pauses for a moment, and becomes repulsed) Eeewww...you are just so sick, Nic! A threesome?

Nicole; (goes back to reading her magazine, humming, and ignoring Brooke) Oooooooooohhhhhh wow!

Brooke; (irritated with Nicole) What is it now, Nic?

Nicole; Were you ever stupid to leave Sam. I just found a picture of her in the skimpiest, sexiest, two-piece bikini...wow...um (Nicole's eyes glaze over with lust). What a bod!

Brooke; (still angry, jealous, and horny) What? (grabs magazine out of Nicole's hand) Where is she?

Nicole; She's in that third pic with Paolo. Have you seen his eyes? He is such a dreamy guy!

Brooke; I wouldn't know about that, Nic. Unlike you, I only swing one way; I'm a lesbian.

Nicole; Oh, those two are such a hot pair! Brunettes! I love brunettes (Nicole spaces out for several seconds, as nude images of Sam and Paolo invade her mind). Um...

Brooke; My Sammy is so beautiful.

Nicole; Uh...Brookie...did you ever sleep with Sam?

Brooke; No. We didn't get that far.

Nicole; (shocked) And you ran out on her without even knocking her up? You mean she was still a virgin when you left?

Brooke; Is. Sam is still a virgin.

Nicole; (guffawing loudly) Are you kidding me Brooke? Do you really believe that? I've been reading about Sam, and Paolo in the gossip columns of my magazines; I think he really did get his dick in...

Brooke; (glaring angrily at Nicole) Shut up, Nic! Sammy is still a virgin!

Nicole; Why should she still be a virgin, Brooke? For you? Do you really think that hot babe is still pining away for you?

Brooke; I thought that you were on my side, miss secret admirer/pining away for me with unrequited love/propositioning me on the side. I thought you wanted to be my lover, and get Sam out of my heart.

Nicole; (grinning) Old news, Brookie! Now I'm Sam's slave!

Brooke; (glaring dangerously at Nicole) Shut up, Nic! Sam is mine!

Nicole; (snickering) Yeah, right!


Cut away to new scene; the airport, busy with traffic, backed up counters with people lined up waiting to verify their flights, busy flight attendants, people coming, and going in different directions, airport security guards. Mike, and Jane are sitting in a row of seats, next to each other, holding hands.

Jane; So, Mike. Why are you staring at Sammy, and Paolo?

Sam, and Paolo, who are sitting a few rows in front of Mike, and Jane. Sam, and Paolo are cuddling like two lovers, and holding hands.

Mike; I don't really know why, but I don't like that Paolo clown.

Jane; (delighted) You are acting so fatherly with Sam.

Mike; Well, we are married now, Jane. Sam is almost legally mine...I am adopting her. So yes, I am her father-figure. Its my job to look out for her. I just don't like the liberties that soap actor is taking with Sam.

Jane; I know, Mike. I don't like all of the publicity that she's been getting, or her hectic schedule with modeling, and acting. It almost interrupts her schooling.

Mike; Aaawww. Poor baby. Don't tell me that you don't like seeing her on the soap opera. Don't even say that you don't cry while watching a soap opera.

Jane; (swats Mike playfully) Stop that! I do not cry!

Mike; You are such a sap! I've seen you!

Jane; (distracted) Hey, Mike. Didn't you hear that?

Mike; (still watching Sam, and Paolo cuddling) What?

Jane; They just announced Brooke's flight; its just landing. We should be seeing her come down the runway soon.

Mike; (almost tearful) My baby is home.

Jane; (smiling) You are such a motherly sap.

Mike; (distracted again by Sam, and Paolo) That Paolo freak is heading south right now! He is taking too many liberties with Sam!

Jane; Mike! Brooke is coming! Pay attention, and stop eyeing Sam, and Paolo.

Mike; (nonchalantly, still watching Sam, and Paolo kissing) Yes, dear.

Jane gives up because she is aware that Mike is under the same spell as the rest of the world, which has fallen in love with Sam's beguiling, stunning, exotic beauty.

Cut away to Sam, who is smiling, sitting next to Paolo, with her head on his shoulder. Paolo has his arm around Sam's shoulders, and is whispering in her ear, making her giggle.

Paolo; Sammy, why don't we get away for a while? We can go to Europe for a month.

Sam; But what about the soap?

Paolo; I can have the director write us out of the plot lines for a while.

Sam; (impressed) You can do that?

Paolo; I'm almost a god, Sammy. I can do a lot of things. I have many skills!

Sam; Really?

Paolo; (shaking head, and laughing) Okay. The truth is that the director owes me a few favors.

Sam; That's much better now.

Paolo; So, what do you think, Sammy? Just the two of us. Bumming around Europe for a month.

Sam; (snuggles up to Paolo) I like the idea. But I have to ask mom, and Mike.

Paolo; Damn!

Sam; (giggling) I still am a minor, Paolo.

Paolo; I keep forgetting that, baby. Its just that you make love like a woman!

Sam; I am a woman, you fool. Your woman.

Paolo; Hhhmm. I think your dad doesn't like me too much.

Sam; Mike's okay. He just misses my step-sister, so he indulges his father side on me. Otherwise he pretty much ignores me when Brooke is around.

Paolo; So step-sis is arriving today, so that Mike can go back to ignoring you, and I can have you all to myself?

Sam; Her plane just landed, you moron.

Paolo; (faking mock hurt look) Oh how you abuse tender, fragile me.

Sam; (still giggling) Alright already! Mike will go back to ignoring me pretty much, and back to obsessing over her, and leave us alone!

Paolo; (kissing Sam briefly on the lips) Did I ever tell you that you are the sexiest girl that I have ever dated"

Sam; When are you going to tell me that I am going to be the last girl that you will ever date?

Paolo; You're getting territorial on me again, Sammy.

Sam; Well...

Sam is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a tall, gorgeous blond that stands in front of her, and Paolo.

Newcomer; Pauley?

Paolo; Hellacious?

Paolo, and Hellacious Acker, elegant, older woman with her hands on her hips face off.

Hellacious; (angry, and indignant) What is the meaning of this?

Paolo; Well...uh...

Sam; What is going on here, Paolo?

Hellacious; (smirking, looking at Sam up and down) Well, Pauley. This time you got a really young one.

Sam; (angry, indignant) What do you mean? What right do you have to speak to my boyfriend like that?

Hellacious; I have more rights than you do, girlie!

Sam; Don't call me that! Who the hell are you anyway?

Hellacious; I'm Paolo's wife!

Cut away to the the newly arrived plane; Brooke and Nicole are walking down the runway.

Brooke; (catching sight of Sam, her breath hitches, and she smiles) Its Sammy!

Nicole; (excited) Yeah! And she's with that studly Paolo!

Brooke; Hold your horses, Nic. Sam is mine!

Nicole; (sticking her tongue out at Brooke) Sam isn't alone, Brooke.

Brooke; (glares at Nicole) Just shut up, Nic!

Cut away to Mike and Jane.

Jane; What is going on over there? Who is that woman that is arguing with Sammy?

Mike; (smiling with glee) Wow! It looks like Paolo the clown is going to get his damn ass whooped!

Jane; I don't get what you mean.

Mike; (sighing in exasperation) And you call yourself a woman, Jane? What you are clearly seeing is another one of Paolo's floozies (pointing at Hellacious) coming to set things straight with that two-timing jerk!

Jane; (aghast) Are you calling Sam a floozy?

Mike; (smiling) Well...she's OUR floozy.

Cut away to Brooke's shocked face, as she stands just three feet away from Sam, Paolo, and Hellacious, watching in disgust the scene unfolding before her eyes.

Sam; (shocked) You're married, Paolo?

Paolo; (fidgety, and nervous) I can explain this, Sammy.

Hellacious; (sarcastic) Yeah. This I have to hear. Go on, Pauley, baby. Explain it all to her.

Paolo; Just shut up, Hellacious!

Sam; (irritated, arms crossed, tapping her foot) Well, Paolo?

Hellacious; Don't worry, little girl. He does this all of the time. I'm actually quite used to this!

Sam; (enraged, pushes Hellacious back a few inches) I am not a little girl, okay? Stop calling me that. Paolo said...

Hellacious; (matter of factly, as she pushes Sam back) you are young enough to be this jerk's daughter.

Sam; (pushes Hellacious back, as she begins to lose control) Stop that! (turns to Paolo, with furrowed brow, and an angry glare in her eyes) Paolo?

Paolo; (nervous, helpless look on his face, shaking his head) What can I say?

Hellacious; (with an evil grin) Not much.

Paolo; (trying to gather his feeble manhood as he faces Hellacious. He swallows hard) I love Sam, Hellacious. I'm going to marry her!

Cut away to Brooke's pale, shocked face.

Brooke; WHAT?

Nicole; Wow!

Cut back to Sam, Paolo, and Hellacious.

Sam; (smirking in triumph, as she feels Paolo's arm around her waist) Looks like this is over...whatever your name is!

Hellacious; My name is Hellacious Acker. (turns to Paolo) So you finally have some balls, huh Pauley?

Sam; (indignant) I'll have you know that Paolo has a lot of balls. He is fabulous in bed!

Cut away again to Brooke's indignant, shocked, pale face.


Cut away to Nicole's ecstatic expression.

Nicole; Oh my God!

Brooke; This is a nightmare!

Nicole; Looks like your little Sammy isn't so little anymore, huh, Brooke? She got her cherry popped by a gorgeous hunk!

Brooke; (glaring angrily at Nicole) Shut up, Nic!

Cut away again to Hellacious, Paolo, and Sam.

Sam; My name is Samantha. Sam to my friends. Samantha to YOU.

Hellacious; (looks at Paolo with a smile) Looks like you picked one with backbone than you this time, huh Pauley? Tell me. Does she play butch in bed with you?

Paolo; Hey!

Cut away to Nicole's excited, reddened face, then to Brooke's still shocked expression.

Nicole; WOW! OHMYGOD! Did you hear that, Brookie? I think I'm in love!

Brooke; Shut up, Nic!


Cut away to Hellacious, Paolo, and Sam

Hellacious; (bored) Well you know the drill, Pauley; the money is all mine, so you are going to have to really work for change.

Paolo; (suddenly worried, nervous) Um...

Sam; (with arms crossed, fighing stance) Paolo doesn't need or care about money! He is willing to give up all kinds of luxury just to work hard, and be with me!

Hellacious; (smirking evilly) Oh really? Is that so, Pauley?

Paolo; (still nervous, and fidgety) Um...

Cut away to Mike, and Jane, who have been watching the scene between Sam, Paolo, and Hellacious develop into a soap opera-like drama.

Mike; (angry) That's it! I'm gonna beat that bastard up!

Jane; Mike...don't interfere.

Mike; I have to do something, Jane. That freak is making a fool out of Sam!

Jane; Well, yeah. You're right...

Cut away again to Hellacious, Sam, and Paolo.

Sam; (irritated by Paolo's obvious indecision) Well, Paolo? (still looking expectantly at Paolo) tell her that you don't need her damn money. We're going to get married, and work hard!

Paolo; Who said anything about marriage?

Hellacious; (almost laughing) You did, asshole!

Sam; (furious) Paolo!

Hellacious; Oh...this is getting good now!

Suddenly a thud is heard; Paolo is attacked from behind. Mike has grabbed Paolo from behind, and now both men are struggling, punching each other on the carpeted, airport floor.

Jane; (rushing forward, looking down at Mike and Paolo) Mike! Don't!

Sam; (shocked, as she leans next to Jane) Yeah, Mike!

Brooke rushed forward into the sudden disarray, pushes Hellacious to one side, grabs Sam by the arm, and makes the girl face her.

Brooke; (furious, jealous, not really looking at her father possibly getting beaten to a pulp, interested only in Sam) What is this? What is this shit about you being this jerk's floozy?

Sam; (angry, still resentful with Brooke for leaving her, looks back in defiance, smiles haughitily) Paolo is not a jerk. Besides, you ran out on me anyway, so what I do is not any of your business anymore!

Brooke; YES it is!

Sam; NO its not!

Brooke; (now looking down at her father and Paolo beating each other to a pulp) Stop that, dad! (looking back at Sam) It is too my business. My father is involved. That's my dad getting kicked around my your stupid...jerk!


Hellacious; (savoring the confusion) Oh! This is just so much fun!

Sam; (hands on hip, defiant, standing nose to nose with Brooke) Paolo may be a two-timing pimp, but he is certainly not a JERK!

Cut away to Hellacious and Nicole, both with a mischievous look in their eyes, and an evil grin on their lips.

Hellacious; Oh. This is almost better than an orgasm.

Nicole; Oh. Yes. I agree. (extends her hand to Hellacious) You're Hellacious Acker, aren't you?

Hellacious; (impressed) You know my name?

Nicole; (smiling proudly) Oh of course I do. You're a very wealthy, gorgeous, well known bitch. I'm one too, albeit still unknown. But you are one of my idols, and an example I pattern myself after!

Hellacious; (impressed, takes Nicole's hand in her own) Well. Now I feel much better. Bitches are so unappreciated these days. What's your name?

Nicole; Nicole Julian; up and coming queen bitch.

Hellacious; (giving Nicole her personal card) Call me sometime so that we can spend some quality time together...that is if you swing both ways?

Nicole; (understanding, nodding in reply) Yeah. (winks back) I get it. I will. Thanks.

Hellacious; I think my work is done here. now its your turn to do some

damage (Hellacious elegantly turns around and walks away).

Cut away briefly to Mike and Paolo still rolling around punching each other, while three airport security guards come running toward them.

Cut away to Sam and Brooke suddenly facing off;

Brooke; (angry) This is all your fault McPherson. You're always making trouble.

Sam; Who cares what you think McQueen! You're invisible around here anyway!

Brooke; (still glaring) What does that mean?

Sam; I'm expecting you to run any minute now. You always do when you see trouble brewing. You cant face life like an adult. That's why you ran away to Europe with Nicole!

Brooke; You are such a bitch McPherson!

Cut away to Jane, who is momentarily distracted away from Mike and Paolo fighting by her two daughters bickering pettily.

Jane; Well some things never change.


Cut back to Brooke and Sam;

Sam; that would be you Brooke; running out on me. But its so old history now cause I'm over you anyway!

Brooke; (calming down, realizing that she has made a mistake by scolding Sam, that she will never get the girl back that way) Sammy...

Suddenly another thud is heard, as Brooke is roughly pushed aside by Nicole, who can no longer contain herself, and lunges forward at Sam. Nicole catches Sam by surprise; the two girls fall to the carpeted floor Sam on the bottom, Nicole on top. Nicole starts to kiss Sam on the mouth forcefully. Brooke leans over them, trying to pull Nicole off Sam.

Brooke; (enraged) Get off her Nic! Sam is mine!

Nicole; Mmmppphhh! (clings to sam with all of her might, and keeps kissing Sam)

Suddenly all hell breaks loose as camera lights start to flash. A crowd has gathered around the small, dramatic scene of Sam being assaulted by Nicole, and Brooke assaulting them both. Suddenly a newscrew appears, and starts filming. A pretty redhead in a business suit, with a microphone leans over Sam, Nicole, and Brooke.

Redhead Television Interviewer; So it looks like popular soap opera actress of "Sinful Passions," Samantha McPherson has done it again! Another deliriously horny fan has attacked her, and another one is waiting to take her turn; news at six on channel 17!

End of Act 4


Leslie Bibb; Brooke McQueen (Samantha's step-sister, and secret lover)

Carly Pope; Samantha McPherson (Brooke's step-sister, and secret lover)

Lisa Darr; Jane McPherson (Sam's mom)

Scott Bryce; Mike McQueen (Brooke's dad)

Tammy Lynn Michaels; Nicole Julian (Brooke's best friend)


Act 5; Jane Goes Ballistic, Sam Gets Punished, Mike Wants to Get Punished, Nicole Sneaks In, Hellacious Reveals Her True Intentions!

Opening scene; the McQueen household, the living room, where Mike with one black eye, a bandaged forehead, smiling with several front teeth missing, is sitting next to a very nervous, fidgety Sam, who is sitting next to a very resentful, jealous Brooke. All three of them are watching a very nervous, enraged Jane, who is clearly the head of the household, pacing to and fro in front of the couch, with an angry scowl on her pretty face.

Jane; I can't even begin to believe how much of a fool I've been!

Sam; (clearly embarrassed as she addresses her mother) Um...mom...I...

Jane; (Jane stops pacing, leans over, putting her rage reddened face to Sam's, looking the girl, angry eye to nervous, twitching eye) So, Samantha McPhe...

Mike; (butting into his wife's unfinished comment) Samantha McQueen McPherson! I'm adopting her, Jane! Remember?

Jane; (throwing mike an angry glare) Stay out of this, and wait your turn, mister!

Mike; (withers, and looks down) Yes, Dear.

Jane; (leaning back down, staring at Sam directly in the face ) Alright McPherson... McQueen, or whatever the hell! You are only seventeen years old, and sleeping with a thirty three year old man?

Sam; (nervous) He turns 33 next month, mom...(shies away from Jane as she speaks).

Jane; You are still a minor, Sam. There is absolutely no excuse for what you have done! I should have that Paolo freak charged with rape!

Sam; (deflated) Aaaaww mom...

Mike; (butting in again) Oh well...Paolo the freak did mention something about suing me for disfiguring his stupid face which is the primary source of his livelihood!

Jane; (glaring angrily at mike again) Oh I took care of that. (glances at Sam) I spoke to his charming wife, Hellacious. She promised to keep Paolo from suing Mike (looks back straight into a now trembling Sam's face) and she will keep Paolo at home if I keep little Sammy in her play pen.

Brooke picks a most inopportune moment to start giggling. Sam glares angrily at Brooke, who shrugs, and looks back apologetically at her.

Jane; Now about a minor going to bed with an older man; specifically MY minor aged daughter whom I did mistake for a clean, decent, virgin girl...

Suddenly raucous laughter is heard from outside amid choking and the word virgin, which seems to have struck an amused chord with someone. Jane goes, opens the window next to the door, and finds someone is spying.

Jane; Nicole? What? Get the hell in here right now!

Jane opens the front door to find Nicole wearing combat sweats, with grease on her cheeks, looking like an amateur wannabe mercenary soldier standing at the door.

Jane; Come in here right now young lady, and sit down!

Nicole, (blushing) Hi, Mrs. McQueen (looks down ashamedly, walks in, sits next to Brooke who glares angrily at her).

Brooke; What are you doing here Nic? Are you following Sammy?

Nicole; (snickers) Well of course I am, Brookie!

Brooke; Just shut up Nic!

Jane; (takes back control of the situation, and everyone's attention) Okay now. The rules are changing around here; mainly for you Samantha!

Brooke; (unable to contain her glee) Hooraaayy!

Sam; (glares angrily at Brooke, then looks shyly at her mother) Mom?

Jane; (leans down to stare directly, eye to eye at Sam) You are still a minor under my strict supervision. You will do exactly what I say! No more Paolo for you! No more men until you are twenty one! From now on I am not letting you out of my sight for one single moment!

Sam; But mom...aren't you a successful real estate agent? What about your clients? You can't be with me constantly (hopeful that she can find an  excuse to get out of this).

Jane; (suddenly confused) Yeah...that's right. I do work. Mike will take care of you!

Sam; Mom, Mike works too. He's an investor, and stuff like that.

Jane; I know what you're trying to do, Sam. It wont work. You aren't getting out of this. I might even prohibit you from ever modeling, or doing that stupid soap again.

Sam; Please mom don't! It will pay for college for me...and Brooke.

Brooke; (surprised) Sammy? (tearing up) You would do that for me?

Jane; (almost convinced) Yeah you are right but still...

Brooke; Mom, I have an idea how to fix this!

Jane; Yeah Brooke?

Brooke; Well I'm not a virgin either. I fooled around in Europe with Nic. Why don't you ground me and Sam at the same time mom? You can also punish Nicole by not letting her anywhere near Sammy, because she was such a bad influence on me!

Sam; (still resentful) Stay out of this Brooke! (suddenly puzzled by Brooke's last sentence) That doesn't make sense!

Nicole; (angry, shocked, terrified that Brooke might actually succeed in keeping Sam away from her) What? Hey wait a minute! You can't do that!

Jane; (leans down to stare a terrified trembling Nicole in the eyes) Oh really? I wonder...Nicole; your mom will love hearing about what you and my daughter did in Europe!

Nicole; (trembling in absolute fear) Oooppsss.

Mike; (suddenly interested in what his daughter is confessing) What do you mean Brooke? How many guys did you sleep with?

Brooke; I didn't sleep with any men because I'm gay, dad.

Mike; What? (eyes almost popping out of his head)

Jane; (glares at Mike) Wait your turn mister. I'm not happy with you either!

Mike; (withers again, and looks down) Yes, dear.

Jane; (eye to eye with Brooke) So I should punish you too?

Brooke; (nodding enthusiastically) Yes mom. Please!

Jane; (suddenly confused by Brooke's willingness) Well...

Brooke; I never had a mom who cared about me. Dad was busy working, paying bills, and had no time for me. So now...you're my mom and I want to be punished too!

Jane; Aaaaww (smiling, melting) Aaaawwww shuks!

Sam and Nicole; (simultaneously choke and cough) Butt kisser!

Jane and Brooke glare at them;

Jane; Shut up Sam!

Brooke; Shut up Nic!

Jane; Okay! This is it. Sam, you will not be allowed alone time again. Brooke. you are going to be grounded for three month!

Sam; Crap! Aaawww mom!

Brooke; Yes mommie!

Jane; Brooke now you have a new job!

Brooke; (enthusiastic) I do?

Jane; You are going to be with Sam constantly. You are not to let her out of your sight for one single instant!

Sam; No way!

Brooke; (nodding vigorously with her head, and getting horny at the thought of getting Sam alone again) Oh yes mom. I'll be with her every minute!

Nicole; (scheming like an villain from an old, action movie) Not if I can help it!

Jane; Go home Nicole!

Nicole; Yes Mrs. McQueen (leaves couch, then opens door and leaves, but winks at Sam) Bye bye Sammy!

Sam; (smiling back seductively at Nicole) Bye, Nicole.

Brooke; (glaring murderously at Nicole) Go away Nic!

Jane; Okay girls; to your rooms!

Brooke; (almost drooling because she is getting Sam alone) Yes mom!

Sam; (angry and resentful) Aaaaww crap! This is so unfair!

Brooke; (grabs Sam by the arm) C'mon Sammy (winks suggestively at Sam) Let's go.

Both Sam and Brooke go upstairs.

Jane turns to look at Mike, who is grinning with eyes filled with mischief.

Mike; So mommy...is it my turn to get punished now?

Jane; (smiling evilly) Oh yes little boy. You get a spanking upstairs in our room... cut away to upstairs, in Sam's bedroom; Sam is running around the room trying to escape from Brooke.

Sam; Cut it out, Brooke! Leave me alone!

Brooke; (desperate and horny as hell) Oh please, Sammy! Its been four, and a half months! Please!

Sam; (taking a shortcut around the bed) No! I'm still mad at you!

Brooke; (eyes locked on Sam's breasts) Please, Sammy! I thought of you the whole time!

Sam; NO!

Brooke smiles evilly, then unexpectedly jumps across the other end of the room, trapping Sam who is still taking what she thought was a shortcut around the bed. Sam is now trapped in Brooke's arms, who backs both of them up, making them fall on Sam's bed; Sam on the bottom, Brooke on top.

Brooke; (dreamily, but still horny as hell) Oh Sammy!

Sam; Oh well.

end of scene 1


Scene 2


Leslie Bibb; Brooke McQueen

Carly Pope; Samantha McPherson

Tammy Lyn Michaels; Nicole Julian

Mario Lopez; Paolo

Michelle Phillips; Hellacious Ackers

Lisa Darr; Jane McPherson (Sam's mom)

Two Police Officers; themselves

Opening scene; Sam's room; bodyguard Brooke is in the bathroom using the toilet for private business, so that Sam is alone for the moment.

Sam; (sitting on her bed, fretting, angry over being punished, and about Paolo lying to her) What a two faced, fagassed pimphead Paolo turned out to be! He's married and he told me his wife was in cryogenics!

Suddenly Sam hears tapping on her window, so she gets up to open the window.

Sam; (surprised to see Nicole outside of her window, hanging on to the window ledge, and standing precariously on a tree limb of the huge tree outside of Sam's window) Nic?

Nicole; Are you alone?

Sam; Yeah. Brooke went to pee. What are you doing here?

Nicole; You're stupid as ever, huh Sam? Just help me in and don't ask so many questions!

Sam; Mean as ever huh, Nic? Okay. (helps Nicole climb through her window, and into her room) So what are you doing here?

Nicole; (changing from bitch mode to sweet, obsessed fan) Wow Sammy...I can't believe what you've done with your life!

Sam; (confused) So you just came to tell me that?

Nicole; (exasperated) No. I came to sexually assault you!

Sam; Oh...

Nicole; Oh...Sammy! You are just so cool...so dreamy!

Sam; You're just sucking up to get to Paolo!

Nicole; Yeah that too!

Sam; What?

Nicole; Well its obvious that its you that I want. You are the main course. Paolo is dessert!

Sam; Nic I don't know what to say!

Nicole; You talk too much anyway Sammy!

Sam; (indignant) Hey! Is this how you sweet talk your victims Nicole?

Nicole; (fed up with waiting for Sam to make a move, pushes Sam back on her bed and straddles her) Oh now this is so much better!

Sam; You know Nic, some romancing would be nice.

Nicole; (puzzled) Romancing?

Sam; Yeah! You know. Read me poetry. Send me flowers. Give me Hershey kisses.

Nicole; Oh I get it; a Hershey kiss (leans down and squashes her lips to Sam's) Mmmmmm!

Sam; Mmmmmpphhhh!

Brooke; (finished with her private toilet duties, enters into Sam's room, smiling and anticipating another bout of lovemaking with her reluctant lover) Sammy? (stops suddenly, mouth agape, eyes almost bursting from her head, silent for various seconds as she sees Nic on top of a squirming Sam on the bed) What? Nic? Sam?

Nicole; (stops kissing Sam, looks at Brooke while still pinning down Sam who is squirming vigorously) Okay stop blubbering, you blond bimbo! Do you want me to hold up a sign with instructions? This is exactly what you think it is!

Brooke; I'm gonna kill you Nic! (lunges at Nicole)

Nicole; (quickly releases Sam) Oh wait! I hate violence! (throws herself on floor)

Brooke; (jumps on Sam's bed trying to catch Nicole)  Come here you bitch!

Sam; Hey not all over me you two goofs!

Sam manages to slip off the bed, while Nicole and Brooke fight, pulling their hair, squealing, kicking each other. Suddenly Sam hears tapping on her window.

Sam; Hey you guys stop fighting! Quick! Hide!

Brooke; What? Why? I dont have to hide cause I'm your bodyguard.

Nicole; (angry) Hhhhmmpph! Not for very long, Brookie!

Sam; (nervous) Come on you two just hide!

Brooke; But...

Nicole; (exasperated) Just stop blubbering you bimbo!

Brooke; (angry) Hey shut up Nic!

Sam; Stop dawdling, you two! (ushers both girls forcibly into her closet) Just keep quiet in there! (closes closet door)

Sam goes to the window and sees Paolo standing on the tree limb, hands on her window ledge, looking into her room.

Paolo; (handsome smiling is tapping on the Sam's window) Sammy?

Sam; (shocked) Paolo? (opens window) What are you doing here you cad?

Paolo; Sammy I love you!

Sam; (slaps Paolo) You're married you jerk! Now I'm grounded because of you! Why are you here?

Paolo: I've come to take you away!

Sam; (surprised) Eh?

Paolo; We're going to run away together, Sammy! I'll divorce Hellacious! We'll get married.

Brooke; (bursts out of Sam's closet, angry and jealous) Now just a minute! Sammy is MY girlfriend! No way she's marrying you! She's gonna marry ME!

Paolo; (startled) What's this all about Sam?

Sam; Um...well you see...

Nicole; (bursting out of sam's closet) No way Brookie! Sammy is gonna be all mine! She deserves a real woman for a change! Not a smiley faced pretty bimbo like you!

Brooke; (glares angrily at Nicole) Shut up Nic!

Paolo; (glaring at Sam) And you're mad at ME for being married? We just broke up yesterday, and you have a harem already?

Sam; (embarrassed) Just my fans?

Brooke; What? We're almost engaged Sammy!

Sam; You ran out on me, Brooke! I'm still mad at you!

Brooke; No way I'm letting you go, Sammy!

Paolo; (nervous, frightened) Sam! Help!

Sam; What is it, Paolo?

Paolo; Quick! Sam help me get inside!

Sam; No way! I'm not that stupid! My mom will kill me if she finds you anywhere near me!

Paolo; Help me Sam. Quick! I just saw Hellacious drive up. I think she's following me!

Sam; (sputtering) But...

Paolo; (making puppy dog eyes) Please Sammy!

Sam; Aaaaww (she can't resist Paolo's puppy eyes, and helps him into her room) Okay! 

Cut away to Brooke and Nicole, who are pushing each other.

Brooke; Sam is mine Nic! Go shove your bottle of blond dye up your ass!

Nicole; Sam deserves a classy chic like me! Not a second rate Barbie doll like you!

Paolo and Sam look out of her window.

Paolo; Damn! Hellacious is climbing up to your window, Sam! You have to hide me!

Sam; NO WAY!

Paolo; Please?

Sam; (shaking her head) Okay everybody, scramble! Nic, Brooke; closet. Paolo hide under the bed!

Brooke; (angry, rebellious) I don't have to hide! Sam is mine!

Nicole; (pushes Brooke into the closet) Just get in there Brooke!

Sam sits innocently on her bed.

Hellacious; (peering into Sam's window) Paolo?

Sam; He isn't here!

Hellacious; (angry and jealous) Oh yeah sure! (sarcastic) I followed that jerk all the way here! He sneaked out of the house!

Sam; Why would you think that he would come here?

Hellacious; Its the obvious choice! Now help me inside!

Sam; WHAT?

Hellacious; Help me in! The cops are following me!

Sam; No way!

Hellacious; I ran a red light, went over the speed limit and my license is expired. So just help me in!

Sam; You have go to be kidding!

Hellacious; Aaaaww c'mon (makes puppy dog eyes at Sam)

Sam; (unable to resist Hellacious's puppy dog eyes) Damn...alright! But just keep it down cause I'm grounded!

Hellacious; (smiling brightly, eyes glowing) Thanks!

Sam helps Hellacious into her room. The two women stand looking at each other in total silence for several seconds.

Hellacious; So...Paolo isn't here?

Sam; (nervously high, shrill voice) Um...no.

Hellacious; Uh...so we're completely alone?

Sam; (still same high nervous voice) Um...yeah!

Hellacious; (smiling mischievously, evil glint in her eyes) Good! (starts to edge closer to Sam)

Sam; (nervous) Why are you looking at me that way?

Hellacious; (evident predatory gleam in her eyes) I thought I'd never find an excuse to see you Sam...antha.

Sam; Um call me Sam?

Hellacious; (smiling prettily, batting her eyelashes at Sam) Aaaaww...getting friendly with me?

Sam; What do you mean? (backing away, nervous because of the odd way hellacious is looking at her)

Hellacious; Paolo is a jerk! You're too good for him Sam! (stepping closer to Sam)

Sam; Gee thanks? What do you...?

Hellacious can't hold her desire for Sam back anymore, lunges at the Sam, trapping the girl in her arms and starts to kiss her.

Sam; Ugh! What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be the jealous wife? Let me go!

Hellacious; I've been wanting to get you for myself! Sam you are the most beautiful girl that I've ever seen! You need someone a lot better than Paolo for a lover; that's me!

Suddenly the closet opens; Brooke bursts out of closet.

Brooke; (exploding in anger) Sam already has a lover; ME!

Nicole; (follows Brooke out of the closet) Hi, Hellacious.

Hellacious; (still fondling Sam) Hi honey!

Nicole; (smiling) Can we share Sammy?

Hellacious; (winking at Nicole, while still trying to subdue and kiss Sam) Sure baby...just come over here, and give me a hand. Sam is getting a bit too restless!

Nicole; (overjoyed) Sure, Hellacious!

Brooke; (glares at her best friend) Shut up Nic!

Paolo; (rolls out from under Sam's bed) You're cheating on me Hellacious?

Hellacious; (backs away from sam, smiles nervously at Paolo) Well...uh you see...

Paolo; So...

Suddenly two police officers climb in through Sam's window.

1st. Police Officer;  Ms. Hellacious Ackers? You are under arrest!

2nd Police Officer; Everyone stay where you are!

Sam; Aaaaww crap! Wait til mom finds out!

Suddenly the door of Sam's room opens, and Jane walks in.

Jane; (sees the crowd and gets furious) SAM what is the meaning of this?

Nicole; (with an evil smile) Its an orgy?

End of Act 5


Leslie Bibb; Brooke McQueen (Samantha's step-sister, and secret lover)

Carly Pope; Samantha McPherson (Brooke's step-sister, and secret lover)

Lisa Darr; Jane McPherson (Sam's mom)

Scott Bryce; Mike McQueen (Brooke's dad)

Tammy Lynn Michaels; Nicole Julian (Brooke's best friend)

Michelle Phillips; Hellacious Ackers

Mario Lopez; Paolo


Act 6; Closing the Door

Opening scene; the living room of the McQueen residence; the living room couch. Mike, bandaged, smiling with missing front teeth is sitting on one end. Hellacious, blond and beautiful is sitting next to Mike, winking suggestively at him. Sam, worried and nervous, is sitting next to Hellacious who occasionally tries to put a hand on the girl's thigh.

Brooke, blond and jealous is sitting next to Sam, almost on top of her, and constantly swatting Hellacious's hand off the girl's thigh while staring murderously at Nicole, still in battle gear and grease paint who is sitting next to Brooke.

Meanwhile, Nicole is sticking her tongue out at Brooke while snuggling up to a very pleasantly surprised Paolo who is
smiling despite several missing front teeth, and sitting on the other extreme end of the couch.

Everyone is looking at Jane, who is pacing to and fro in front of the couch with an angry look on her face.

Jane; (shaking her head angrily, with a furrowed brow) I can't believe this! You call yourselves adults?

Mike; Um...dear...am I going to be punished too?

Jane; (glares at Mike) Shut up! I'll take care of you later!

Mike; (smiling) Yes, dear.

Jane; (glaring angrily at Mike again) Well...before I take care of YOU,

Mike...(leans down to stare at a horrified Sam in the face) I have to settle this entire affair!

Sam; (terrified) But...but mom...I didn't do anything!

Jane; (straightening up again) No excuses, Samantha McPherson! I've had it with your escapades!

Sam; But none of this was my fault, mom! I swear it!

Jane; (voice rising to an ultimatum) That's it, Sam! No more modeling or acting for you! You are going back to being a regular, average teenager!

Paolo; (interrupting with a look of panic on his face) No! You can't do that!

Jane; (leaning down, face to face with Paolo) Oh yes I can, Mr. Cradle robbing, about to be accused of statutory rape asshole, because I'm her mom, because I can so shut up!

Paolo; (withering in fear) Oh...

Hellacious; (giggling) Mr. No balls!

Jane glares angrily at Hellacious.

Hellacious; (looks down shyly, but then glances up again to Jane in utter admiration) Hhhmmmm.

Jane; (focusing her attention completely on Sam like a snake hypnotizing a bird its about to swallow completely) You cannot have all of these people chasing you around, Samantha McPhe...

Mike; (suddenly interrupting Jane, flashing his toothless grin) McQueen! I'm gonna adopt Sammy! (almost posturing proudly like a jungle ape beating his chest)

Jane; (glaring angrily at Mike once more) Shut up Mike! (warning tone)

Mike; (eyes glowing at Jane's evident irritation) Yes dear.

Jane; (turning her attention back to Sam) You have to pick one of these people here to be your permanent lover!

Sam; (deflated) Just ONE?

Jane; (enraged now) SAM!

Sam; (resigned) Aaawww...oh alright!


Sam; I...I can't...I need to think!

Jane; NOW!

Sam; But...

Jane; NOW!

Everyone is staring expectantly at Sam who is suddenly feeling VERY small.

Jane; (impatient) Well?

Sam; (nervous and fidgety) Okay! I...I...pick...Brooke!

Brooke; (eyes wide, mouth agape, skin color suddenly pale pea green) Me? Sammy? Wha...

Silence falls upon the scene for several seconds as all eyes fall on Brooke. Then everyone ponders Sam's decision for several seconds more.

Paolo; (shrugging his shoulders, nonchalant, getting up from the couch) Well...this has been fun but its my cue to get out of here! (turning to Sam) It was nice knowing you Sammy!

Sam; (rolls her eyes in utter sarcasm) Yeah. Whatever!

Nicole;(getting up from the couch, smiling, batting her eyelashes at Paolo) Hey! I'm leaving too. Can I go with you?

Paolo; (smiling down at Nicole, offering her his arm) What's your name little girl?

Nicole; (taking Paolo's arm) I'm Nic!

Paolo; Are you interested in bumming around Europe with me with nothing to do, Nic?

Nicole; Yeah! (wide grin) I love bumming! (takes Paolo's arm and walks away with him)

Paolo; (smiling broadly) We can go in my private plane!

Hellacious; (cynical) You mean MY private plane, jerkowitz!

Paolo; (rolling his eyes) Details details! Just come along Hellacious!

Hellacious; (turning to Jane and Mike) Why don't we all go?

Jane and Mike; What?

Hellacious; (smiling seductively) I just love strong women and men in bandages! (holds out both of her arms to Jane and Mike)

Mike; I have a conference tomorrow!

Jane; I have a house to sell!

Hellacious; Come on!

Jane and Mike look at each other and smile.

Jane and Mike; What the hell!

Jane; Lets go Mike!

Mike; (smiling) YES DEAR!

Both Jane and Mike take Hellacious's arms, and walk out the door with her between them, followed by Paolo and Nicole, also arm in arm.

Brooke and Sam are left alone.

Silence reigns for several seconds as both girls stare at each other on and off at each other. Sam is nervous. Brooke is grinning goofily.

Sam; (breaking the silence with a heavy sigh) Well I'm back to being a nobody!

Brooke; (still gazing at Sam in adoration) No, Sammy. You're not just any nobody.

Sam; That sure doesn't make any sense!

Brooke; (still smiling, snuggling closer to Sam) You're MY nobody!

Sam; (finally smiling) Yeah. I guess that makes things a whole lot easier.

Brooke; I love you Sammy.

Sam; I love you too Brooke.

Both girls embrace and kiss on the lips.

Fade out and curtain falls.

End of Act 6

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