Title: Oh What A Feeling


Summary: Post-coital ruminations of a certain bad ass crimefighter cum-vigilante

Fandom: Birds of Prey the Series

Pairings: Helena/Barbara

Rating: R-ish...cuz I have an affinity for a certain word that starts w/ f and rhyms w/ uck

Feedback: yes please.

Distribution: www.realoftheshadow.com/amluv.htm

Disclaimer: Not a network nitwit or inept producer type...Just preparing myself for life w/o what had the potential to be one of the coolest shows on tv...So don't sue me!

A/N: This fic is unbeta'd.

A/N (2): I was remise in explaining that this along w/ Inner Monologue are companion pieces for Growing Pains...Just to give anyone who gives a rat's ass an idea at what juncture these stories take place....:)

Mmm...so this is what it feels like huh? This is the thing that inspires poetry, and music and on the odd occasion, murder. It feels pretty damn good. I could definitely get use to this. I wouldn't coming back to this after a hard night's crimefighting. If I'd known it would be like this, I'd open my big fat pie-hole a long time ago. I can't believe this is happening. It's like something out of a dream. Actually, now that I think about it, I could appreciate the murder thing, cuz I'd kill to have a lifetime of this. Hm...a life time? That's like forever. Well, actually given the fact my night time gig is fuckin' dangerous, a lifetime could end tomorrow.

I wonder if this was what it was like for mom. Did she feel this way about him? Is this what made her make the decisions she made in life? Did he feel this way about her and did it cause him to make the decisions that he made? Nah. Couldn't be, cuz if that were true, if they felt even a fraction this, nothing would have kept them apart. There is nothing that could tear me away from Barbara. Isn't that the reason why I've stayed this long anyway? It's always been about her. Even when I was going through my share of bodies, it was always about Barbara. It's funny, how far away everything before tonight seems. I mean is that even normal?

Normal? Hmph...nothing about any of us is "normal." I've been in love with her since I was ten years old. And in the fourteen years that followed, I've gone from being pain in the ass "little sister" to pain in the ass surrogate "daughter," to pain in the ass friend and partner. All the time just waiting for the day for her to finally see me as the woman who worships the ground she walks on. Figuratively speaking of course. God, this is so borderline Springer. I can just see it now, "Braniac female paraplegics and the horny vigilante adopted daughters who love them." Bah...who the fuck needs normal anyway. I don't even know what the hell that is. Probably just some asshole's excuse to make up for the fact that he was inadequate.

Look at her. I mean jesus christ, how can anyone be that fuckin' beautiful?  Her hair feels so soft, so silky and whatever shampoo she uses, it drives my senses crazy. I love the way she feels beneath my finger tips, at times hard, others soft, but always smooth. Touching her is like discovering your womanhood for the first time, you can't help but wanna do it until your fingers become numb. I love the way she tastes too. Like coconut and vanilla, with a tinge of salty goodness and me. I just know I'm gonna be constantly craving her many flavors . Craving her and all the while knowing that I'm totally unworthy of having any part of her. I'm selfish and bullheaded, and impulsive, and moody and...everything she isn't. She deserves so much better than me. I mean what can I offer her? All I have is me...all of me. And she's already had that since that third day at the academy. Well, technically, last night was actually the first time she's had "all" of me. But ever since that day, I've belonged to her. Is that enough?

I can feel her stirring beneath me. I try to tighten my arms around her, the very thought of her leaving my arms causes me to freak out a little bit. But she just pokes me in my side.

"Sorry Hel, but I've got to get to work."

"Call and tell them you um...came down with something." I say in my sexiest voice.

"You have no idea how tempting that is, but there are exams to hand out and young minds to mold."


"Okay, okay, okay, but this abandonment is gonna cost ya."

"Hm...oh really?" she looks at me with her right eyebrow cocked

"Yes, really." I purr.

"Okay. Name your price."

"You." I whisper.

She gives me the strangest look. And suddenly My heart sinks straight to my gut. I should have given her some sort of smart ass answer. God, I'm a fuckin' moron...Wait, is she smiling?



"Yes, done."

I just smile and she kisses me. Yeah, definitely could get use to this feeling.

The End


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