Title: "Lost That Place Inside, aka, Alone."
Author: A.M. Glass
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns the characters, the story however is mine.
Distribution: Near Her Always, Realm of Shadows, et al.
Spoilers: I vaguely hit upon a scene from "Entrophy", there is a mention of what happened in the "Body" and "The Gift". This story does take place during "Villains", however it's a scene that wasn't in the episode.
Summary: Dawn's thoughts.
Author's Note: This hasn't been beta'd, and I wrote it very quickly after hearing a line from the song, "That Kind of Love," as sung by Alison Krauss, you may remember it from the end of "Entrophy." For some reason, the line, "Lost That Place Inside," hit me in such a manner that the story your about to read comes from it. I'm not sure it works for a title. I may change it later.
Feedback: Up to you.
I can remember calling out for Buffy.
I didn't really know what to expect, I came home and found the front door wide open. I wasn't sure.
I didn't really think that anything was wrong.
I mean, I should feel something, shouldn't I? Especially if something happens to the people I love, right?
But, I thought, I didn't feel anything when Mom died.
I didn't have a clue.
What kind of daughter am I?
I didn't feel anything until Buffy came by the school and told me.
How was I supposed to know that when I went up stairs, that my heart would be ripped open again.
I'm not sure if I can lose anyone else.
Now, I've los... lost Tara.
I didn't want to find her.
Not like that.
I kept thinking, where is everyone, where's Willow?
Why did Willow leave Tara alone.
I called out to her, Tara.
I noticed that my voice is shaky.
And all I want to do is rush to her.
I want to shake her.
"GET UP!!!! GET UP!!!!"
I want her to hold me and tell me she's okay.
I want to know she's alive.
"Please wake up. please. Don't leave me... not again, please Tara."
I can't touch her.
If I do.
Then I've made it real.
There is nothing real about this.
Who... who's going to take me to get milkshakes.
Make the triangle pancakes for breakfast.
"GOD DAMN IT. WAKE UP!!!!"
I cover my mouth as soon as what I've said leave my mouth.
She'll be mad at me for swearing.
"I'm sorry Tara, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."
I wonder why my face is wet.
I wanna die.
I want my Mommy.
I want Tara.
I... I didn't get a chance to say good-bye.
I shouldn't have to say good-bye yet. It's too soon.
She'll think I didn't care about her.
I fall to the floor, hugging my knees, rocking.
I can't stop rocking.
"I love you Tara."
I keep saying it as the shadows move across her body.
I miss her so much.
I can't remember her voice.
Please... don't take that.
I close my eyes as I try to picture her.
I can't believe how happy I was to see them together again.
How long ago was that?
Remember her smile, I tell myself.
Remember her smile.
She hasn't moved.
Not an inch.
I wonder when Buffy's coming home. I don't think Tara likes being alone.
I don't want to be alone.
I hear someone downstairs.
You won't be alone Tara.
It's Buffy, she's home.
I'd better tell her, she'll take care of it. She always does.
I wait until she comes into the room.
"I... didn't want to leave her alone."
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