Trivial Disturbances On the Way To Sam's Heart

| Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 |

by Balticbard


disclaimer; Popular belongs to someone else and is copyrighted. No infringement intended, no profit will be made from this story.

Warning; adult contents, not to be read by minors.

Author's note; Sam and Nicole stories are indeed nice, but I will always prefer Sam and Brooke. Its just my nature.

Warning again; shallow, silly, aimless...
Brooke taking advantage of Sam.
Brooke pushing Sam around.
Brooke playing mind games on Sam.
Nicole generally being a busybody.

chapter 1; Same old, same old...

Brooke was feeling bitchy and there was nothing that she could do about it. The lanky girl had spent all morning trying to get into her sickeningly sweet Barbie mode, but it was no use at all to keep trying. Brooke had tried prayer, meditation, feeling politically correct, lighting incense, chanting and even self hypnosis by staring at herself in her bathroom mirror for about ten minutes while she smiled sweetly. Sam had come into the bathroom twice, had stared at her for about ten seconds, then left Brooke while giggling. Still the bitchiness clung to Brooke like a second skin, refusing to leave lest the blond girl expressed it.

"Yeah!" the blond girl yelled, caught in a flurry of excitement over her own startling and prodigious intelligence, "I'll let it all out!" But woe...who would be the victim of Brooke's unfulfilled meanness? "Lemme see..." the blond pondered to herself, "dad ignores me...Jane is too nice...Josh ignores me...Nic's claws are sharper than mine...Mary Cherry is too stupid...I respect Lilly...Harrison is boring...I feel sorry for Carmen...Sugar Daddy is too cute!" Brooke scaled quickly down the list of names, "its Saturday...I'm bored. I've run out of candidates...except for one...YES!" Brooke had finally found herself the perfect victim upon which to bestow her blond wrath...SAM!

Sam was nearly four inches shorter than Brooke, delicate, hot tempered yet physically non-violent, "she's absolutely perfect for me!" Brooke thought with a grin, "I'm bigger and stronger than she is!" Brooke had been sitting in bed, bored out of her mind, "now I have something to do!" Brooke got out of bed, pulled herself together and marched through the open door that connected her room to the bathroom. With gritted teeth, clenched fists, the lanky blond trudged on throwing open the next door of the bathroom that connected to Sam's room, "SSSSSAAAAAAMMMMM!" Brooke's cry echoed through the entire house.

"Yeah?" came the reply.

Samantha, stunningly beautiful, taciturn and stoic, pale complexioned brunette sat at her desk staring stupidly at the computer screen before her dark eyes, while her fingers hovered gently over the keyboard with the intention of writing...


Sam scratched her dark head, frowned in disgust then sighed in defeat. Officially Sam had contracted the worst decease that event the most brilliant writer dreads; she had writer's block.


"Not now Brooke. Go away!"

Oh good! Oh joy! Brooke felt her heart lurch to almost orgasmic heights at the discovery that Sam was in a foul mood, "Sam!"

"Oh damn! I haven't got a clue for an article! What am I ever to do?" Sam wrung her dainty hands in despair.

"Stop ignoring me McPherson!"

"Its my way of coping with reality McQueen!"

"Just another pill you take for your stupidity Sam?"

"You ARE the pill Brooke!"

Oh glory! Oh my! Brooke was elated as blood rushed through her at lightning speed; Sam was fighting back. "And you're a pain in the ass McPherson!"

"Oh...whatever!" Sam rolled her eyes, "I can't deal with you right now Brooke! I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO!" Sam shut Brooke out, and went back to staring at her computer screen.

Oh no! Oh crap! Brook frowned because this wasn't good; Sam was IGNORING her. No. That just wouldn't do. Not at all!



Brooke stiffened and took a warrior's fighting stance, "Josh thinks that you're a ho!"


"Nic is a lesbian and wants to have sex with you!"

"Heh...she has good taste."

"I took Harrison's virginity Sam!"

"Lucky you. Enjoy."

"Lilly should get slapped around for having a big mouth!"


"Carmen is a fat cow!"

"Poor thing."

"Emory is in love with you."

"Been there..."

"I don't think that you should date George cause he's black!"


Brooke was exasperated at seeing Sam continue to ignore her despite every jab thrown at her. So Brooke squared her shoulders and brought out her heavy ammunition; "Sam...I sneaked into your room last night when you were out with George and erased all of the files on your computer!"

"Wha..." Sam suddenly got up from her swivel chair and turned to Brooke, "" Sam was deathly pale now, ""

"Yep." Brooke felt huge now, "I erased ALL of them!"

"Oh..." Sam was suddenly feeling faint.

"All those pictures of nude men with erections!"

"Ohmygodno!" Sam started to cry.

"The entire file of Buffy and Spike fanfiction stories!"

"I want to die!" Sam wailed miserably.

"All your links to Goth sites!"

"No!" Sam had started spouting smoke from her full, ruby lips, ""

"All of the articles that you've ever written!"


Brooke wanted to jump around in pure, undiluted pleasure and triumph at the sight of Sam's rage reddened face, with long hair extended out stiffly like dark, wooden tendrils, with eyes lit up like small fires. Brooke felt truly alive at that moment as her bitch mode was finally completely fulfilled at the sight of Sam turned into a mad-like bride of Frankenstein coming at her with arms extended, hands open in claw-like, menacing manner, "I am ssssssssssssoooooooo COOL!" Brooke thought.

But Brooke's smile soon faded, then terror seized her as she yelped in fear while her bitch mode disappeared as she began to run for her very life from a wild, furious Sam's whose eyes now had a murderous glint in them, "but Sammy..."

"I'm gonna killya!" Sam screamed at the top of her voice as she pursued her blond tormentor out of her room, down the hall, down the stairs, past the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Mike and Jane sat before the kitchen counter, doing the normal cuddly kitcheny things like eating or chewing or holding hands.

Mike; Sam and Brooke are doing it again.

Jane; Yes. I know. Do we wait to stop them again?

Mike; (bringing his mug to his lips to sip his tea) Yeah. We won't to deprive the girls of their fun.

Jane; But we will intervene before they start hair pulling right?

Mike; Definitely!

Outside of the pink, lovey dovey bubble that contained and protected Jane and Mike, the nightmare continued; a screeching Brooke fleeing from an insanely angry Samantha.


"I'm gonna getcha Brooke!"

"But you NEVER get physical Sam!" Brooke yelled as she turned around the sofa for the seventh time.

"All of my PRICK pictures!" Sam yelled, "you erased them!"

"Once you see one prick they all look alike Sam!" Brooke ran around the recliner for the fifth time.

"My Goth sites!"

"Stop being so morbid and get a life Sammy!"


Sam had pulled out a flyswatter and now took swipes at Brooke's bare ankles.

"OUCH! OOOOOOOWWWWWWWOOOO!" Brooke howled in pain, "STOP THAT!"

"My Spike and Buffy stories!" Sam bellowed angrily, for she had fallen madly in love with the couple.

"I prefer Buffy and Willow!" Brooke yelled as a retort.


"Um..." Brooke stopped runing only to see that Sam was standing in the middle of the living room with a confused look on her face.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. Jane stepped out of the kitchen, walked into the living room past her two, feuding daughters, and answered the door.

Jane; (opening the front door) Oh. Hi Nicole.

Nicole; (walking into the McQueen residence dragging a crying Carmen Ferrara by the hair) Hi, Mrs. McQueen. Is Brookie home?

Jane; (shocked at what she was seeing) Um...yes, Nicole. Hello Carmen.


Nicole; (smiling) Are Brookie and Spam fighting again, Mrs. McQueen?

Jane; Yes, Nicole. Brooke and Sp...I mean...Sam are fighting again.

Nicole; Do you want me to intervene, Mrs. McQueen? Or would you rather do it?

Jane; Please do, Nicole. I know you love it.

Nicole; Oh yes indeed I do, Mrs. McQueen. Thank you so much! (Nicole walks away, pulling a crying Carmen by the hair)

Jane; Nice seeing you again, Carmen. Say hi to your mom for me.


Meanwhile, in the living room, the feuding McSisters had fallen into a petty argument;

"Buffy and Spike!"

"Buffy and Willow!"

"Willow makes me want to hurl!"

"Spike turns my stomach!"

"Willow stutters!"

"Spike farts!"

"Buffy and Spike!"

"Buffy and Willow!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"You're stupid!"

"You're retarded!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Girls don't go with girls!"

"Boys don't go with girls!"

"Yes they do!"

"No they don't!"

"Boys and boys are even better!"

"What?" Brooke was suddenly confused by Samantha's sudden comment, "what does that mean?"

Suddenly a foreign voice shattered the petty bickering; "well Spammy...I didn't think you had it in you to say it out loud!"

Brooke and Sam had been standing face to face and now turned to see Nicole enter the living room with Carmen in tow.

"Whadaya mean by that Satan?" Sam asked angrily as she faced Nicole.

"Boys on boys...hhhhmmmm," Nicole said suavely as she batted her eyelashes seductively at the taller girl, "so you get turned on by the thought of lollipops doing sodomy?"

"Um...well..." Sam was suddenly very embarrassed, "hey...why is Camen with you Satan? You don't hang out with lo...I mean...with my friends."

"Just shut up Spam."

"Go to hell Satan!"

Brooke was suddenly very jealous, "HEY SAM! You're supposed to be arguing with ME! Not with Nic!"

"I just can't believe it Brookie!" Nicole yelled, "you're jealous just because Sam is fighting with me? You're worst off than I thought!"

Sam rolled her eyes and stepped back as the two blonds faced off over her, "oh brother!"

"What is that supposed to mean Nic?"

"You know exactly what I mean Brookie!"

"No I do not! Just stay out of my way Nic! This is between me and Sam! always end up defending her and not me!"

"So what if I do?"

"You're supposed to be MY best friend Nic!"

"Why is Carmen crying Satan?" Sam asked, interrupting the battling blonds, and hugging a sobbing, unintelligible Carmen, "and why is she with you anyway? Why aren't you hanging out with Mary Cherry?"

"She likes to hurt me Sammy!" Carmen was finally able to say.

"What?" Sam left Carmen and advanced on Nicole.

"Cool off Spam!" Nicole replied cooly, "Mary Cherry is away for the month. Lilly is too drab. Josh is a lollipop. Sugar Daddy is too fat. Harrison is too stupid. Besides I found out that Carmen loves S and M...bondage!"

"Ohmygod!" Sam exclaimed, "my Carmen?"

"MY Carmen," Nicole said with a smile, "I happen to love bondage myself...I hold the whip...Carmie wears the collar!"

"Oh," Sam was uniquely embarrassed.

"Plus..." Nic was about to say something when she turned and saw Brooke consoling Carmen, "BROOKE...DON'T!"

"What is it now Nic?" Brooke asked angrily as she held Carmen close.

"Carmen just had the measles!" Nicole yelled, "and she's CONTAGIOUS!"

"Ohmygodpleaseno!" Brooke wanted to die.

"WWWWAAAAAHHHHHH!" Carmen sobbed heavily.

"What was the purpose of all this Satan?" a cynical Sam intervened.

"I wanted YOU to get the measles Spam!"

"I had the measles when I was six years old!" Sam replied and stuck her tongue out at Nicole who responded in the same manner.

What ensued next was a tongue war complete with a flood of saliva drops between Sam and Nicole that could rival the famous tongue wars between a certain Sailor Moon and her pretty Sailor Mars...

"I never had the measles!" Brooke wailed.

"Oh. Oooppss," Nicole was deeply embarrassed and apologetic, "wrong victim Brookie. I wanted Sam to get the measles and not you!"

"Get out right now Nic!" Brooke yelled.

Nicole grabbed Sam by the ear and pulled the gorgeous girl down a bit to whisper in her ear, "Josh and Harrison are lollipop lovers Spam. I can arrange it so that they "perform" for us privately. Interested?"

" them...masturbate?" Sam was getting heavily aroused, her pupils were dilating, "can...we?"

"Oh yeah baby!" Nicole whispered as she blew into Sam's small, delicate ear, "just for us!"

Visions of young, handsome, firm bodied boys with erection fucking each other flooded Samantha's mind so that she went on overload, her eyes went up into her head, she orgasmed and fainted daintily away, "oh my!"

Nicole walked haughtily past Brooke, grabbed Carmen by the hair once more, and walked away, "bye Brookie."

"I hate you Nic!"

Nicole's only reply was to giggle helplessly like a hyena in heat.

With Nicole out of the scene, Brooke quickly ran to where Sam lay beautifully in a dainty, feminine manner upon the carpet. Brooke sat upon the floor, and took Sam into her anxious arms, "Sammy wake up!"

Brooke wasn't just in bitch mode again...she was also intensely jealous which mingled with being a horny gay blond in denial about her feelings about being in love with her stunning step sister who had a penchant for gay men was a terrible combo of ingredients!


Meanwhile, the gods of the McQueen household watched from afar;

Mike; I should call Dr. Watson. He still makes housecalls.

Jane; Good idea Mike. I'm pretty sure that Brooke has the measles.

Mike; This has to be an awful day Jane.

Jane; Why?

Mike; I just found out that my little girl is gay, and obviously in love with my step-daughter.

Jane; Weird huh?

Mike; No. Not really. I guess Brooke takes after her mom, my ex-wife Kelly. She was a lesbian. Plus two of her aunts are also inclined that way!

Jane; Wow!

Mike; At least Sammy is a nice girl.

Jane; (suddenly turning pale) Ohmygodno!

Mike; (worried) What is it Jane?

Jane; Mike...Sam is a...a...FAG HAG!

Mike; (laughing) A fruit fly!

Jane; MIKE!

Mike; Uh...I'll go call Dr. Watkins.

Jane; Good idea!

Two hours later, up on the second floor of the McQueen residence, four people stood outside Brooke's room. Dr. Watkins; (slipping into his hat and coat after coming out of Brooke's room) Yes, Mike. I'm afraid that Brooke has the measles now.

Mike; Oh God! What now?

Dr. Watkins; Well had the measles...but you're pregnant and the baby won't inherit your immunity to it.

Jane; What then?

Dr. Watkins; Both of you have to leave the house for two and half weeks...until Brooke heals and isn't contagious anymore. Til then she is quarantined. Get a private nurse to take care of her!

Jane; I have a MUCH better idea boys!

Mike; What?

Dr. Watkins; What?

Sam; Yeah, mom. What?

Jane turned to face Sam along with Mike and Dr. Watkins who quickly understood just what Jane really meant.

Sam; Um...why are you guys looking at me that way?

Jane; (smiling evilly) Oh...Sam...guess what!"

Sam; (suddenly understanding what her mother meant) OOOOOOOHHHHHHHNONONONONONO!(backing away as the laughing adults advanced on her)


Fifteen minutes later...

Brooke was in bed in her pyjamas, murderously angry at Nicole and was presently envisioning different ways of torturing the pretty, little blond, "I'm gonna kill that little bitch!" Already the symptoms of the measles were starting to show up on her and the blond girl started to cry, "why me?"

Suddenly the door to Brooke's room opened, and Mike came in with an unconscious Samantha in his arms. "Daddy?" Brooke was quite surprised, "what's wrong with Sam?"

"Well," Mike said calmly, "Jane and I are staying at a hotel for the next three weeks until you get better...because of the baby!"

"Okay," Brooke replied, "but what happened to Sam?"

Mike unceremoniously dumped the unmoving Sam on Brooke's bed, next to the lanky girl, "Sam fainted when Jane and I informed her that she had to nurse you!"

"Really daddy?" Brooke was giddy with joy.

"Yep. Gotta go pack and find a hotel!" Mike explained as he left Brooke's room.

"Ohmygod...CCCCAAAAANNNNNDDDDYYYYY!" Brooke yelled as she turned in her bed and hugged Samantha.

chapter 2; A Very Strange Promise Indeed

Author's note; this story is dedicated to Kekkoen...

And Jos...I am trying to use less commas...just for you teddy bear...still waning tah git ya on a silver platter and in a thong...A RED ONE!

Quikie dictionary; lollipop; homosexual male candy girl/fag hag/ fruit fly/homo whore; a very, very rare addiction of a normally, healthy heterosexual female toward homosexual men bullyboy; heterosexual male


Brooke felt absolutely miserable, and it seemed that apart from having the measles she had everything else, "I'm nauseous...I have diarrhea...I have a migraine...I have a body hurts everywhere...and I'm so itchy I could explode!" Besides the obvious symptoms of decease, there was the fact that Brooke looked like...shit! Brooke's usually immaculate appearance was no more and that literally tormented her to no end because she was always very proud of her looks.

Now, Brooke's long, golden hair was so dark that she could pass for a blackhead. Brooke's beautiful face was marked by dozens of small red dots that made her look somewhat like a beehive. Brooke's expressive hazel eyes were swollen and red, making her look like a bug eyed monster from an old fifties horror movie. Brooke felt so awful that at times she just wanted to start screaming and not stop. The only thing that kept Brooke sane during her sickness was knowing that she wasn't alone...that Sam was just as miserable as she was, "aleluya!" The thought that Sam was suffering, cut off from her friends and unable to go anywhere made Brooke feel, "great!" It was an odd attitude that Brooke had picked up somewhere...that Sam had to be as miserable and sick as she was...that Sam had to share in all of her pain and sickness...that Sam had to sink into the very bowels of hell with her...such thoughts gave Brooke great comfort.

"Brooke...its time for your medicine!" a chirpy, female voice said from the hallway.


Brooke's delicate mouth was so full of sores, so swollen inside, that she now spoke what seemed to be a foreign language...or you could say it was a very queer sounding accent when she spoke.

"Aaaaawwww c'mon Brookie," Sam pleaded as she entered her step-sister's room with a bottle in one hand and a spoon in the other, "the doctor said you need to have lots of cod-liver oil."

"wep!" Brooke shook her head stubbornly and crossed her arms.

"But Brooke..."

"Quequ mwop!"

"Oh...Brookie...if you're a good girl..." Sam said carefully with a fake smile, "if you swallow your medicine I'll bring your friend to see you."



"Can it Spam," Nicole said with a smile as she walked into Brooke's room.

"Niqu?" Brooke was suddenly very, very angry.

Nicole tried very hard not to giggle at the awful sight of Brooke, "Aaaawww Brookie...don't be mad at me anymore...look I brought you flowers." Nicole quickly shoved a huge bouquet of pink marigolds in Brooke's face.

"OH NO!" Sam yelled instantly upon seeing the marigolds, "SATAN DON'T!"

"WHAT?" Nicole yelled in terror.

"Brooke is ALLERGIC to marigolds!" Sam yelled back.

"Oh..." Nicole said, "OOOOPPPPPSSS!"

The marigolds were stuck in Brooke's face, and the huge nuclear reaction began as her facial muscles contorted, her face began pulling backwards and her mouth opened wide, "aaaaaAAAAAAAAA...!"

"OHMYGODNO!" Nicole yelled as she backed away from Brooke's bed and headed toward the bedroom door.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Brooke was rumbling on the verge of erupting.

"Wait!" Sam yelled as she ran valiantly toward her lanky step-sister, "I can use this!"

"SPAM DON'T!" Nicole screamed, feeling sheer pity for her beautiful arch-nemesis.


Samantha leapt forward at great speed, landed in front of Brooke, then shoved a spoonful of cod-liver oil into the girl's gaping mouth, "SWALLOW BROOKIE!" Sam yelled as she forced Brooke's mouth shut with both her hands, "did you swallow?"

A suddenly very calm Brooke nodded quite politely as she looked deeply into Sam's eyes. Sam smiled and released her step-sister.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!" A huge mountain of saliva exploded from Brooke's nose and mouth, mingled with a wave of cod-liver oil that backlashed onto Sam' face when Brooke sneezed.

Silence filled the room for several seconds while Sam stared blankly at Brooke, and fluttered her eyelids wildly. But finally Sam awoke from her momentary lapse into nothingness by the sound of Nicole's wild, almost convulsive giggling.

"" Nicole didn't really know what to say as Sam glared murderously at her, "um...gotta go!"

"I am going to tear you to pieces Nicole!" Sam said quietly as she approached the pretty little blond.

"Wow called me by my real name!" Nicole smiled despite the fact that she was backing away with the urge to run, "does this mean we're buddies?"

"I'm gonna ground your bones into FACE POWDER!" Sam screamed with all of her might, "I'm gonna make ROPE outta yer HAIR!"

"Don't get all bent out of shape Spam...remember your high blood pressure!"

For a moment Sam paused, confused at Nicole's words, which made her stop in her threatening advance on the little blond, which gave the shorter girl a slim chance of escape. But of course Sam realized what Nicole was trying to do...

"I'm not stupid Satan! I'm a teenager! I'm only SEVENTEEN! I don't have high blood pressure!"

"It can never really should calm down Spammy!"

"Oh? You want me to be calm Satan? Sure...why don't you come here and let me show you the meaning of calm!"

"NO WAY!" Nicole shouted as she turned to run.

"YES WAY!" Sam shouted as she caught Nicole.

"Wait Spammy...don't hurt me or else!"

"Else what Satan? You gonna lay an egg or something?"

"You won't be able to borrow my special collector's edition of THIS!" Nicole yelled in pure triumph as she waved a magazine in front of Sam's face.

"" Sam had stood still and released Nicole, and stared at the magazine in the girl's hand, as a thin stream of drool ran from her full lips, "issue #231 of STUDLY BOYZ MAG! That's the only one I don't have!"

"I'll letcha borrow mine!" Nicole said with a smile at the sight of drool running from the girl's ruby lips.

"Yeah?" Sam was in fag heaven, "is that the one with all the latest drag queen styles?"


"Lollipops in Victoria's Secret underwear?"


"OH!" Sam cried as she stood next to Nicole, and the two of them began to look through the magazine.

Meanwhile, a mesmerized Brooke watched how her Samantha seemed to transform into a drooling Pavlov's dog at the mere sight of the magazine in Nicole's hand. Brooke internally pondered the strange concept of a normal, healthy female becoming deeply aroused at the sight of pictures of two men "fucking the shit out of each other!" Brooke was deeply perplexed, "eeeewwww!" the blond girl felt her stomach lurch at the concept because she just couldn't understand it, "must be because I'm a lesbian!" The words exploded in her head as she thought them, as Brooke's flimsy veil of denial was finally torn away, "I AM...I'M A LESBIAN!" the lanky girl thought to herself. Brooke suddenly felt truly free for the first time in her young life, "and...and I'm in love with my Sammy!" Brooke felt a rush of joy rise through her that was quickly transformed into rage at the sight of Nicole brazenly flirting with her girl, "that...that homo whore wants MY Sammy!"

Meanwhile, Nicole was striking pretty poses and batting her eyelashes flirtatiously at Sam, "We should get together to watch some porn lollipop videos Spammy...I have dozens of them!"

"Didya ever see the one called Babes With Beautiful Butts?" Sam asked.

"YEAH!" Nicole yelled, "FIVE TIMES!"

"Ohmygod!" Sam yelled, "do you remember the part where Jake and..."

"And Brian finally confess their feelings for each other and fuck the hell out of each other?" Nicole completed Sam's sentence, "yes I did...its my FAVEST!"



"SOULMATES!" Sam and Nicole yelled at the same time and began to bond.

"SSSSSTTTTTHHHHAAAAAMMMMMMYYYYY!" Brooke's unexpected wail broke Sam and Nicole's heavenly revelry and sisterhood.

"What did she just call you?" Nicole began to giggle helplessly.

"Stop that Satan! She's sick...she has a...a...a speech impediment right now!"

"THAMMY?" Nicole's giggle had evolved into bellowing laughter.

"STHAMMY!" Sam corrected angrily.

"WWWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Now Brooke really let loose.

"Aaaaaawwww...that is SO CUTE!" Nicole exclaimed amid her giggles, "Brookie wookie likes Spammy poo!" the little blond was beside herself with evil joy.

"Oh gee!" Sam rolled her gorgeous eyes, "you LOVE to ruin a moment Satan!"

Nicole was literally howling now with laughter, "Brooke likes you likes you Spammy!"

"Stop saying that Satan!"

"Chwak ope Niqu!" Brooke exclaimed as she turned a deep shade of jealous green.

"Oh my!" Nicole was out of breath now, "please don't bother to throw me out...I'll go before I choke to death laughing!"

"GOOD RIDDANCE!" Sam yelled as she watched Nicole depart from Brooke's room.

"WD WEEDANCE!" Brooke echoed.

The remnants of Nicole's distant echo floated back from beyond the now closed front door; "eeewww Spammy...WASH YOUR FACE!"

"Oh. Ooooppppsss!" Sam was quite embarrassed,

"damn...double-triple damn..." the beguiling girl cursed as she was suddenly seized by dizzy spells.

"Sthammy!" Brooke exclaimed as she panicked and watched her dream girl apparently feeling sickly, "qwat gwon...ju ockueee?"

"I'm okay Brooke," Sam replied calmly, "but...but..." Sam was on the verge of tears, "Satan took the Studly Boyz magazine with her. I wanted to see it SO BAD!"

"Swat lamat!" Brooke declared angrily, spurting more saliva into Sam's face.

"Whadaya mean its sick to like lollipops?"

"Ueels o ueels no goyz o goyz!"


"SSSTTTHHHAAAMMMYYY?" the lanky girl wailed mournfully, and sputtered more saliva into Sam's eyes.

"Yeah Brooke?" Sam's tender heart was moved by her blond sister's pathetic condition.

"Ji ych!"

"You're all itchy?"

"Shesh! Gu gwat quash!"

"No you can't scratch McQueen! The boils on your skin will burst and mark your skin permanently. Do you want to look like a road map for the rest of your life?"

"op! Wut qwaque quash BAD!"

Sam felt her heart break with pity for the tormented girl so that she sat next to Brooke and hugged her close. Sam stroked the blond's face gently, "I think I have the solution Brookie."


"Wait a minute!" Sam exclaimed as she jumped back on her feet, then rushed through the bathroom that connected Brooke's room to her own, and into her room.

Brooke was left behind, her blond head spinning, her body aroused from Sam's tender touch.

Sam spilled her things about on her messy bureau until she found what she was looking for. With glee Sam returned to Brooke's room, via the bathroom once more, with a pink bottle in her hand, "look Brookie...this will help your itching...CALAMINE lotion!"


"Okay McQueen...strip so that I can rub this on your skin," Sam said as she opened the bottle of calamine lotion.

Brooke's already swollen, reddened bug eyes opened so wide that they looked like small planets orbiting her greasy head, "Quiy? !"

"C'mon Brookie!"


"Are you embarrassed?"


"Aaaaawwww," Sam tried hard not to laugh, "you don't have to be shy. Its just us here. Nobody else will see you but me. We're both girls...nothin new to see!"

"!" Brooke was indeed upset; YES they were different. Brooke was a lesbian. Sam was a candy girl...a lollipop lover!

"Come on Brooke. I ain't got all day! Strip!"

" ueelle thwack oougle nimm gway tupps mwak!"

Sam was truly astounded by Brooke's brazen proposition, "are you serious?"


"You gotta be kiddin!"


"Okay," Sam tried to control her temper, "you'll only undress if I promise to let you undress me, and touch me anywhere and anytime that you want?"



" yich BAD!"

"But I just can't..."


"Calm down Brooke!" Sam did want to help Brooke, but didn't want to agree to the blond girl's proposition.


"OKAY I PROMISE!" Sam just couldn't hold out anymore. Brooke was suddenly very quiet and still, but inside she was exploding in pure joy, "!!!!!!"

"Well?" Samantha asked as she stood by expectantly with bottle in hand, as she tapped her foot nervously.


"Come on Brooke! Strip!"

"Qwok woo!" Brooke breathed nervously as the concept of being naked in front of the girl that she loved hit her like falling into an empty swimming pool, making thousands of goose bumps erupt all over her body and right on top of the red boils on her skin. Brooke unceremoniously and with trembling hands tore off her sweaty T-shirt, then kicked off her baggy gray sweat pants. Brooke was now a nude, trembling mess still wearing her dirty white socks.

For a moment Sam stood transfixed, as her dark eyes stared in deep appreciative awe at her step-sister's body (despite living together, neither girl had ever seen each other in the nude before) "" Brooke had a tight, long and lanky, trim and tanned body. Sam just muttered to herself as she poured calamine lotion from the bottle onto her palm, even as she was surprised that her heart was beating madly and she sat next to Brooke on the bed, and began to rub the soothing lotion on the blond's arms and shoulders, "you okay Brooki?"

"Mwak rii!" Brooke sniffled as she withered in deep shame over her greasy hair and medicine breath which didn't seem to bother Samantha at all. Yet the lanky blond quivered with desire at the brunette's gentle touch on her heated skin.

"Don't fret Brookie," Sam whispered as she spread the lotion on the blond's firm abdomen, "you're the only person I know who looks beautiful even when she's a mess!" Sam was being sincere in a friendly way, but she swallowed hard when she looked up to see Brooke looking back at her goofily with that dreamy lover type gaze as she cooed in absolute pleasure, "eh...well..."

Brooke was too far gone into Sam's incredibly soft and warm touch to care about anything, so that the she leant even more into the girl's touch.

"Oh sorry Brooke!" Sam exclaimed when she finally noticed where her fingers had landed; directly on Brooke's hardened nipple!

"Trpaque twik!" Brooke blubbered desperately, quickly as she saw Sam blush deeply and look down shyly. Brooke was desperately afraid that Sam might take her hand away.

"So I keep going Brooke? You don't mind?"

Brooke simply nodded vigorously in reply thus giving her non-verbal consent.

Sam quietly poured more lotion onto her hand, then with lightest pressure the girl's long, elegant digits touched Brooke's pert breasts with long strokes. Sam lingered at Brooke's bosom for a discrete time but then moved down to her abdomen. Then Sam's pale hand went lower; deep into Brooke's pubic hair and into the folds of her vagina, "oh...ooooppppssss...I don't think..."


"Gee Brooke...I didn't go down there on purpose...but I figured you itched there too! I'm just giving you a massage...get a grip!"

Brooke's mind had shut down but her body went to the next, logical step. With desire and force Brooke grabbed Sam, then flipped her over onto the mattress. Brooke took the bottle of calamine lotion from Sam and put it aside, then straddled her step-sister and pinned her down. Sam looked up at Brooke with shock in her eyes but did nothing to stop the blond's brazen advances. Brooke went down on Sam, stretched herself out on the girl's voluptuous and slender frame, then leaned down and began to kiss her ruby lips.


The unexpected sound of a male voice shattered Brooke's lustful endeavor.

"Harrison?" Sam declared more than asked, genuinely surprised to see the boy at the doorway of Brooke's room.


"Oh brother," Sam rolled her eyes, aware of her rather guilty position under Brooke, "are you back again Satan?"

Nicole Julian's blond head and amused eyes appeared beside tall, pretty boy Harrison.


"Carm?" Sam was outraged to see a wailing and tearful Carmen appear beside Nicole, "Satan why is Carmen wearing a leash and dog collar?"

"Oh shut up Spam!" Nicole exclaimed as she led tall, chubby Carmen by a leash into Brooke's room, "is this a private party or can anyone join in?"

"!" Brooke yelled furiously.

"What is this? What is going on here Sammy?" Harrison asked in confusion, "why is Brooke on top of you? And is she speaking a foreign language?"

"And men are supposed to be smarter than women?" a cynical Nicole declared.

"iqu! Ramran!YEEQU!"

"What did Brooke just say?" Harrison asked.

Sam had managed to get Brooke off her and now sat up in the bed, "well...she said Nic...Carmen...and..."

"And what Sam?" Harrison urged.

"Brooke just called you a GEEK!"

Nicole and Carmen started laughing like a pair of drugged, screeching monkeys as Harrison fumed, then stomped out of Brooke's room.

chapter 3; This Town Ain't Big Enough!

Harrison Ford had thrown a hissy fit, and had walked out of Brooke's room, leaving four stunned females behind.

"Well Spam you did it again!" Nicole huffed.

"WWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Carmen wailed.

"Swak oqu pu!" Brooke complained.

"Oh brother!" Sam just rolled her eyes.

Brooke moved from her bed and was about to grab Sam once more, but Nicole beat her to it. With great agility and speed, Nicole grabbed Sam by an ear, then dragged her several feet away from the lovesick, lanky Brooke.

"OWOWOWOWOW!" Sam yelled, "let go of me Satan!"

"And to think I bend over backwards for you Spam McPherson!" Nicole complained angrily as she yanked on the girl's tender ear, "and you never even say thank you!"

"What do you mean say thank you?" although in pain, Samantha was deeply baffled by her arch-nemesis, "for what? You hate my guts Satan!"

"I'm just cruel to be kind Spammy!"

"But you only ever cared about Brooke, Satan!" Sam yelled.

"That was until I found out that ironically I have more in common with you than with her Spam!"

"Like what Satan?"

A weary Nicole just rolled her eyes at Samantha's apparent stupidity, "pricks, faggots, nude guys wanking off, drag queens..."



"Oh," Sam replied.

"Well I do suppose a true candy girl wouldn't know them by any other name," a defeated Nicole stated quietly.

"Well you don't have to yell or say it so loud you bitch!" Sam countered angrily, "the whole damn neighborhood will find out about me!"

"So what Spamola? The whole damn school knows what if the whole world knows about your little perversities?"

"No way the school knows!" Sam was scandalized.

"Yes they do!" Nicole countered, "just like everybody knows that Brookie is a dyke and lovesick and desperate over you!"

"That is so not true Satan!"

"SSSTTTHHHAAAMMMYYY chwat tuk cht!" Brooke declared with indignation.

"See?" Nicole said as she pointed at Brooke, "just look at her Spam! She's just looking at you and her nipples are so hard you could use them to crack nuts! She loves thickheaded jerk!"

"Well...gee..." Sam was indeed embarrassed as her dark eyes now became embarrassingly fixed on Brooke's very hardened nipples, "um..."

Nicole only rolled her eyes again, and shook her head for she too caught herself staring at the lanky blond's nipples, "anyway took me FOREVER to get Harrison to come and see you."

"Whatever for Satan?"

"You JERK!" Nicole screamed, "if you're VERY VERY nice to him...maybe...just MAYBE he and Josh will give you and me a..." Nicole was now visibly aroused, "a...private little show!"

"Ooooohhhh," Sam's mood had suddenly changed.

"Now you get it Miss Mentally Deficient?" Nicole was now bathing in cynicism.

"Hey you don't have to be so insulting Satan!"

"Oh just shut up Spam!"

"I swear of these days I'm gonna..."

Nicole just shook her blond head, "besides...Harrison is crazy about you."

"Oh?" Sam was very interested now.

"Mwat yuque vlash!" Brooke was very furious now.

"Yeah!" Nicole exclaimed excitedly, "and when I told him that the rumors about you being a candy girl were true he went out of his mind asking me to bring him here to see you right away!"

"But lollipops only go for other lollipops Satan!"

"What a bimbo..." Nicole shook her head again, "and they say blonds are the stupid ones!" Nicole tried hard to be patient, "look Spam...sometimes lollipops like to swing the other know? So they sorta look for very, very special US...but there aren't many of the lollipops are sorta...desperate...and they go crazy for a candy girl!"

"And the point is Satan?"

"If you are very nice to Harrison...and come over to my house right now...we can all see guy porn movies..." Nicole was so horny now that she had to actually fan herself.

"But I can't Satan...I'm taking care of Brookie!"

"Oh big deal Spammy...Brooke won't die if you leave her for a couple of hours of fun!"


"Cram it McQueen!" Nicole fumed, "get yourself a lesbian chic and leave Spammy alone!"

"Dlaque brunqu ique blah!"

"Why don't you go bother Lilly, Brooke?" Nicole insisted, "she likes girls too!"

"What?" Sam was flabbergasted upon hearing about Lilly's unexpected gender preference, "but..."

"Qui?" Brooke was surprised also.

"Um...go freshen up Spam!"


"OH BROTHER!" Nicole was furious, "wash your face Spam! Brush your teeth! Ya ain't exactly minty fresh after Brooke smooched ya up! You smell like a used hospital bed!"

"Ooooooooppppss!" Sam was indeed embarrassed.

"Bathroom!" Nicole pointed at the bathroom door, and insinuatingly arched her brows and winked at Samantha, "NOW!"

Sam finally understood what Nicole meant; Harrison was waiting for her in the bathroom, " sure are pushy Satan!"

"GO TO THE DAMN TOILET RIGHT NOW SPAM!" Nicole screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Alright already!" Sam said as she went into the bathroom, leaving the door ajar.

"Oh...Sammy!" Harrison was sitting on the toilet waiting for her.

"" Sam was starting to get horny.

Harrison, tall, lanky pretty boy got up from the toilet and watched the beguiling Sam as she...

"You're washing your face and brushing your teeth NOW?" Harrison was truly incredulous for he had worked hard to get his present romantic mood.

"Put a sock in it and give me five, Harry!" Sam replied testily.

Fifteen second later, Sam was ready for romance.

"That was quick!" Harrison stated with admiration.

"Okay. I'm ready for some action now Harry!" Sam said excitedly.


"Get your mind back in the gutter you moron!" Sam thwacked Harrison on the side of the head.

"Oh yeah!" Harrison breathed deeply, concentrated, closed his eyes, centered himself, meditated briefly, opened his eyes once more, smiled, then looked down at his beautiful beloved with hugely dilated pupils, "oh...Sammy," he approached the dark beauty slowly and romantically.

"Oh...Harrison," Samantha replied with a toothy, newly brushed grin that was so shiny and white it almost sparkled like sunlight.

"I've been hearing such interesting things about you Sam," Harrison whispered as he leaned down toward Sam, "that you're a VERY naughty girl...are you?" he asked breathlessly.

"Hhhhhmmmm," Samantha purred in a most sultry, feline manner that produced a huge erection for the boy, "maybe..." she smiled suggestively as her eyes glimmered at the sight of his bulging pants, "maybe I am..." she was acting flirtatious and demure ala fifties sexual ethics.

"So..." Harrison was excited for this was beyond his wildest dreams. The pretty boy didn't just fantasize about other boys, but also about one special girl in particular; his Sam, "" Harrison was hoping against hope that his little Sammy had a hankering for homosexual boys.

"Ever so much...Harry," Samantha husked as she felt an ache in her throat.

"Oh my!" Harrison was ecstatic but then calmed down, " my...rod?" the boy quivered out of breath now.

"Oh...yes," the girl replied.

Harrison said no more as he wasted no time in unbuckling his belt and dropping his jeans.

Sam's dark eyes nearly exploded out of her face and a sudden urge rose in her as she felt incredibly weak, thus having to give into the impulse to...LAUGH! "Winnie the Pooh boxers?"

Meanwhile outside the bathroom Nicole was listening as impatience loomed in her anxious bosom, "why is Spam laughing? What the hell is going on? She's gonna ruin everything!"


"Shut up Carmen!" Nicole yelled as she thwacked Carmen on the side of the head.

"Yaque mo Sthammy!" Brooke exclaimed angrily.

"Whadaya mean yer goin in there Brooke?" Nicole was shocked, "don't you DARE interrupt Spammy and Harrison!"

"ique blah dwab!"

"I am not a FAG HAG McQUEEN!" Nicole replied loudly at Brooke's insulting reference to her person, "I'm a...a..."

"Fruit fly?" Carmen commented.

"Shut up Ferarra!" Nicole thwacked poor Carmen on the side of the head once more.

"WWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Carmen was crying again.

"Mwope ope weele ack!" Brooke advanced threateningly on Nicole.

"Gee least wear some clothes if you're going in the bathroom!" Nicole said quietly.


"Yeah Brookie...yer bonkers and love nest are showin...and now I know why I'm not a dyke...cause ya ain't turnin me on!"

"NWAQU!" Brooke stuck her measled tongue out at Nicole.

Meanwhile in the bathroom...

"Stop laughing McPherson!" Harrison was turning red and wanted to die.

"I can't help it!" Sam giggled madly.

"Okay...we can save the moment!" Harrison declared in desperation as he pulled his boxers down, "just ignore them okay?"

"I'll try Harry."

"Now?" Harrison stood at attention just like his penis.

"Oh yes," Samantha was captivated by the sight of Harrison's erection, "I...I..."

"Wanna touch it Sammy?" Harrison purred.

Samantha reached out with her pale, dainty hand and began to stroke the hardened shaft as her fingers outlined the blue vein running just under the skin, as she briefly touched the cherry red top of the penis and its slightly moist opening.

"Oh...SSSSssss...AAAaaaaaa..." Harrison was seeing stars as he leaned down to kiss Sam.


"WWWWWHHHHHAAAATTTTT?" Harrison lost his moment and his erection very quickly.

"Brooke just called you a geek and a sicko!" Sam had lost her urge.

"HEY! NOBODY BUT MY MOM TALKS TO ME THAT WAY!" Harrison yelled in a rage.

"Tupps ruele puque quwat blah!" Brooke replied angrily.

"What did she say now?" Harrison was totally baffled by Brooke's seemingly alien babble.

"She just told you to get a faggot and shove it you abnormal jerk who can't even act like a normal lollipop," Sam explained nonchalantly as her eyelids began to droop with boredom.

" bitch!" Harrison stood nose to measled nose with Brooke, "I outta..."

"Um...Harrison don't do that! Don't get so close to Brooke!" Sam cautioned.

"Are you saying that I'm scared of Brooke, Sammy?" Harrison was downright furious.

"No...not really Harry...I'm sure that you're a real macho as any lollipop or bullyboy...but..."

"Then just shut up Sam and stay out of this!" Harrison warned.

"But Harry..."

"Shut up Sam!"

"Okay Harrison!"

Harrison turned to Brooke once more and shoved his reddened face into her own, "wanna piece of me dyke? Wanna fight like a man McQueer? Huh?"

Nicole stood a few feet away watching the entire scene, while rolling her eyes at the irony of it all, "a homo callin a homo a homo..."

Brooke and Harrison faced off eye to reddened, swollen bug eye over the charms of a wraithlike, beguiling brunette named Sam.

"Well dyke-girl...whatcha gonna do...just stand there and stare at me like a jerk?"

Brooke stood silent for a moment and then, "FWOP!" the lanky, measled blond girl vomited on Harrison.


"Oh Harrison," Sam interjected gently, "your mom called about twenty minutes ago to tell me to keep you away from Brookie because...YOU HAVE NEVER HAD THE MEASLES!"

"OOOOOOHHHHHHNNNNNNOOOOOO!" Harrison's whiney-white womanish-death scream echoed through the entire McQueen residence, making its very foundations quake.

"Well I did try to warn you Harry!"

Harrison ignored Sam's chiding as he rushed out of the bathroom, zipping past Nicole so fast, that the little blond was almost knocked down by the force of the wind that he left behind.

Despite her plans having been ruined, Nicole started to laugh as her evil side found amusement in the odd situation before her, and despite her deep desire to see two pretty boy lollipops playing with their "harps."

"Well...well...well," an unexpected voice said, "still being an ASSHOLE JULIAN?"

The sound of a cold, feminine voice brought Nicole out of her fit of evil laughter like a bucket of cold water on a short circuiting microwave oven, "Lilly?"

"Yep. Its me Satan!"

"Oh no."

Lillith Esposito, small, dark and angry with her pretty face masked in rage stood before the pretty little blond, "I want to know what my Carmen is doing with you, Satan?"

"YOUR Carmen?" Nicole was outraged, "she's MY Carmen!"

"No way Satan! Ferarra is all mine!"

"Go bother Brooke, Esposito! McQueer is a lesbian like you! Leave Carmen to me...she's my slave girl!"

"Hah!" Lilly interjected, "Brooke may be very pretty...but she's too thin! I'm a Latina girl! I like my women fat! Carmen is my MATTRESS!"

"" not even Nicole had a comeback for that last statement, "isn't anybody normal anymore?"

"What do you mean Satan?"

" like fat girls? Isn't that somewhat...repulsive?"

"Hah! A fruit fly tellin me I'm abnormal?"

"Take that back Esposito! I am not a fruit fly! I'm a..."

"Fag hag?" Carmen interjected unexpectedly while flying into a fit of giggles.

"Shut up!" Nicole thwacked Carmen on the side of the head once more.

"WWWWAAAAAHHHH!" Carmen wailed uncontrollably.

"AAAaaaaawwww my poor baby," Lilly declared as she took Carmen's leash, "momma is taking you home!"

"HEY! What about me?" Nicole was furious.

"Go bother Mary Cherry," Lilly replied as she led Carmen away.

"But..." Nicole was devastated, "MC only likes bullyboys!"

Nicole was in tears now, "its all so BORING!"

"Oh I adore you Lilly!" Carmen said to her little Latina.

"Shaddup!" Lilly exclaimed as she thwacked poor Carmen on the side of the head.

"Ohmygodlilletmewatchplease!" Nicole screamed as she chased after Lilly and Carmen.

Brooke and Sam were alone now.

"Well that was fun," Sam said quietly, "I don't even know my friends anymore...Carmen is a leash dog...Lilly is a chubby chaser...Harrison swings both step-sister is a lesbian...and Mary Cherry is boring!"

"Yo! Sam! You a candy girl?"

Brooke and Sam turned to see Sugar Daddy, huge, sweaty and hairy standing completely naked just five feet away from them, while he postured obscenely and flashed a gigantic erection.

Brooke watched in horror as Sam stood there staring at Sugar Daddy as her dark eyes raked hungrily up and down his hairy shoulders and back, his huge butt, his flabby flapping cellulite, his dancing flaccid breasts.

Samantha McPherson's brain finally went on overload at the huge arousal that suddenly seized her, as her eyes went up into her head and she began seeing stars. Then Sam simply short-circuited and fainted dead away with a nosebleed.

"SSSSTTTTHHHHAAAAMMMMYYY!" Brooke wailed in her made to order language as she threw herself onto her Samantha and hugged the girl to her.

"YO! What's up?" Sugar Daddy was very confused indeed.

chapter 4; Brooke Speaks

Brooke was getting better every day even if it was just a small bit. Now the best of all, the lanky blond had recovered her speech once more so that she was able to communicate in good old English. "Oh joy!" Brooke was exceedingly happy at the sound of her own voice and that made her chirpy despite the fact that she still looked like a huge nuclear accident gone bad, "this thing isn't so bad because I have my Sammy with me!" Once Brooke had wallowed in evil joy for she had been pulling poor Sam down with her into the depths of the quicksand that had trapped her. But since the blond had come out to herself about her lesbianism and love for Sam, her entire perspective had changed. Now Brooke wallowed in pure lust and love as she pulled poor Sam down with her into the quicksand that had trapped her. Now every ache or pain that Brooke suffered was a blessing because her beautiful brunette was there to soothe her. Damn pathetic if you ask me!


The lanky blond was awakened from her Sam thoughts by...Sam, whose gentle, perfumed presence had entered her room, "Sammy?" Brooke asked breathlessly.

Samantha had become accustomed to her role as Brooke's nurse and now took it all in stride. The gorgeous girl entered Brooke's room with quick step, approached the bed where her step-sister lay and leaned down, "feeling better today Brookie?"

"Oh yes Sammy!" Brooke replied happily as she gazed up at her beautiful wraith. The lanky girl's numerous red spots had lightened in color, and had lessened in their evil itch, "much, much better than the last few days!" The measled cheerleader extended her arms out and wrapped them around her sister, thus pulling the girl down to her. Brooke brazenly began to kiss Sam senseless.

"Ugh!" Sam was struggling, "Brooke let me breathe!"

"Stop fighting Sammy!"

"Well you are feeling better!" Sam said as she tried to assess the situation despite octopus-like-Brooke tangling her up, "your fever has gone down enough so that you can eat Chinese! If you let me go I'll order and we can watch TV!"

"I have a much better idea Sam!" Brooke replied huskily for she felt the urge right there and quickly grabbed her girl more tightly, "we can just stay up here!"

"Aaaawww Brooke! Stop it! I'm a candy girl!"

"You promised me Sammy!"

"You pressured me Brooke!"

"No need to be shy Samantha! We have the same plumbing!"

"Then its just like seeing a re-run Brookie."

"Because," Brooke felt a knot in her throat and an ache in her nipples and vagina, as she lay her Samantha down on her bed and snuggled up to her, "I can't help it. I want your re-runs."

"You really aren't going to let me go, huh Brooke?"


Sam rolled her dark eyes and just lay still for she had indeed made the notorious promise to Brooke, and being a somewhat honorable woman she was determined to keep it and... "it ain't so bad."

Brooke swallowed hard and brought up a trembling hand with nervous fingers that clumsily picked at the buttons on Sam's shirt. Somehow Brooke managed to undo her brunette's shirt and was delighted because, " aren't wearing a bra!" Brooke opened the girl's shirt, then gasped at the sight of Sam's two, pale orbs topped by delicate, bright pink nipples that hardened slightly under the blond girl's intense gaze, "oh...God...Sammy," Brooke swallowed hard again for her throat was suddenly parched. Despite having had sex with Josh in the past, Brooke felt very much like a virgin right now as she tenderly began to knead Sam's breasts, to weigh them, outline their roundness and plushness in long and gentle strokes of her slender digits delicately poised on the very tips of the almost crimson aureoles with the most teasing of ghostly touches. Sam fought hard, summoning up to the very last vestige of willpower so as not to lose control under Brooke's tender touch. Sam stiffened in defense against her young body's automatic arousal, as her hands became clawlike blades that dug into the mattress beneath her, then closed into fists as the girl hung on for dear life. No. It just couldn't happen to her. She couldn't feel pleasure like this with Brooke...not with a girl. No. She had other inclinations ever since she was a little girl. She was a candy girl dedicated to the difficult, elusive worship of beautiful lollipops. But Samantha was weakening for she had never felt this tenderness from any other lover and that meant that Brooke was beginning to win her heart.

Brooke wanted to be gentle but her lust mingled with love for Sam overwhelmed her, and she descended onto the girl's bosom in a frenzy to take a hardened nipple into her anxious mouth. Brooke began to suck on Sam's breast like a desperate newborn.

Sam couldn't stop the involuntary moan that escaped from her lips which served to incense an already fiery blond, measled step-sister named Brooke who proceeded to go down completely on the brunette, then kiss her senseless again. Sam had lost her bearings and her fight to keep Brooke from entering her heart, as she closed her eyes and melted into the lanky girl's kiss. Brooke brought forth all the beauty that she could find in her soul to bestow it upon her precious girl in a message of love that she gave in her kiss. Sam was forgetting about boundaries and natural inclinations as she slowly slipped away on a cool, imaginary wave of pleasure under Brooke's kiss. Then Sam felt something that disturbed her and shattered her concentration. Samantha opened her eyes only to see a smirking Nicole standing at the foot of Brooke's bed...


Brooke had to stop kissing Sam to know what the hell was going on, "what is it?"

"Satan," Sam replied quietly.


"HEY BROOKIE!" Nicole yelled suddenly.

"Damn!" Brooke swore as her anger grew into rage, "NIC!"

"So you're still pestering Spammy?"

Brooke shifted, then got up from Sam with great reluctance weighing down on her heart, mingled with the pure desire to murder her best friend, "you just don't know when to..." Suddenly another figure walked brazenly through the door of Brooke's room and stood behind Nicole, "so hey what's up?" Then still another figure entered Brooke's room and stood next to the first figure, "yeah, what's up?"


"Josh...Sugar Daddy?" Brooke was confused, "what are you two doing here?"

"We came with Nicole to pick Sam up," Josh replied.

"Yeah! Sure!" Brooke was dripping venom and sarcasm like like a rigged slot machine spitting out nickles, "NO WAY! Sam is mine!"

"Um...nope!" Josh said firmly, "Sam is gonna be my candy girl now."

"Heh! Who says?" Brooke stood up measled nose to nose with her ex, Josh, and crossed her arms, "well?"

"Nicole says so," Josh replied defiantly as if Nicole were the master of the entire known world.

"Sam is mine," Brooke reiterated stubbornly.

Meanwhile, Nicole couldn't resist the sudden urge to crawl onto Brooke's bed and sit beside a bewildered Samantha, "aaaaawwwww...ain't that just SO cute? Look Spammy...they're fighting over romantic!"

Samantha McPherson just rolled her eyes in evident irony, "oh brother!"

Meanwhile Brooke and tall, blond Josh squared off over a certain gorgeous brunette named Sam.

"You're just pushy McQueen!"

"You're just bland Ford!"



"Your breasts are too small!"

"You can't get your dick to work!"

"Your butt is too big!"

"Your nipples are out of place!"

"What?" Josh's mouth flew open, "what do you mean? NO WAY!"

"They are too!" Brooke was on a roll now, "just look at them!"

Josh turned deathly pale and went from super macho to effeminate supreme as he turned quickly toward Sugar Daddy to inquire in a squeaking girlie voice, "is that true daddy? This bitch says my love buds are out of orbit!"

"I can't believe that I ever even slept with you!" Brooke exclaimed.

Meanwhile, back on Brooke's bed...

"So what is your master plan now Satan?"

"Well Spam...Harrison is totally out of the I talked Josh into pairing up with SD to give us a little show."

"You are still so dreaming Satan! Brooke is sick! I can't leave her alone!"

"Don't worry Spamola! I have the perfect solution for that!"

"That's what frightens me the most!" Sam said fearfully. Meanwhile, back in front of Brooke's bed Josh had quickly acquired a girlish sway to his hips and now waved his hand about in a most sissy manner, "oh daddy," the blond boy
pleaded, "tell me its not so!"

"Um..." big and brutish Sugar Daddy had other matters on his mind as he literally drooled in confusion, "bro...I thought that I was gonna get Sam!"

"Who said so?" Josh put his free hand on his hip which he stuck out, then turned breezily and waved his other hand like a movie siren on dope.

"Nicole promised me," Sugar Daddy said, "after you and me buttfuck...Nicole fucks you and I fuck Sam!"

"HHHHEEEEYYYY! Nobody fucks Sam but ME!" Brooke said so loudly that she startled everyone, "besides...Sammy is a virgin," so now Brooke and everyone turned to look at the brunette.

"" Sam was visibly flustered and just blubbered nervously.

"Well what?" Brooke asked, tapping one foot impatiently while crossing her arms.

"Uh...imnotavirgin!" Sam confessed ashamedly.

"WHAT?" Brooke was shocked and deflated.

"I. Am. Not. A. Virgin."

"WHO?" Brooke had always harbored the fantasy of being the one to...pop Sam's cherry...(intohermouth)!

"I'm not telling!" Sam declared indignantly.

"You won't tell Brooke but you'll tell me Spammy!" Nicole smirked.

"No I will not!"

"Yes you will."




Before Samantha could attach a vowel to the consonant, Nicole jabbed her in the ribs, then buried her fingers in the girl's side.

"EEEEEEEKKKKKK!" Sam screamed properly like a fragile femme on the verge of being mocked raped. Then the girl began to laugh helplessly for she was helplessly ticklish, "no...please...don't!"

"Then tell me Spam!" Nicole continued to knead Sam's tender flesh, "NOW!"


A great silence of disbelief and shock fell upon those present as the imaginary vision of a naked Emory Dick popped
into everyone's mind, "EEEEEWWWWW!"

"How...could you?" Brooke was heartbroken.

"Hey now!" Sam was indignant again.

"Spam is indignant again!" Nicole interjected.

"How could you give your virginity to someone else?" Brooke was in tears now.

"Well who was I supposed to give it to then?" Sam asked loudly.

"Me!" Brooke replied passionately.

"Um...what? Where is it written that I was supposed to give YOU my virginity Brooke?"

"Oh this is gonna be so good!" Nicole declared as she geared up for the blowup between the step-sisters.

"Because!' Brooke screamed with all of her might, "because you belong to me Sam!"

Sam's head almost spun around on her shoulders like that age-old scene from the "Exorcist," "what?" the girl asked in a small voice for she was too baffled to think properly.

"You belong to me Sammy!" Brooke declared, "you always have!"

"Now just a minute Brooke..." Sam was almost spouting smoke.


Everyone turned to see April Tuna, freckled redhead, skinny and dark-eyed, class president sporting a Star Trek uniform standing at the doorway of Brooke's room.

"Why is April here Satan?" Sam asked Nicole.

"Part of my master plan Spammy," Nicole replied with an evil smile.

"Oh pray tell!"

"She's gonna take care of Brooke while you have fun with me, SD and Josh!" Nicole rejoiced in her own brilliance, "I am so a genius!"

"I don't think so!" Brooke said as she turned away from the boys and advanced to the bed and Nicole.

"Oh please Brooke!" Nicole pleaded.

Meanwhile Josh and Sugar Daddy had begun to stare at a suddenly very nervous and fidgety April Tuna.

"What's going on?" the lanky redhead asked, "why are you lollipops staring at me?"

"YO! Bro," Sugar Daddy nudged effeminate Josh, "she used the special word on us...that means..."

"Yes, daddy," Josh replied, "only candy girls call us that!"

"Uh...what are you guys saying?" April glanced toward the door of Brooke's room.

"Admit it darling," Josh swaggered girly fashion toward April, "you love gay guys...that's why you call us lollipops...only a fag hag does that!"

"Hey I am not so!" April declared defensively, "I only like bullyboys!"

"Yo!" Sugar Daddy yelled in triumph, "she did it again!"

"What?" April was hectic now.

"Only a true candy girl calls straight guys bullyboys!" Josh exclaimed firmly, "you're a fruit fly!"

"Um..."April slowly inched toward the door of Brooke's room, "gotta go. Bye now!" Then the skinny redhead made a desperate run for it.

"Quick daddy!" Josh yelled, "let's get her!" the young man knew all to well that "wimen fer fags were purdy rare Indeed."

"Yeah bro!" Sugar Daddy exclaimed as he followed Josh out the door of Brooke's room and in pursuit of April Tuna. April Tuna's desperate screams and Josh's yelps of delight coupled with Sugar Daddy's exclamations of joy were heard all the way down the hall, then down the stairs till the front door was heard to slam shut and silence reigned for a few seconds.

Brooke had been watching the strange scene between Josh, Sugar Daddy and April in silence, and now shook her blond head in bewilderment, "do these strange things really happen?"

Then she turned toward her bed to see another drama unfolding.

Meanwhile on Brooke's bed, Sam and Nicole were involved in a heated argument;

"No Satan! I want Sugar Daddy!"

"No way Spam! You get Josh. SD is all MINE!"

"Get off your high horse Satan! Sugar Daddy wants ME!"

"Look get the blond pastry and I get the MEAT!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Up yours!"

"Shove it!"





"NICOLE GET OUT NOW!" Brooke screamed at the top of her voice.

"Uh...oooohhhh," Nicole was terrified of Brooke, "hey! Where did Sugar Daddy and Josh go?"

"Out the front door after April!" Brooke replied, "looks like they're having the party WITHOUT you Nic!"

"OH NO!" Nicole yelled in pure terror as she got up from Brooke's bed and rushed out the bedroom door, "bye Brookie...Spamola...its not been fun!" but then Nicole paused as she reached the doorway, "HASTA LA VISTA BABY! I'LL BE BACK!" Then the pretty little blond disappeared out the door.

"One more master plan down the drain," Sam said with a sigh, "April gets to see Josh and Sugar Daddy having fun. Oh drat!"

"EEEEWWWW!" Brooke felt like vomiting, "how can you like that? How can that possibly turn you on Sammy?"

"Well," Sam said calmly, "its like this Brookie...Willow and Buffy for you...Willow and Spike for me!"

"Still..." Brooke now wore a predatory smile as she got in bed with her pretty girl, "we can compromise..."


"We can just keep Willow," Brooke smirked, "besides..."


"All the fuss with Nicole and her shit gave me another migraine!" Brooke complained, "I am so tired Sammy!"

"Oh!" Sam quickly went into nurse-mode as she helped Brooke get into bed.

Brooke silently let herself be put to bed by Sam, "Sammy?"

"Yeah Brookie?"

"Would you really leave me here alone to go with Nic to see those guys..."

"I would never leave you while you're sick...even for a hundred wanking lollipops!" Sam said solemnly.

"Hhhhmmm," Brooke had to smile despite the oddness of the comment because it had come from Sam and that made the words ever so much precious to the lanky girl's heart, "what if I'm not sick...and I still need you?"

"I won't leave you then either," Sam said resolutely.

"Sammy...what if I need you all of the time now? What if I just can't live without you? Would it be so bad if you never saw another nude, wanking homo for the rest of your life?"

"That is a troubling description Brooke...for the rest of my life?"

"Yeah," Brooke whispered huskily, "I'm going to marry you."

"Uh..." Sam was taken aback by Brooke's revelation, but then had to smile at the sweetness of it, "I guess I wouldn't be going anywhere."

Sam leaned down and kissed Brooke's forehead, and pulled the covers of the bed up over the sleepy girl, "relax and get some sleep Brooke."



"Don't go. Stay here with me Sammy."

"Okay Brookie," Sam said softly.

Brooke slid over and made room for Sam who shook off her shoes and lay down in the bed beside her sister.

"I hope Nic grows a humongous wart on her nose!" Brooke swore angrily.

"Satan would still come back," Sam replied with a laugh.

"Night Sammy."

"Night Brooke."

chapter 5; Falling Into Place

The measles haze was passing for Brooke and she was almost completely healed. The aches, pains and other assorted symptoms that came and went for Brooke were lessened. Added to Brooke's obvious betterment was the fact that she was thrilled to have Sam all to herself despite the unwanted, unannounced visits by a certain short, blond cheerleader named Nicole and her screwy master plans, who seemed to be obsessing on Samantha and lollipop orgies. But what made Brooke the happiest of all was that she was now touching Sam intimately, constantly, that Sam was letting her and not stiffening or pulling away from her anymore. Now Brooke kissed Sam all of the time and her girl obviously loved it. Brooke's gorgeous brunette was falling in love with her; "I'm getting under Sammy's skin!"



"I have to get up!"

"NO, Sam."


"Don't move."

"I have to give you your medicine!"

"I'm fine."



Sam let out an exasperated sigh as Brooke hushed for the millionth time that morning. Brooke had taken up permanent residence in Sam's bed. Late morning was slipping into afternoon as both teenagers lay in bed, snuggled in each other's arms.

"This isn't SO bad, huh Sammy?"

"Nope," Sam smiled back at her companion, "most definitely not."

Sam lay on her back, and Brooke was draped intimately over her, "I could do this all day Sammy."

"Aaaww...Brooke...let me get up."

"I'm not done."

"I think you're well enough to take a bath today Brookie."

"Wha..." Brooke stopped fondling sam as her hazel eyes lit up, "really Sammy?" The thought of washing her hair filled the lanky girl's blond brain to capacity, "that would be heavenly!"

"Yeah Brookie," Sam was seeing freedom up close, "if you let me get up I'll get a warm bath going with lots of suds ready for you. I'll wash your hair."

"But then I'll have to stop playing with your breasts," Brooke moaned.

" with your own for a while Brooke!"

"But I don't like my breasts, Sam."

"Boobs are boobs, Brooke...what's the difference?"

"You have to think like a lesbian, Sammy. Its not the boobs...its who they're attached to!"

"But I'm not a lesbian, Brooke. I'm a candy girl. I obsess on lollipop nipples because they don't have boobs...just nipples."

"Girls have nipples too" Brooke was blushing profusely now, "uh...I have them too."

" do have a nice pair of buttons on ya Brookie," Sam said with an evil smile.

"And you could have been straight Sam!" Brooke declared, yet inside she was gushing from Samantha's compliment.

"Eeeewww! Don't say that!" Sam was perturbed, "bullyboys are so boring!"

"You candy girls even have your own slang!"

"Lesbians don't have their own language, Brooke?"

"Not really Sam. We're regular girls...except that we like other girls."


"But Sammy...I'm really not like other lesbians."

"How so?"

"I only ever liked one girl in my whole entire life, Sammy. I never ever noticed any other girl besides her."

"Oh that is so very sweet, Brookie," Sam pondered with a smile, "who is she?"

"You," Brooke replied breathlessly.


"Ever since kindergarten when you kicked Harrison for trying to grab my ass, Sammy...I was the new girl...that was the very first time that I ever saw you. I fell in love with you at first sight!"

"Gosh," Sam was astounded by Brooke's unexpected confession, "wow."

"I love you, Sammy," Brooke sat up in bed next to her precious brunette, "I want you to know how I feel about you. This isn't just lust. Its not an experiment."

"But you've been bitching at me for years, Brooke!"

"I thought that you were straight and wouldn't want me, Sammy. So I resented you."

"But I am almost straight," Sam countered, "uh...well sorta."

"I think that I have a chance with you now, Sammy...I think I can get you now."


"How bout you giving me that bath now, Sam? I suddenly feel grungy."

"Sure Brooke."

It was an accepted fact between both girls that Sam would actually, physically help Brooke bathe, and one which made the blond girl tremble with desire.

"Sammy..." Brooke swayed in a vertigo of sudden weakness.

"Its okay, princess...I've got you," Sam's voice came to the blond girl in a soothing tone, as Brooke leaned against her for support.

Sam helped Brooke into the bathroom, then sat the lanky girl on the toilet. Brooke watched in silence as Sam leaned over the tub to open the faucets and test the water temperature with her pale hand. Then Sam turned to her step-sister.

"Want me to help you undress, Brooke?"

"Oh...yes," Brooke's voice quivered in its reply. Brooke gulped audibly as her cheeks reddened, goose bumps erupted everywhere on her body, her nipples hardened, her moans were husked as if in reply to Sam's velvety touch. Sam said nothing more, and her face showed no emotion to embarrass Brooke as she leaned down slightly, then gently divested the blond of her T-shirt, sweat pants and socks. A trembling, horny Brooke let Sam help her into the bathtub of warm, soapy water, then help her sit down. Then Sam knelt beside the bathtub, grabbed the soap and began to lather Brooke up.

Brooke blushed even deeper now as she watched Sam's loving ministrations on her. It was painfully obvious to Brooke now just why she preferred Sam to her numbskull, bland ex- boyfriend Josh, now turned gay himself. Sam's touch was like a velvety, soft veil lightly touching her heated skin, compared to the unpleasant memory of Josh's firm, rough skin and manly touch, his musky smell. Brooke sighed contentedly as she tilted her head back and moaned, "oh...Saaaaammmm..."

Samantha was busy lathering Brooke's arms and shoulders, then her slender hands moved to the blond girl's breasts, "Brooke!"


"I'm giving you a bath!" Sam exclaimed energetically, "snap out of it!"

"Oh," Brooke was hornier than a horde of wild pigs on steroids, "take a bath with me Sammy!"

"No way!" Sam yelled, "you're..."

"I'm so horny, Sam!"

"Indeed, Brooke!"

"Please Sammy?"




Brooke said no more as she simply began to splash wildly thus making almost all of the contents of the tub rain upon her

"BROOKE STOP!" Sam was quite upset now, ""

"I think that you need a bath now, Sammy," Brooke giggled.


"Come on Sammy...strip and get in here!"

"I guess so," Sam replied nonchalantly as she opened the faucets to re-fill the tub with warm water.

"Hurry up, McPherson!" Brooke yelled for she ached fiercely for her gorgeous brunette.

"Can it, McQueen!" Sam replied as she undressed, shedding her sneakers, jeans and tank top. Soon Sam stood naked in all of her slender, curvaceous glory as she stepped into the bathtub with Brooke who looked at her beauty and drooled visibly.

"Oh!" Brooke just wanted to jump out of her skin with lust as Sam sat at the other end of the tub, "come sit on my lap, Sam!"

"I'm only taking a bath, Brooke...THAT'S ALL!"

"Get over here right now McPherson!"

"No way McQueen!"

"Ever heard of Mohammed and the mountain, McPherson?"

"Oh no!" Sam suddenly turned pale, "you mean you'll COME OVER HERE?"



"C'mon Sammy...c'mere," Brooke called softly, "my lap is so warm and soft..."

"Well..." Sam paused for effect until Brooke glared at her, "okay McQueen...I'm coming!"

"Oh Sammy!" Brooke was ecstatic as she held out her long, slender, trembling arms to her beguiling girl who seemed to shift and move liquidly toward her, "oh my!" Brooke felt a thrill rush through her as Sam settled onto her lap, and as the brunette's pale arms wrapped themselves around her firm shoulders, "this is heaven!"

"Is that how you feel about me, Brooke?"

"Yeah baby," Brooke replied near to tears.

"No one has ever felt like that about me," Sam replied pensively as her face came extremely close to Brooke's.

"And I am so very glad about that, Sam," Brooke said as she gazed dreamily back at Samantha.


"Because then you wouldn't be here with me."

"'re so right, Brooke."


Both girls looked into each other's eyes for several seconds, then their faces became sealed as they began to kiss. Their lips met gently and slowly at first as they began their kiss, but escalated into a continuos and passionate lip lock. When they both paused for air, their hearts were beating madly. "Wow!" Sam's head was reeling, "you are such a great kisser, McQueen. I think that I'm seeing stars!"

"Oh...Sam...that means that..." Brooke was gushing.

"That means that I have to keep Spam away from you, Brooke!"

Sam would swear til the end of her life as she recalled this exact moment, that Brooke literally growled like an enraged beast at the sound of Nicole's voice.

"NIC!" Brooke wanted the little blond dead with all of her might.

"HHHHHIIIIIII BROOKIE!" Nicole yelled at the top of her voice as she literally walked into the McSister's bathroom, and sat on the toilet next to the tub where the girls were bathing.

"Just go away Nicole! Brooke yelled angrily.

"Stop foaming at the mouth Brooke," Nicole replied with a smirk on her pretty face, "I'm only going to borrow Spammy for a little can go and masturbate in the meantime!"

"Hey I am not chattel!" Sam declared with indignation.

"Yes you are Spam, so shut up and get out of the tub right now!" Nicole commanded.

Sam automatically got up, and Brooke exploded in rage, "HHHHEEEEYYYY!"

"Can it, Brooke!" Sam said quietly, "she won. Satan's not gonna leave, and I am not going to perform porn for her!"

"EEEEWWWW!" Nicole winced, "and I don't want to partake of a Sapphic orgy!"

"Well put," Sam replied as she wrapped a towel around herself, and helped a naked Brooke out of the bathtub.

Brooke separated herself from Sam, and confronted Nicole, "I am just sick and tired of your anti-lesbian attitude, and all of your stupid master plans to take Sam away from me, Nic! I happen to be very proud of being gay and I intend to make sure that Sam is mine for good!"

"Cool it, Brooke," Nicole said smoothly, "and please do get dressed. I don't want to keep staring at your love buttons!"

An angry Brooke just rolled her eyes at Nicole's candy girl slang, "you exasperating, obnoxious, hateful, evil, conniving, backstabbing, greedy, bland..."

"Now just a minute, Brookie!" Nicole was seething now, "I am not BLAND! You take that back right now!"

"OH BROTHER!" Sam simply rolled her eyes as she began to dress, "just why are you here again Satan? You're just upsetting Brooke. Besides...didn't I tell you that I wouldn't leave Brooke to go anywhere because she's sick?"

"No problem Spamola!" Nicole exclaimed triumphantly, "I have solved everything. I had a major brainstorm!"

"I know that I shouldn't ask...but I can't help myself," Sam complained, "alright Satan...what are you up too?"

"I can't take you to the show so I bring the show to you!" Nicole yelled.

"Huh?" Sam was baffled.

"Oh crap!" Nicole was upset, "and they still say blonds are the dumb ones...Mohammed and the BIRDBRAIN!" the little blond shouted at Samantha.

"Oh...I get it," Sam now understood completely, "but you've run out of lollipops Satan!"

"I can't even believe that I'm listening to this shit!" Brooke interjected as Sam slowly helped her dress.

"I know that Spam..." Nicole continued, ignoring Brooke's acrid comment, "I had a lot of calls to make but I found one lollipop."

"But you need two lollipops, Satan."

"Duh! I know that you brunette bimbo!" Nicole was on the edge of a nervous breakdown, for although Sam was stunning, she was just as exasperating, "well...I had to use a regular bullyboy as well."

"Really?" Sam's eyes popped open, "who?" Sam helped Brooke into bed.

"You'll see!" Nicole gushed as she turned around and snapped her fingers, "get in here you MORON!"

Both Sam and Brooke stood speechless, astounded at what their eyes beheld; Freddie Gong, Kennedy High's most prodigious math student and champion of the chess club walked into Brooke's room dressed in a bright pink tutu and red ballerina shoes, leading a very angry Emory Dick bound by rope and wearing a dog collar.

"So," Nicole said with a hand on hip as she did her best Mae West impression, "what do you think Spammy?"

"Wow," Sam was blown away, "Emory is the bullyboy..."

"And he...TOOK YOUR VIRGINITY!" Brooke cried tearfully, as she wailed on and on like a spoiled brat.

"And now Freddie can take his," Nicole laughed as she patted Emory's butt.

"Oh that is downright awful!" Sam declared with a grimace on her pretty face.

"I know!" Nicole declared gleefully, "and we get to see it firsthand! Dump Brooke and let's go Spammy!"


"Brookie can just take a nap!" Nicole insisted wildly.

"GO TO HELL NIC!" Brooke screamed as her face reddened so much it could have been confused with a ripe tomato!

"That's my hometown Brookie!" Nicole stuck her tongue out at Brooke.

"When I get out of this I'm going to kill you, Nicole Julian!" Emory yelled in his angry but still crisp and elegant English accent.

"Get in line molehead," Nicole smirked, "and it's a VERY long line!"

"I don't want to do this!" poor Freddie cried in purest anguish, "I'm not a rapist!"

"You have to or else!" Nicole screamed as she thrust her angry face into Freddie's frightened one, "you owe me big time!"

"I just can't!" Freddie wailed.

"I own you, Gong!" Nicole snapped angrily, "body and soul! We made a deal; you buttfuck Emory and I get you George!"

"George?" Sam was shocked, "MY George?"

Brooke jabbed Sam in the ribs for her comment, "no more George or anybody else for you but ME!"

"Hey now wait just a minute!" Sam replied.

"See what I mean Spammy?" Nicole interjected eagerly, taking advantage of the sudden argument between the step-sisters, "you have to come with me quickly and get away from Brooke before she corrupts you with her lesbianism!"

"Oh is that so?" Brooke was so angry that she was brewing like a volcano, "and you're the normal one around here Nicole? I can understand a girl liking other girls...or even guys...but for a girl to like fags is the most perverse, twisted, unnatural, cynical, abhorrent, diabolical..."

"Now just a minute there McQueen!" Nicole yelled in pure rage as she thrust her reddened face into Brooke's own angry one, "I demand that you take that back! Candy girls are not UNNATURAL!"

"Oh yes they are!" Brooke screamed back at Nicole, "candy girls are just as bad as...BISEXUALS!"

"That is so not true! Bisexuals are just as normal as anyone else!"

Brooke and Nicole both stopped arguing at the sound of a new voice suddenly interrupting them. Everyone turned to see tall, muscular, chocolate skinned George standing at the door of Brooke's room, "you take that back about bisexuals!"

"I will not!" Brooke rebuffed, "if the rest of us have to're bi?"

"Yes, and proud of it," George replied, "I'm a pendulum!"

"I KNEW IT!" Nicole declared loudly, "a wannabe!"

"So...more candy girl slang?" Brooke whispered to Sam. "Yep."

George walked into Brooke's room, "hey Sam," he smiled.

"Hey George," Sam batted her eyelashes at him flirtatiously.

"Hey STOP THAT!" Brooke intervened jealously as she threw her arm around Sam's shoulders possessively, and crushed the girl to herself, "Sam is MY girl now!"

"GEORGE QUICK DO SOMETHING!" Nicole screamed in desperation, "Brooke is trying to take Spam away from us! If you don't Brooke will turn Sam GAY!"

"Oh brother," Sam didn't even bother to roll her eyes this time.

"I'm not here for Sam anyway!" George said coldly.

"Really?" Brooke exclaimed with joy and relief.

"Really?" Nicole exclaimed with shock and desperation.

"Really?" Sam said weakly and deflatedly.

"You people are all crazy!" Emory declared angrily in his crisp yet elegant English accent, thus breaking the chain of "reallys."

"I've come for Freddie!" George declared.

"Oh my!" Freddie fawned as he let go of Emory's leash and flung himself into George's arms.

"Yes Freddie. I love you!" George exclaimed as he looked into Freddie's dark eyes. Then George leaned down and kissed Freddie full on the lips.

"OH! WOW! MORE!" candy girl Nicole clapped her hands with joy as she started getting horny, "isn't this just great Spammy?"

"Um..."Sam was suddenly feeling very, very odd, " really Satan!"


"Let's get out of here right now Freddie!"

"Yes of course. Whatever you say Georgiepoo!"

Freddie and George left Brooke's room discreetly. Meanwhile, on the other side of Brooke's room...

"Stop it Spam! Don't do this to me!" Nicole had gone deathly pale, "don't you like seeing lollipops getting it on?"

"Eh...well..." Sam blubbered nervously.


"I can't help it Satan! All of a sudden faggots just don't turn me on!"

"OH NO!" Nicole screamed, "you called them FAGGOTS! Not lollipops. Oh no! That can only mean one very horrible fact...YOU'RE NOT A CANDY GIRL ANYMORE!"

"Gee Satan...I guess not!"

"HHHHOOOOORRRRRAAAAAYYYYYY!" Brooke was dancing around her room in pure joy, "my Sammy is NORMAL!"

"BROOKE TURNED YOU GAY!" Nicole screamed in desperation.

"Well...uh..." Sam blubbered once more, "yes," she said firmly, "I guess its true. Brooke turned me gay. I'm in love with her."

"Oh Sammy!" Brooke gushed.

"OH...EEEEWWWW!" Nicole was upset because now she didn't have anyone to play with, "how could you Brooke? You're just horrible!"

"Haha!" Brooke smirked, "live with it Nic! Sam is all mine."

"WAIT!" Nicole screamed, her heart filling with hope, "all is not lost!" the little blond gestured like a ham of an old movie queen from the silent era as she grabbed the gorgeous brunette by the hair, "I'll save you Spammy! You have to be reprogrammed!" Nicole started pulling vigorously on Sam's long hair.

"OUCH! OWOWOW!! LET GO OF ME SATAN!" Sam yelped in obvious pain.

"You're gonna be a candy girl again one way or another Spamola!" Nicole exclaimed heroically, "I'm gonna take you home and fix your head till you're normal again!" Nicole shouted and continued stubbornly pulling on Samantha's long locks with all of her might.


Brooke was frantic, desperate as to how she could save her beautiful girl from Nicole, so she untied Emory and set him free.

"Oh...NICOLE!" the now released Emory Dick shouted in his angry yet crisp and elegant English accent.

"Uh oh," Nicole said quietly, "ooooppppsss," the little blond released Sam and turned several shades of terrified green.

"I am going to sever your head from your body Miss Julian!" Emory shouted as he advanced threateningly on Nicole with a murderous glare in his eyes.

"'t get yer gander up Emory...why don't we talk this over like two non-violent adults?"

"Because I'm not an adult Nicole...I'm a teenager!" Emory shouted, "and I like violence!"

""now it was Nicole who was doing the blubbering and backing away at the same time.

"But it is a good idea Nicole," Emory continued, "what about ME taking YOUR virginity?"

"Hey I only like to watch buttfucking!" Nicole declared, "I don't participate in it!"

"Come here, Nicole!"

"No way!"

"We can talk quietly like you suggested!"

"NOOOOO WAAAAYYYY!" Nicole screamed as she began to run around Brooke's room with Emory in hot pursuit of her. It was then that Brooke did the unexpected; she helped Nicole by sticking her foot out and tripping Emory, thus giving the little blond just enough time to escape through the door of the room.

"Seeya later asshole!" Nicole giggled as she ran down the stairs of the McQueen residence.

"I'll get you yet Nicole!" Emory yelled as he ran out of Brooke's room after his new nemesis.

"Not in this century!" Nicole's voice hysterical with evil laughter echoed from the front door.

Then...absolute silence.

Finally Brooke and Sam were ALONE.

"Why did you trip Emory, Brooke? You helped Satan get away from him!"

"Two reasons Sam."


"Well Nic is still my best friend despite all the shit she made me go through...and because she made me get the measles, you took care of me...and well...that silly promise...and well..."

"Yeah...I get it," Sam said pensively.

"So..." Brooke was nervous.

"So..." Sam was smirking like a prize fighter, "what now?"

Brooke put her arms around Sam and hugged her tightly, "so you're in love with me?"

"I could deny it now, McQueen," Sam replied haughtily.

"But you won't Sammy...cause I got your heart," Brooke said with a knowing smile, "it all works out so well; I love you too. Perfect match!"

"Yeah..." Sam leaned in and kissed Brooke on the lips.

Brooke was about to kiss Sam back, when the brunette remembered the oddest thing;

"Oh no!" Samantha exclaimed suddenly.

"What?" Brooke was worried, "do I have bad breath?"

"No silly...I forgot to ask Satan to give me copies of her Buffy and Spike stories; she has every single one of them!"


"Which you erased from my hard drive Brooke!"

"You still like those two?"

"Absolutely, Brookie."

"Buffy and Willow are better Sammy!"

"Buffy and Spike!"

"Buffy and Willow!"

"Buffy and Spike!"

"I thought you were a lesbian now Sammy...MY lesbian!"

"Ugh! I hate this!"

"I can change your mind Sam!"

"No way! Buffy and Spike!"

"Buffy and Willow!"

"Buffy and Sp..."

Brooke kissed Samantha full on the lips; a long and lingering kiss. The lanky blond traced her girl's full lips with her tongue, then explored Sam's mouth, and played with her tongue. Then Brooke sucked on Sam's lower lip before finally pausing for a second, "so you still like Spike, Sammy?

"Spike who?"

Brooke only smile and went back to kissing her beautiful Samantha.


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